KENAPA ADA MASANYA AKU SUKA/DUKA

Did I write another e-book? Yes, I did.

Why? Sebab aku banyak idea yang takcukup kuat untuk jadi novel penuh, dan rasa kesian dengan watak2 dalam otak aku yang kekal dalam otak aku sebab tak ada tempat nak dilepaskan. I am thankful that I finally found E-Sentral, where I can finally give them the place to go.

Apa ada dalam ADA MASANYA AKU SUKA/DUKA? Lima cerita, serta bonus cerpen tentang karakter2 dr "MIE & YOU" (Click HERE to buy). Cerita tentang wanita yang ditinggalkan, cerita tentang gadis yang naif, cerita tentang rakan-rakan yang jengkel, cerita tentang lelaki yang pening, dan kisah perempuan yang menyibuk. 

Will there be another one? Planningnya nak keluarkan satu lagi koleksi cerpen akhir tahun ni, kalau berkesempatan.

Bila nak keluar physical book? Bukan tak nak keluarkan, tapi industri buku sangat teruk sekarang dan pandemik made it worse, dan banyak lagi penulis yang tunggu giliran buku keluar. I realised even if I send one now, it would take a looooong time before it comes out. Maybe 2022 or 2023. So for now, ebook it is. Memang banyak benda nak kena belajar, tapi pandemik ni mengajar aku yang you just have to learn new things. Norma baharu, yo.

Adakah kau rindu nak jumpa readers and promote buku mcm dulu2? SANGATTTTTTT. Tapi tulah... haih... but I still continue to read all messages and reviews, baik dan buruk, and thankful kepada semua yang masih sudi beli buku Nurul Syahida/Shai Kamarudin ni.

Kenapa guna nama Shai Kamarudin? Memang sejak dulu lagi nak guna nama tu instead of Nurul Syahida. Tapi dulu masa join Buku Prima, diorang tak berapa nak ngam dengan nama Shai Kamarudin tu sebab time tu penulis semua guna nama gempak. Memandangkan aku tanak nama gempak, aku kata "Guna ajelah nama sebenar". Ahahaha. So now I finally got to use the name that I have always wanted to use. Yay!

Kenapa guna tajuk ADA MASANYA AKU SUKA/DUKA? Sebab nak bagi muat cover. Ya, itu aje alasannya. Aku nak cover tu penuh dengan tajuk and it was the first thing that came to my mind that fit the whole cover. I am a simple writer with simple reasons for doing things. Ahaahaha.

Di mana nak dapatkan ADA MASANYA AKU SUKA/DUKA? Di E-Sentral! Hanya perlu download apps e-sentral reader di Google Playstore, and then boleh baca buku anda offline through your phone or laptop. 

*Download esentral HERE
*Boleh beli ADA MASANYA AKU SUKA/DUKA HERE only at RM10!

Diskaun Uncle Bos Mama di SHO-PEE PEE PEE PEE PEE PEE PEE...

GUYS!

Buat pengetahuan anda, buku UNCLE BOS MAMA masih belum ada di kedai buku kerana kedai2 buku decided untuk tak ambil stok baharu sementara we are still in the pandemic.

HOWEVER!! Anda boleh dapatkan UNCLE BOS MAMA while stocks last di Pesta Buku Antarabangsa - SHOPEE!! Hanya dengan harga RM22 (this discount hanya sementara PBAKL-Shopee promo masih ada sahaja)

CLICK HERE 

And CLICK HERE untuk dapatkan #KATERERCINTA at RM18.86

KAMPUS (and why it's quite weird to return to that story at 33)

Today, as I surfed the web ("surfed" the web, how '90s of me...), I realised that I have left this blog to die, like I did with my previous blog (I guess leaving things to die is my thing. Like, my rosemary garden, my kitchen cabinet project, my career as a novelist...).

So in the spirit of trying not to have my tombstone read "Here lies Nurul Syahida, that lazy biatch" (but then again, no Muslim has speeches on their tombstone), let's just try to get this thing alive again by sharing with you about my new book.

Why do you have a new book when you already have a book released last September, you ask? Beats me. I don't even know why. I just got a call, and there it is. New book.

RM27. How awkward it is, to put the price here!

Okay, so it's not exactly a full Nurul Syahida book. It's an anthology, or an omnibus, if you will (I am just using a different term because I am pretentious).

So how did this happen?

Back in January, while I decided not to write anything because I just don't have anything in my head or anything new to bring to the table, my editor sent me a message on Facebook asking me if I could spend some time writing a story, just an itsy bitsy teeny weeny one, for a project that they are trying. I asked what project. She said it's a love anthology revolving around  the life in a campus.

Yes, so I did make my debut with a campus story ten years ago (SOALNYA HATI, everyone?), but I was like, "You know, I am not in my early 20s anymore. I can't be doing cutesy love story like Zulaikha and Pyan and get away with it. It would be awkward. Can I do adult stuff?"
"How adult are we talking?"
"Adult like the age group, not the 50-Shades-of-Grey adult."
"Yeah, sure."

Okay, I lied, The above interaction never happened. In truth, my editor asked me for a quick story, I said yes because I am overconfident that way, then I got panicked two weeks in because... who am I kidding? I am bad at deadlines! Then I remembered my friend Rabi, who is a lecturer, so I was like, "Rabi, help me, pleaaaseeee..." and she was like, "Sure!", and I went back to my editor and was like, "Hey, I am going to write a story about a lecturer instead of a student. Cash me ousside, how bow dah?", and she was like, "Your calll, dude...", and I was like, "Mmmkay!"

and then I sat down in front of my laptop, two hands static on the keyboard, and me, going, "Shiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
Cuz, let's be real. I got nothing.

But anyway, as I was sitting around not doing anything because I got no idea, suddenly I remembered something Rabi said back when she just finished her studies and was waiting for the greenlight to come home to Malaysia. It was something about the university making a slip up concerning her ticket home, and she was stranded for a a while overseas. As she shared about how she was arguing on the phone with the person who was supposed to help purchase the ticket, an image of a woman starting to take shape in my mind, and a man, who pretended to listen on the other line while he was actually playing a game on his smartphone.

Then she told me about the time the university forgot to prepare her a room as she returns to work, and one scene over the other began to pour - a nosy mother, a laidback old friend, a room smeared with squirrel's blood, a table by the window with books all over the place.

Then I started to call her Bee, like the insect that never once stopped to smell the flowers.

And that's how the story began.

However, need I remind that this is not like 3 HATI where the stories are both related and unrelated. This time, it's just three writers, sharing three different stories about life in campus.

To order for now, you can either:
1. Whatsapp my agent Abang Long at 019-2254910 (bagi kuantiti buku, your name, address, phone number)
2. buy it online through Karangkraf Mall
3. Wait until Pesta Buku Selangor, which will be held at the SACC Convention Centre from 30 March to 9 April

Till then, nerds!

THE SELF-OBSESSED TRIVIA: Things you should know about...

Maafkan saya sebab dah lama tak apdet blog.

Macam biasa, trivia self-obsessed. Untuk baca trivia buku2 yang sebelum ini, you can click this, and this, and this, and that, and this, and that,

i. AKU KELIRU tak ada dalam aku punya perancangan untuk publish. I had several other manuscripts and ideas in queue, and writing a sequel is none of them. Tapi sebab ramai pembaca email aku dan mintak supaya kisah Roul dan Safiah disambung, dan actually senang sangat nak put on my Safiah & Roul hat, I did it. But like I told you guys dalam post sebelum ini, nak yakinkan publisher untuk keluarkan sekuel kepada buku yang takla dalam senarai bestseller, bukan benda senang.

ii. Seperti yang dah pun diketahui, kali ni aku ketengahkan Masni, tapi Masni dah memang ada sejak AKU KAN NOVELIS. Zaniel pulak dari novel PLAIN JANE. Yang lain-lain cam biasa. Ada watak2 lain yang aku amik dari nama orang yang aku kenal (Masni is my longest blogger friend who is now studying in Japan; Iza is my roomy-BFF kat UIA; Jis is also a long-time blogger friend; Arfah adalah ex-officemate masa kerja kat CO; Roul adalah nama gelaran seorang senior kat UIA dan nama penuh dia Zairul adalah nama ustaz Bahasa Arab kat Matrics UIA; Kirby adalah nama bapak sedara aku...by marriage I mean... I do not have any English blood in me; Ashiqin atau Sha adalah senior aku kat SMKAKS; Shasha adalah sepupu kepada sepupu aku, dan King is her husband and Juxta Art really does exist and you can check them out here https://www.facebook.com/JuxtaART), tapi ada jugak nama-nama yang aku main letak je, like Jane, Eloise, Badariah, Hasrin dan Encik Saleh.

Chaq and I in 2005... on the way to Archery Tournament, by which I mean, lepak makan gula-gula while orang lain memanah

Iza and I in 2006. Sorang grad Psychology, sorang grad Political Science. Sorang jadi lecturer Psychology, sorang buat entah apa-apa entah untuk hidup

Masni and Jis. 2006. Kawan lepak waktu malam kalau ada Frinjan atau those kind of artsy fartsy thing. Ahahaha.

My monster bag, yang aku tempah dari Juxta Arts. Yes, they take orders like this.

iii. That stalker letter sebenarnya aku pernah alami, though aku takleh panggil that person stalker, more like an obsessed guy (dia tatau pun aku novelis) who was angry at me for removing him from Facebook back in 2010 (in my defense, he flooded my posts with unnecessary comments). He wrote me a long private message dengan gaya bahasa yang sama macam yang korang baca dalam surat Zafli.

iv. Perbualan menggunakan Bahasa Kantonis antara Jane dan Eloise is courtesy of my former CO colleague, Wai Ting... aku juga guna nama dia untuk watak colleague Wulan dalam 3 HATI.

v. I got question on why Badariah sangat busuk hati, sebab aku tak explain langsung apa yang dia tak puas hati dengan Masni. Sebenarnya selama aku hidup, aku tak tau apa punca orang busuk hati. Badariah reminds me of someone yang aku pernah jumpa zaman aku kerja dengan CO dulu. Masa tu aku pergi shooting location filem (aku tatau apa jadi kat filem tu. macam tak akan keluar sampai bila-bila je). Antara pelakon yang ada kat location termasuk Yasmin Hani, Rusdi Ramly dan Lana Nordin. This one reporter (I won't say from which publication) sangat benci dengan Lana Nordin that I don't really understand why. Masa tu Lana Nordin was not that famous, dan I know she was trying hard to be nice to everybody, that setiap kali orang interview Yasmin Hani, dia akan mencelah dan bergurau sikit2, which to me, is not a sign of menggedik, but just someone who wants to fit in and show how friendly they are. Tapi entah kenapa, this one female reporter hated her so much, she kept telling us that Lana Nordin gedik, Lana Nordin perasan, Lana Nordin this and that, and saja2 langgar minah tu when she was walking. All the while, Lana cam just senyap dan tak fight back. She looked confused as to why she was treated that way. Which to me, adalah sangat ridiculous, since I was there in every interview, and Lana did nothing wrong at all. It was the female reporter who was exaggerating. So even nowadays, when I saw bad reports about Lana Nordin, I'll be like, "Oh come on. She is not that bad. Don't just make up stuff about her because she is sexy!" and then aku akan teringat about that one female reporter and her treatment of Lana. So, yes. I don't understand why people are being assholes to other people sometimes. And Badariah is like that. Maybe being a bully makes them cool? Maybe they want to fit in? Maybe their life is so miserable that they want to make life miserable for someone else who looks like they are not that miserable?

Kisah Masni juga adalah based pada kisah dua member aku. Diorang tak saling mengenali, tapi kisah diorang seakan sama - which is isu dengan rakan sekerja yang talam dua muka dan kaki bodek.

vi. As you all know, I really hate kisah orang kaya-raya bercinta dengan orang miskin. Senang kata, I hate anything that involves lelaki kaya-raya. Tapi since Zaniel was from buku aku yang kedua, PLAIN JANE dan aku cipta dia sebagai orang kaya dalam novel tu to prove a point about Balkis, I can't actually 'de-wealth' dia.

Bas RapidKL.... the bane of my existence

vii. Dalam satu bab where Masni dan Zaniel berbual dalam bas, dia ada bercerita pasal kaki dia kena sepit dengan pintu bas tapi dia tahankan sepanjang perjalanan sampai bas berhenti kat bust stop berikutnya sekalipun sakit gila. Benda tu sebenarnya jadi kat aku. Masa tu dalam perjalanan balik dari kerja dan bas penuh nak mamp. Tahu tak macam mana sakitnya kaki kena sepit dengan pintu bas? SAKIT. GIL. LE. Tapi sebab masa tu driver awal2 lagi dah warning jangan dekat dengan pintu tapi aku degil sangat, so aku diamkan je kesakitan tu. Aku lebih rela terseksa daripada kena jerit "Kan aku dah kata!" dengan driver. Ahahaha. Dan bas U623 tu memang bas yang aku naik every day back in 2008 masa aku kerja kat CO di Kelana Jaya. Naik kat LRT KJ, turun kat depan Nanyang Siang Pao, go to the opposite road and naik bas U80 balik Shah Alam.

viii. Perbualan Zaniel dengan Masni pasal WWF/WWE adalah disebabkan sehari sebelum tu aku tengok The Rock's return to the match and rasa nostalgic (aku dulu kaki tengok wrestling.... aku pun tatau kenapa... but era The Rock/StoneCold/Triple H was awesome). Dream team WWF aku ialah Chris Jericho dan Hardy Boyz, by the way. Ahahahaha.

because Jericho was awesome. and he wore pants.

ix. Tulis pasal gaya hidup Zaniel memang leceh. Penat aku interview semua member2 yang urban-Bangsar-Subang Jaya style. Nasib baik aku ada member yang memang ada kad keahlian Celebrity Fitness Platinum yang kat Empire tu. Dapatla aku godek dan observe semuanya. Nak masuk gim biasa pun tak mampu apetah lagi yang ada perkataan Platinum.

x. Manuskrip asal ada lebih 800 pages, termasuk a few bit where aku share writing tips (sebab ramai membebel kat internet kata "Tajuk novel, AKU KAN NOVELIS, tapi takde langsung tips penulisan..."). Kali ni aku buat tips penulisan, tapi sebab dah panjang sangat, semua tu aku terpaksa buang. Aku kena buang lebih 150 pages wooo. Ingat senang ke. ahahahaha.

xi. AKU KELIRU ni marks the third time aku mintak cover colour kuning tapi dapat yang tak berapa nak kuning. Aku mintak kuning untuk VALENTINA NERVOSA dapat biru. Aku mintak kuning untuk 3 HATI dapat krim. Aku mintak kuning untuk AKU KELIRU, dapat beige-ish raibow-ish paint color (I love it though, so I am not complaining). Pastu arituh ada novel baru orang lain keluar cover warna kuning yang aku nak, aku cam, "Heyy!!!"...... ahahahahaha, jeles.

xii. Tajuk AKU KELIRU tu an afterthought. Aku tulis citer ni takde tajuk, pastu aku bagi entah apa jela tajuk kat editor aku. Mujur dia memiliki kesabaran.

Scumbag InDesign CS5.5......

xiii. Oh, harap tak ada siapa salahkan editor atas typo error yang berlaku tu. Kisahnya begini. Editor aku tanya kot aku nak slash and hack sendiri manuskrip aku untuk kurangkan jumlah mukasurat. Aku kata, biar aku je yang buat sebab aku tau bahagian mana yang penting and mana yang tak. So dia bagi aku manuskrip yang dia dah selesai edit, and kata "Guna Adobe Indesign CS5, hantar Isnin" (sebab Isnin tu jugak nak masuk printer). Aku pi guna aku punya, CS5.5. Sudahnya, aku hantar Isnin (sebab banyak sgt mukasurat, takleh nak siap edit dalam masa sekejap), diorang takleh bukak (Scumbag Indesign... tambah version .5 kat nama, terus takleh nak bukak). So aku terpaksa convert balik guna Acrobat, and bila sampai kat editor, dia kena convert balik jadi Indesign, and suma susunan dah lari. Kiranya dia terpaksa edit balik everything dalam tempoh yang short sebelum masuk printer tu. So, kalau ada orang yang patut dipersalahkan, sayalah orangnya. Jangan! Jangan baling batu pada saya! I mean, I love working with Sue. She was my first editor, and she is easy to work with.

xiv. Aku tak berniat pun nak buat Chaq menyanyi lagu "Money, Money, Money" masa tunggu Safiah dalam kereta. Tapi aku tengah dengar lagu tu masa tengah menulis scene tu (and the real Chaq pun memang suka dengar lagu-lagu retro)

xv. Untuk mendapatkan AKU KELIRU, sila PM ejen saya Abang Long untuk dapatkan tandatangan berserta exclusive magnet.

Top 10 Male Characters that I Can Watch Three Hours Straight.

I once wrote about what kind of fictional/movie character that inspires me to write, (which you all can read HERE).

Dalam masa yang sama, sesetengah pembaca (aku tak kata "ramai pembaca" because it would be lying...) tanya aku pasal karakter lelaki yang inspire aku. Ala, aku tau kenapa diorang tanya. Mesti sebab baca AKU KAN NOVELIS, lepas tu terpengaruh dengan Roul, lepas tu nak tau what was on my mind when I created Roul, kan? Kan? Ahahahaha.

So aku senaraikan di sini. Sebenarnya bukanlah "inspire" aku, tapi senang kata, aku suka kesemua karakter ni sebab dia ada depth, as in psychological depth, bukan cam being like it "just because" (although dalam entry ni, tak semestinya aku akan buat psychological analysis for every character... sebab aku manusia yang malas). 

Anyway,...

Ini Top 10 Karakter Fiksyen/Filem (Lelaki) yang bagi aku adalah genius:

1. Rhett Butler
("Gone with the Wind")

Ya, aku suka Scarlett O'Hara, dan aku suka saingannya, Rhett Butler. Apa yang aku suka tentang Rhett bukanlah the whole package - bad boy, wealthy arsehole, rides a horse like a boss. Tapi sebab dia saja yang boleh control Scarlett's unexpected behaviour. Control in this sense bermaksud Rhett is a man who has experienced the world dan tahu bila masanya Scarlett buat sesuatu bersebab dan bila masanya she was just acting on her whims. And that can be said in regards to his views about everyone. Dia sorang saja yang rasa this whole war business merugikan dan the South tak ada sebarang strategi tapi sekadar ego yang dipupuk dek semangat 'ketuanan' (atau erti kata lainnya, "Southern Pride"). He's not cynical. He's just being logical. And the others hated him for his socially-marginalised views.

(Sebab tu setiap kali aku dengar member2 citer pasal semangat ketuanan Melayu, aku teringat pada Rhett Butler's heated exchange with the overzealous South fanatic, Charles Hamilton)

Dan aku suka the fact that in the end, he left Scarlett. It shows that Rhett bukan karakter jiwang yang akan buat apa saja demi mendapatkan perempuan yang sah-sah tak tahu menghargai apa yang dia ada. He left her not as a lesson to her, but as a lesson to himself, that his obsession with her passion is poisonous.

Of course aku suka when they were together, because they're such an evil tag team, tapi aku rasa tak ada apa yang lebih hebat berbanding the last part when he left her despite her love confession. It made GONE WITH THE WIND a better story, because then you realised that the story is not actually about Scarlett and Rhett. It's a story about the rise and fall of civilisation yang dipercantikkan dengan kewujudan dua karakter tu. It was the age of civil war. It doesn't want to dumb readers with happily ever afters. (Sebab tu aku sangat benci novel "Scarlett" yang ditulis oleh Alexandra Ripley, sebab she just destroyed all the meaning from GWTW with her annoying happily ever afters...)

Oh, dan jangan lupa his most iconic statement yang suatu masa dulu pernah jadi aku punya title blog...

2. Richard Harrow
(Boardwalk Empire")

Harrow bukan watak utama dalam siri HBO pasal era Prohibition ni. Tapi as soon as the producers masukkan wataknya dalam siri ni, aku terus cam,...Hell yeah! Played by Jack Huston, cucu kepada THE John Huston, the first episode yang dia muncul, lookin' all "Don't-look'at-me" and "I-am-already-dead-in-the-war", aku terus rasa that I will like his character.

First of all, Richard Harrow ada dua personaliti. No, walaupun topeng dan kecacatan muka dia tu ala Two-Face, dual personality yang aku maksudkan bukan macam Two-Face. Harrow is a ruthless assassin who just wants to be normal. The death of Angela beri impak yang lebih besar kepada dia berbanding kepada Jimmy, which is her own husband, sebab Angela was his 'normal'. He was not in love with her, but he loves her for how she treated him as if he was whole (pun intended). The same goes to his loyalty to Jimmy, the only guy yang bercakap dengan dia tanpa mintak dia explain kenapa muka dia macam tu, and the fact that Jimmy shares the same misery with him - that they both think they've already died in the war, and they're only living the remnants of a meaningless life, makes them closer together. And it was super-badass tengok these two guys destroying people who got in Nucky Thompson's way earlier in season 1.

So bila Jimmy mati and Harrow returns to the Darmody mansion dengan his whole arsenal dan tembak semua orang (dengan penuh bergaya, because he's Richard Harrow, bitch!) semata-mata untuk stay true to his promise to Angela and Jimmy and protect their son Tommy, aku depan TV cam, "Yeah, shoot em all! Shoot. Em. All!!"

(okay, perangai suruh tembak orang ni just untuk televisyen. Aku tak condone the use of weapon towards anybody, criminal or not).

3. Mr. Darcy
("Pride & Prejudice) 

Minat Mr. Darcy, oh sangat klise! Tapi I have to admit, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE was the only book yang boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk baca what happen next. Tak ada buku lain. Not even GONE WITH THE WIND boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk tahu what happened in the second act.

Dulu aku anggap Mr. Darcy adalah watak yang paling perfect dalam dunia, tapi itu aku ketika berusia awal 20-an. Masa awal 20-an, rupa paras, kekayaan, dan the whole "I will do anything for her" shit macam sangat dreamy. Tapi di era ini, era aku selalu sakit sendi, banyak bil nak dibayar dan ada metabolisme yang menurun (haih...), Mr. Darcy macam satu fantasy yang tak akan jadi kenyataan. Tapi aku still kena masukkan dia dalam senarai sebab I even dedicated a whole book for Mr. Darcy in my second novel, PLAIN JANE.

The reason is the same with everybody - he is dreamy, complicated, misunderstood, yada yada yada. Next!!

4. Michael Bluth
("Arrested Development")

Memang aneh untuk memasukkan watak Michael Bluth ke dalam senarai. Tapi aku tak kata ini senarai "lelaki idaman aku", just senarai karakter yang aku suka. Dan aku suka Michael Bluth (lakonan Jason Bateman) sebab dia ridiculous. He is adorable, yes... but ridiculous to boot.

I mean, he is a family man yang cuba nak satukan keluarganya tak kira betapa unworthy  dan selfish sekalipun keluarganya tu. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, Michael sendiri bukanlah manusia paling baik dalam dunia. He thought he is. He thought he is the saviour who can unite the family. But he actually does it for his own ego. He can't stand it when he was not the go-to guy atau bila anak dia lebih worship GOB or Lindsay. Dia nak ada say in everything and keep using the word, "I have sacrificed a lot for this family".

Michael Bluth is actually the epitome of almost everybody in the world who think that they're doing something good for others or sacrificing for the sake of others, tapi sebenarnya ada ketidakikhlasan di situ, usually when they feel hurt that they're under-appreciated. Have you ever felt like that? Then, congrats, you're a Michael Bluth. Are you saying you're not? Tahniah, you are in denial, which still makes you a Michael Bluth.

5. Michael Corleone
("The Godfather, 1, 2 & 3")

Setiap kali sebut nama Michael Corleone, mula la otak aku main lagu "Speak Softly Love"... which is actually theme song untuk Don Vito, dan bukan Michael. Masa mula-mula aku tengok THE GODFATHER, aku terlalu muda untuk memahami the fact that the whole story is about Michael, not Vito.

Michael, macam Richard Harrow, cuma nak kehidupan biasa with his beloved, Kay, which in Mafia book means 'fantasy life'. Dia tak nak jadi sebahagian daripada the whole Mafia family, and Don Corleone pun harap yang his most favourite son will not be a part of the "family business". Tapi he was thrust into the criminal life when his father was nearly killed by Sollozo. It's like, he didn't want to join the life of crime because of his father, but he finally joined in because of him. Very Greek tragedy, no?

So here's a normal guy who wants no violence, but had to be violent due to circumstances... and choice. A choice he regretted later, but a choice he can't turn away from. Which is so similar to another of my favourite male character:

6. Walter White
("Breaking Bad")

Walter White, not unlike Michael Corleone, is a non-violent man who has to finally resort to violence. Cuma bezanya, even Michael Corleone tak berniat nak masuk ke dunia jenayah. Tapi Walter, the 50 year-old chemistry genius yang end up jadi under-appreciated chemistry teacher due to his own pride and greed once upon a time, end up menjadi drug kingpin sebab dia tak tahu when to actually stop.

Well, of course he started because he was diagnosed with cancer and will die in two years, so dia tak nak burden his family with debt dengan cara mencari easy money menggunakan kepakarannya dalam chemistry to create the purest crystal meth ever. Tapi Walter White yang itu cuma nak dapatkan duit dengan pantas tanpa keluarganya tahu tentang penyakitnya ataupun aktiviti haramnya. Masalahnya, the world that Walter was forcing himself into is not the typical demand-supply, buy-sell world. The drug biz is a multi-layered criminal world yang melibatkan cartels, which means a lot of additional crimes, death and much more. And he can't get his money by being Walter White, the wimpy high school teacher. He has to play a new role, of a cunning conniving kingpin with the pseudonym Heisenberg.

Apa yang aku suka tentang Walter White adalah the fact that when you peel all the layers, adalah lelaki yang mengalami krisis pertengahan usia. Students dia tak pedulik dengan chemistry, bini dia queen control and sedang pregnant, dia ada two jobs untuk provide for his family and pay the medical bills for his son yang ada cerebral palsy, kawan baik dia di universiti dah berjaya jadi billionaire through the company yang he helped created and he even named, and now he is dying of cancer and may die as an insignificant man despite his actual talent and intelligence.

Tapi once he became "The One Who Knocks", dia lupa diri dan his pride and greed takes over. Tapi the "geniusness" of this character (played by Bryan Cranston of "Malcolm in the Middle" fame) ialah, anda tahu dia sebenarnya evil, selfish, ego, tamak, angkuh... tapi somehow you root for him, because you know how it feels to be unappreciated.

7. Michael Scofield
("Prison Break")

Ah, what is a list of top men without our darling Scofield, eyh? A frikken genius? Checked. Smooth-talker? Checked. Must be filthy rich being one of the best structural engineer around? Checked. Masuk penjara demi abang? Checked. Brooding much? Checked. Origami expert? Checked. Making low latent inhibition sexy? Checked. Menjadikan blueprint penjara seni tatu yang cantik? Checked. Deep blue eyes that you want to swim in? Checked.

Oh, tak payah cerita pasal Wentworth Miller gay atau tak. Itu isu lain. Kita bercakap tentang Scofield, dan bukan pelakon yang melakonkan watak Scofield. Scofield macam that one dude you hope to be with somehow cuz you know if something happens to you, he will do everything in his power to save you... and not in those cliched "Nah, aku beli syarikat ni so kau tak perlu dibuli lagi" sense, but more like, "See, I fake death and run into danger just to see you again..." ala-ala Shakespearean heroes.

I want to be all psychological about Scofield, but I just like him for all the obvious reasons, so macam pointless je nak pura-pura macam ada intelligent views about it. Ahahaha.

8. Sherlock Holmes

For obvious reasons, I will just say that I have all the Sherlock Holmes series, the book, I mean. That's how much love I have for the automaton of a man. People keep liking him for his less than interested view about the world. But to me, he is just an indifferent bastard who cares more about the how than the why.

Which is totally different than me, since I like to know why, before I even want to start to figure out the how.

9. Daryl Dixon
("The Walking Dead")

This is to show that I am a normal girl who does not only worship a 50 year-old crystal meth maker (macam Walter White) atau brooding half-faced assassin (macam Richard Harrow), but a normal woman who looks at Daryl Dixon and thinks, shit, I want one!

That crossbow, that bike, I mean, Daryl is his own video game character. In a way, he is like Michael Scofield. His brother is a goner, and yet he stays true to him. Dia yang hunts for food, dia yang ada weapon paling senyap dan efektif and he is not interested in the whole power struggles, sama ada antara Rick and Shane, atau Rick and the Governer. He's just minding his business like nobody's business.

I mean, kalau aku dalam Zombie Apocalypse, I want to be where he is. Macam lagu The Calling, "I'll go wherever you will go...."

10. Ustaz Ilyaz
("Dari Sujud ke Sujud")

Ini memang totally sebab character Ustaz Ilyas yang dibawak oleh Dude Harlino je, sebab dia nampak sangat meyakinkan sebagai seorang ustaz. Jalan cerita memang out. Aku rasa aku tengok sinetron ni hanya sebab Ustaz Ilyas dan Husna. Jalan cerita yang mengarut pasal the whole rape thing is just like, "What? You know there's an easy solution to the actual problem, right?"

It's not even Dude Harlino per say. I mean, I don't actually like his role as Shamsul Hadi in "Munajat Cinta". It's just that Ustaz Ilyas is familiar. It reminds you of your childhood and teenage years, bila ada ustaz muda mengajar kat sekolah and like, every girl in the school went totally nuts. Like, I remember there was this one ustaz... what was his name... but he was frikken gorgeous, and like, there were female students almost always in the teacher's room asking stuff yang konon2 tak faham masa dalam kelas. Or that ustaz when I was in UIA, not that good looking, but was quite popular with the girls that once a girl blocked me and went, "Ustaz, dah dengar lagu M.Nasir yang baru?" when I was right in the middle of answering his question about Heliocentrism or something (yeppp, nerd alert).

And Ustaz Ilyas reminds me of those ustazes (is that a correct plural?)... asatizes (dah jama' dalam Arab, nak plural english lagi... ish ish..)...in my growing up years. I mean, come on... you all go "Awwwweee....." bila dia sebut nama Husna dengan lemah lembut, kan? Kan? Kan?

And then when Dude goes back to his modern Dude Harlino look, you just want to go, "Duuude (as in duuuude, not Du-de), no. Go back to the pesantren look. It makes you YOU. Don't go back to the modern world. The modern world's an arse!"

PROYEK JIWA KACHAU

Note: Bukan cover rasmi

If my life was a musical (tajuk tak actually menunjukkan isi kandungan sebenar)

Aku suka musical. If only the world is like a musical, where you sometimes burst into a song and dance while  you change your clothes, I would be perfectly happy.

*Nurul Syahida sebenarnya kadang2 burst into a song whenever she likes and dance while changing her clothes, so, that's not really an "if only" thing for her...*

Tapi tak semua musical drama aku suka tengok. Aku tak berminat dengan FOOTLOOSE atau WEST SIDE STORY atau HAIRSPRAY... in short, anything that reminds me of John Travolta. I like musicals for the fact that you are blending music with acting, and suddenly songs that doesn't make sense, makes more sense.

Having said that, I hate GLEE. I used to love GLEE, but then five episodes into the first season, I hated it. I have never loved something and then hate it THAT fast. But that's GLEE for you. It's either you hate it, or you love it, or you love it but then hate it in the end.

Actually, aku tak ada apa2 sebab untuk buat entry ni. Cuma aku agak bosan dan letih menengok kerja dan manuskrip, dan I just want to share some of the songs that I liked, until I can get the confirmation bila novel nak keluar.

"Loving that Man of Mine", from SHOW BOAT (1936)



"Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, I gotta love one man till I die, can't help loving that man of mine."

"Singin' in the Rain", SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)



While Frank Sinatra is a singing dancing elite, Gene Kelly is like a singing dancing marhaen/working class. And nobody else has THAT kind of graceful legs!

"How Lovely to be a Woman", "BYE BYE BIRDIE (1963)



Bukanlah aku suka sangat lagu ni. Agak membebel. Tapi this is how you sing while changing clothes, if you ask me. Ahahaha.

"I Could have Danced All Night", MY FAIR LADY (1964)



Because it's Audrey Hepburn. And it's the easiest song to sing ever. You can have the worst voice in the world, and you still can sing this and be satisfied with your voice.

"On the Street Where You Live", MY FAIR LADY (1964)



Aku sangat sukakan lagu ni (especially versi studio Nat King Cole) sampai aku jadikannya an important part dalam cerita WULAN, yang bakal dikeluarkan dalam novel trio NS, Zara Amani dan Liza Nur April ini!... kot!..... (iklan, tapi tak sure)

"Something Good", SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)



Apart from all the dances, aku lebih suka lagu ni sebab it was the only mature song dan showcase a great combination antara suara Julie Andrews yang lunak dengan suara Christopher Plummer yang kelelakian.

"Why Don't you Do Right?", WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?" (1998)



I don't think WFRR is considered a musical.... but heck, sape peduli. This is such a cool song.

"We Both Reached for the Gun", CHICAGO (2002)



Ramai yang suka "Cell Block Tango"... I wonder why... but I still think this is the best song and best presentation - with Billy Flynn holding on to a Roxie puppet and the other marionettes, signifying how he is controlling everything and everybody in the situation. Dan Renee Zellwegger adalah sangat meyakinkan sebagai puppet.

"Falling Slowly", ONCE (2006)



Aku tak puas hati YouTube takde the actual clip from the movie, sebab the raw version was better than the original soundtrack. I loved it for the fact that Glen and Marketa sing it together in a music shop with a piano on sale. That was the best thing about the song.

Oh, and I despise every other cover there is. This is strictly Glen Hansard song and should only be sang with that voice.... with the exception of Yusuf Islam, cuz they sound the same.

"Hey Jude", ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (2007)



How can you not love "Hey Jude"? Jude in a form of Jim Sturgess? Amazing.

"Winner Takes it All", MAMMA MIA (2008)



Aku rasa lagu ni macam terpisah daripada the whole movie, tapi sebab Meryl Streep yang nyanyi, it's okay then. And I am biased about this song anyway...

"Rainbow Connection", THE MUPPETS (2011)



Rainbow Connection is a classic. It makes you feel good about life and a nice song to sing baby to sleep. Ahahah.

"In My Life/A Heart Full of Love", LES MISERABLES (2012)



Sebelum tengok Les Miserables, I used to love "On my Own" and "Confrontation", tapi lepas tengok the movie, I fell in love with the mix between the two songs, with Coset and Marius falling in love, while Eponine, who was in love with Marius had to step away. It was a perfect "lovers-friendzonee" song.

Menunggu yang Berpenunggu

Hujung minggu lepas, editor hantar SMS, suruh check email.

Editor hantar PDF.
Disuruhnya aku periksa suntingan kedua - meaning manuskrip dah ubah dari bentuk manuskrip ke bentuk novel. Contohnya dihantar dalam bentuk PDF.

Terlampau excited sampai terpaksa baca dua tiga kali untuk pastikan tak ada masalah atau rasa tak puas hati. Seronoknya menulis untuk TeenPrima berbeza dengan buku dewasa. Mungkin lebih penat dari sudut mereka-reka ayat, sebab perlu kurangkan bahasa yang tak semenggah. Tapi seronoknya sebab TeenPrima ada ilustrasi.

Lepas excited tak hengat, aku tanya editor sama ada dah boleh diiklan dalam Facebook atau belum. Tak sabar nak tunjukkan buku baru, dengan bahagian baru dan genre baru kepada pembaca, selepas setahun lebih tak keluarkan buku.

Editor kata nanti dulu. Ada beberapa protokol dengan orang atasan yang perlu diselesaikan.

Tapi aku macam tak boleh nak bersabar. Kena bersabar. Tak boleh! Sabar saja. Oh my God, this is hell!

Apa yang aku boleh buat cuma ini saja:

Mari kita lihat kalau waktu-waktu yang Nurul Syahida habiskan membaca Stephen King akan membantu dia menghasilkan sesuatu dalam genre yang sama...........................

I HATE THESE WOMEN Part 1

Aku suka filem seram. I think my kind of sport is showing filem seram kat member2 dan ketawa bila diorang menjerit. However, despite the fact that biasanya aku tak mudah ditakutkan dengan watak2 klise filem seram (seriously, tak payah kot nak melambai2 ke depan sambil bergerak ke tepi macam ketam... udah basi, tau nggak?), I have my exemptions.

These are some scary characters yang orang lain tak paham kenapa aku mesti takut, tapi aku still takut. You see, I have my reasons why I hate them with all my guts.

The crazy Rattle Rattle lady

Aku bennnnnci gila dengan pompuan ni.
A. Sebab she's the epitome of a nightmare.
Sometimes bila kita tidor and dalam mimpi kita, we saw some weird scary looking thing and then right then and there in that dream kita terpiker, "Oh, shit. She is going to chase me. I just know it. This ain't a dream. this is a nightmare" and lepas kita piker je, menda pelik tu akan kejar kita sampai la kita terbangun dari tidur, all sweaty and scared beyond all reason. Yes, she is that. And since I always have those kind of nightmare, she freaks the hell out of me. See that face. How can you not be freaked out by that?
B. Her famous words is "Just because."
Dalam citer ni, bila mangsa dia tanya dia kenapa dia asik kejar pompuan tu, dia jawab "Just because." I frikken hate these kind of ghosts. I hate something yang tak ada reason. Anything or anybody that does things for no reason is scarier than murderers with intention. That is why for me, the Columbine shooting is scarier than let's say, Ed Gein, and the Suicide Club in Japan is scarier than wars.

Saeki Kayako

I hate crawling ghosts. Aku rasa aku dah selalu citer benda ni. Tapi masa aku kecik2 dulu, aku pernah demam panas. Masa tengah demam tu, aku delirious and saw kartun gambar penagih dadah baju belang2 lukisan IMUDA crawling down tannga rumah aku. Since then, I hate things that crawls... except babies. Saeki Kayako adalah one of the prominent figures in the scary crawling business. =_=
Tapi sekarang kalau ada lagi hantu yang merangkak, aku akan tutup TV. Bukan sebab takut, tapi sebab menyampah tengok copycats.

The grinning crazy girl in Insidious

Other than crawling creepy things, aku juga benci satu perbuatan ini. MENYERINGAI. Aku tak suka perkataan menyeringai dan apa saja yang menyeringai. Tersengih is just tersengih. Tapi menyeringai is a kind of a sadistic version of tersengih. The thing about grinning is... it means anything. A frown means you're doing something from anger. A grin means you're doing something out of craziness. See that face? She might not just shoot you. She may shoot you, then stab you with a screwdriver, set your cat on fire, skin you alive and make a purse out of it. And then sit down with your corpse and watch WHEEL OF FORTUNE on TV.
Aku tak kisah tengok INSIDIOUS banyak2 kali. Tapi aku tak akan pandang bahagian this girl and her other crazy grinning twin sister. Nnnnope.

The ghost lady looking for her kid

Aku masih membenci adik aku sebab made me watch/read this. You see, filem hantu Korea tak menakutkan, malah menjengkelkan (aku tengok THE CAT dan THE TALE OF TWO SISTERS sampai tertido). But this webtoon.....
A story. Masa aku kat SMKAKS dulu, one night, aku terjaga dari tidur and saw this one girl datang ke arah antara katil aku dan junior bilik aku si Arima dalam gelap. Rupa dia macam Arima, except the fact that masa tu Arima tengah tidur kat katil sebelah aku. Selain itu jugeeee, dia pakai baju tidur yang sama dengan Arima, seluar tidor yang sama dengan Arima dan bertocang macam Arima. Tapi bezanya, tocangnya menegak, as if something invisible is holding it behind her. Dia datang dekat dengan Arima dan dengan suara yang sama macam Arima, she said, "Arima, temankan kita pergi toilet."
Masa tu, aku terfikir, "Kalau Arima tak bangun-bangun, mesti dia akan pusing ke arah aku dan ajak aku pulak pergi toilet. Baik aku pura2 tidor." So, dengan perlahan2, aku pusingkan badan aku ke arah lain.
So, in this webtoon, the ghost tanya the girl "Kau nampak anak aku tak?". Budak pompuan yang ketakutan tu just main tuding je jari dia ke arah mana tah dan hantu tu pergi ke arah yang ditunjukkan. Before the scariest shit occurred yang membuatkan aku terlompat dari sofa, the girl was thinking one thing. "Kalau benda tu tak jumpa anak dia, mesti dia akan datang balik kat aku. Baik aku lari."
The same dialogue in that webtoon reminded me of what I was thinking back in 1999 when I was in dorm 34 di ASPURI, SMKAKS - when that Arima-looking girl was asking Arima untuk temankan dia pergi toilet.

The Visitor bloody woman

She is not THAT scary sebenarnya. Aku just agak overwhelmed by the fact that bentuk rumah budak perempuan yang diganggunya macam rumah aku. Bila lokasi cerita hantu tu menyerupai bentuk rumah anda, you know you are going to think that THAT is going to happen at your own house too.
Stupid bloody woman.

Lapan Watak Heroine Novel Yang Bagi Aku Inspirasi

1. Aisyah
("Aisyah",)
Masa aku baca "Aisyah", aku memang tak boleh nak letak buku ni. Sepanjang hidup aku yang singkat ni, aku assume buku tu tulisan Khadijah Hashim sebab aku rasa macam KH yang tulis. Tapi bila aku check balik KH punya biografi, tak ada plak buku tajuk ni. Heran. Oh well, aku baca masa darjah enam. I must have been dreaming it.

2. Elizabeth Bennet
("Pride & Prejudice", Jane Austen)
Orang kata the beauty of Lizzy is the fact that setiap wanita yang membaca P&P akan rasa ada kualiti Lizzy yang ada pada diri diorang. It's true. For me, aku suka the fact that Lizzy tak actually berfikir di luar kotak. Dia selalu make fun of her mum who keeps trying to find suitors for her and her sisters, but at the same time dia menghargai the tradition of her era. She has her views and question things but she's still a normal girl. Kebanyakan heroin novel yang aku cipta, aku sentiasa cuba maintain that main quality of Lizzy - yang berfikiran jauh tapi tak go against the norms and tradition, as in independent but not rebellious. She's not trying to change the world, she just wants to live in it in peace. I mean, a lot of women characters tries too hard to be free and doing things overdramatically and is always right. But Lizzy is human. She makes decision, she voices her opinion and she admits it when she's wrong. And that's what I love about her... (and of course what Mr. Darcy loved about her).
Oh, dan aku paling suka Jennifer Ehle's interpretation of Lizzy sebab that's how I interprete Lizzy. Keira Knightley's was okay, cuma her proportion is ridiculous for a girl living in the Regency Era. I hate the Bolly version with Aishwarya Rai the most and Gemma Arterton's version doesn't help anything.

3. Alice
("Alice in Wonderland", Lewis Carroll)
Hardly a heroine, but still... Wonderland is the realm of dream. It was written as a place you go while you were sleeping. That's the whole spiel and the reason why everything is so LSD-ed dan pelik. Aku bukan suka Alice sebab dia heroic or buat apa pun dalam AIW. Aku suka the fact that Alice seorang yang curious dan sentiasa ingin tahu (hence the trademark "Curiouser and curiouser"). Aku seorang yang curious- which makes me bad at math because nobody pernah boleh explain pada aku why a formula is a formula. Jadi aku sangat suka Alice in that sense. She's curious and ridiculous - which is how I would love to describe myself. Akaka.

4. Scarlett O'Hara
("Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell)
A belle and a bitch - that's how I would describe her. Scarlett tak ada bezanya macam bos perempuan yang menyakitkan hati korang sebab kedekut tapi demand a lot, flirtatious dan sangat workaholic. Setiap perkara yang Scarlett buat ada sebabnya, even after marrying Rhett. A bit Machiavellian sebenarnya, but still, aku rasa watak Scarlett memang a breathe of fresh air sebab I think she is the very first character yang aku suka dan aku benci dalam masa yang sama. You applaud her survival instinct but you're horrified at the extent of things she would do to survive. She's proud, stubborn, opinionated and doesn't care.

5. Anne Shirley
("Anne of Green Gables", L.M. Montgomery)
Aku start liking AOGG through the Canadian TV series in the 80s, played by Megan Follows. Then aku start baca buku2 LM Montgomery. She's an icon for girls everywhere. What I love about Anne is the fact that she has a large scope of imagination. Nothing is truer when she said, somewhere along the line of "I pity the rich, because you can have everything that you have no scope of imagination". Imagination comes from the nothing. Anda tak bermimpi untuk one day boleh mandi dalam swimming pool all day long when you already have that in your house. Anda tak bermimpi tentang pakaian yang mahal dan majlis yang mewah bila anda boleh attend those things and wear those clothes bila2 saja. Anne Shirley's dream was to become a writer. As a girl growing up desiring to be a novelist, I can relate to her. Even bila dia akhirnya berjaya jadi novelist, I still can relate to her.

6. Judy Abbott
("Daddy Long Legs", Jean Webster)
Sebenarnya Judy Abbott pun tak banyak beza dengan Anne. Aku suka Anne, Judy dan Jo March for the exact same reason - that they all wanted to become a writer, and each and every one of them went through different kinds of hardships to get to where they are. For Anne, it's rejection. For Judy, it's her life as an orphan. For Jo, it's the hardships of the Civil War. For me, it's to convince that a story doesn't need a formula to work, it needs honesty.

7. Josephine 'Jo' March
("Little Women", Louisa May Alcott)
Like Judy and Anne, aku sukakan watak ni sebab she has a dream to become a writer. Suatu masa dulu, aku pernah terfikir, kalau aku nak menulis, aku nak guna pen name "JoAnne Shai Laden" - as a tribute to Jo March from "Little Women" dan "Anne" of the "Anne of Green Gables". Poyo tak? Wakakakaka. Aku suka Jo sebab aku rasa aku dengan dia banyak persamaan. We're both second child. We're both stubborn. My dad  always let me do stuff he won't let my sister do because he thinks I have that boyish side to me, just like Jo. We're both clumsy and opinionated. We both have bad temper and both of us are not interested in the typical "schoolgirl crush" and have this thing about older intelligent men. Hahahahaha.

8. Irene Adler
("Sherlock Holmes", Arthur Conan Doyle)
Although I hate how Irene was portrayed in the SHERLOCK HOLMES movie, aku still suka the actual Irene Adler as Arthur Conan Doyle wrote it in "A Scandal in Bohemia". Irene as Doyle created sangat feminine tapi sangat cunning. I mean, as the only woman Holmes thought of as worthy of his greatness.  I hate it when a feminine character uses her sex appeal to get ahead. But Irene does it in the most ladylike manner, I just couldn't hate her.

a book hoarder | a writer-stalker | a woman in her late 20s

Remember that time, masa aku sangat excited order buku TENTANG & KENTANG karya Saharil Hasrin Sanin?

This time, I made a special request to Kinokuniya to find me this:

And then this happens:

And now, this will happen:

Does that make me a book hoarder, a writer-stalker or just a woman in her late 20s?

Sudah beli ke belum, baru jumpa dah senyum, bagai bunga sekuntum,...

Kesibukan yang melanda telah menyebabkan aku sukar untuk menulis dengan lebih jitu. Dan hari ini aku hanya ingin bertanya kepadamu, adakah kamu sudah membeli semua buku MCK?

Por favor...
Akan ku tulis blog ini dengan lebih jitu apabila ku temui masa untuknya. Link di tepi itu pun belum ku update. Ish, Shai niiiii...

Puh-tay-toes, puh-tuh-tohs

Adakah aku dikira ada masalah otak kalau rasa sangat excited akhirnya dapat beli buku ini dan habiskan masa dua minit merenung tulisan di website itu?

Mungkin.

Well, at least I'm not waiting by the door like Scott Pilgrim..............

Akukah anjing itu?

Aku tak tahulah kalau penulis lain semua suci dan tidak self-obsessed.

Oh tapi aku memang self-obsessed. Aku memang suka google nama sendiri dan baca review orang tentang buku aku. Kenapa? Sebab aku kerja kat umah dan kadang-kadang aku jadi boring. Macam ikan laga dalam akuarium. Cuba ikan laga dalam akuarium tu dibagi internet, aku pasti ia juga akan meng-google spesisnya.

Jadi tadi aku duk google diri sendiri dengan penuh narsisis. Dan aku menemui forum yang bercakap tentang penulis-penulis kegemaran. Maka berlakulah babak aku gelak sensorang di depan laptop - sesuatu yang sentiasa berlaku pada mana-mana insan yang tengok variety show Korea kat laptop diorang, sekalipun itu bukan punca aku gelak - bila membaca satu kenyataan yang agak accurate oleh seorang forumer mengenai aku.

Aku tak dapat menafikan ini kali pertama aku dikaitkan dengan perkataan "menganjing" dan bunyiknya sangatlah aneh.

Forumer menulis:

"contoh, hlovate. yang ni, memang gila la ketagihan aku dengan buku dia. buku versus, entah berapa kali aku baca. 'rooftop rant' aku rasa paling best selain 'versus'. '5 tahun 5 bulan' best jugak tapi boleh nampak masa ni, hlovate kurang matang lagi. yang latest, contengan jalanan. buku ni agak serius sikit tapi boleh tunjuk sisi hlovate dari zaman dulu sehingga zaman berubah dia. one thing, yang best pasal hlovate ni, dia selalu travel dalam novel dia. jadi, macam seronoklah sebab kita pun 'fly' sekali walaupun tiada passport dalam 'contengan jalanan', dah travel ke australia dengan indonesia. wink wink. lepas tu, satu lagi identiti hlovate selain skate dan muzik adalah bahasa rojak yang dia suka guna tu. speak malay and some english at the same time. oh ya, dia suka harun yahya juga!

noor suraya. aku suka dia. sejak cerita 'rumah kecil di ujung padang'. cerita ni, kira satu kompilasi la dalam novel nama 'pelangi'. 3 penulis berkongsi satu novel. kemudian, aku jumpa 'jaja & din'. buku yang paling power dan asyik nak buat aku gelak je. hehehe. pastu, aku baca 'panggil aku dahlia'. buku ni agak slow melow cerita dia tapi berkembang dengan cantiknya, yang (mungkin) boleh buat anda tersengih- sengih saat perhubungan wadi dengan dahlia.

nurul syahida. satu lagi penulis yang aku discover. hehehe. kawan aku recommend buku 'plain jane' tapi aku tak jumpa kat kedai jadi, aku start baca dengan 'aku kan novelis'. buku ni agak siot dengan watak utama yang asyik berlagak je dan roul yang agak gila perwatakannya kalau dia betul2 wujud kat alam realiti. pastu aku baca 'valentina nervosa'. buku ni agak serius sikit KOT sebab watak utama dia asyik sedih kena tinggal boyfriend 3 tahun lepas! yang aku suka pasal penulis ni, dia suka menganjing kena pada tempat dan dia suka membodoh2kan perkara yang sedih. jadi, menda tu tak nampak sedih sangat tau. ahahaha. 

one thing yang boleh nampak antara hlovate dengan nurul syahida ialah, hlovate suka wataknya bertemu jodoh pada awal 20-an tapi nurul syahida pula selalunya buat watak dia bertemu cinta, jodoh ler tu, start pertengahan hingga akhir 20-an."


http://forum.malakat92.com/index.php?s=e81d876ae780a0ac1639763235436538&showtopic=2048&pid=149190&st=300&#entry149190

Kalau aku letak tajuk pun, leh dapat award ke blog ni?

Minggu lepas aku sibuk tahap ba.....dak laut.

ISNIN

Aku tak ingat apa aku buat hari Isnin. Kehidupan aku agak vague setiap kali Isnin menjelma.

SELASA

Aku ada press preview dan press conference filem terbaru pengarah Singapore, Wee Li Lin, "Forever". I always have a soft spot for Wee Li Lin's movies. Sekalipun selama aku bekerja dalam bidang bidan terjun kewartawanan hiburan ni dah lama, tapi aku bukan jenis yang pedulik artis. Oleh sebab yang demikian artis pun tak pernah pedulikkan aku. Kami sama2 tak pedulik. Jadi aku bukanlah macam Michelle Melodi yang dikenali semua golongan artis. Tapi it's different dengan Wee. I can't vouch that she remembered my name, but for her to smile at my tiny camera despite of all the big DSLR around with that tiny recognition, I knew that she remembered me. And I have always loved her movies and her female voice - she is fun and flirtatious, intelligent and yet not too feministic. And her movies is how I want my novels to be remembered. Check out review filem FOREVER kat right side blog ni. 

Then pergi ofis untuk hantar press kit yang dah macam setahun bertimbun tu. Aku baru tak lawat opis tiga bulan, press kit macam tak lawat 5 tahun. Oh, untuk pemahaman umum dengan bahasa yang mudah, press kit adalah things yang pengedar filem bagi pada reviewer untuk dijadikan reference ketika menulis ulasan atau menulis berita. Think of "First Aid Kit" and buang the "First Aid" part of it. Yes, it means something like that without the peti and the bandage. Hahahaha (aku makin menyusahkan maksud benda tu je).

Balik tu aku teringat bahawasanya ofis satu lagi belum jawab soalan aku fasal 14 filem yang aku kena review. Jadi aku pun hantar SMS pada editor aku tanya apasai takdak sapa jawab email aku dari kamis lepas. Tapi dia kata suh datang dulu ke ofis untuk amik aku punye free passes dan baru bincang. Aku dah lupa pasal free passes tu sbb aku tau dah diri sendiri kalau dapat free passes memang tak pernah guna. Dulu aku ada free passes to any movie screening tapi aku langsung tak guna sampaila hujung tahun. Biasanya orang pergi kerja untuk dapatkan reward kan? Instead, aku kena amik reward supaya diberikan kerja. Tak dibuat dek orang. Tai rasa menyesal jugak sebab tadi dah pegi opis, and kena menapak lagi ke opis. Aku bukan gemar benor KJ tu. Kalau ada dua KJ yang aku tak gemar di dunia, itu adalah Khairy Jamaludin.... dan Kelana Jaya.

RABU

Aku cuba menyiapkan SAFA DAN MARWAH. Sejak bos bagi aku laptopnya, aku kena cue semua kerja translation aku. That means kalau biasanya aku amik masa sejam untuk translate, sejam lagi untuk edit - sekarang aku perlukan sejam translate, sejam edit, sejam masukkan dalam software, dua jam cue. Itu untuk show yang 30 minit. Kalau sejam? Dua jam? Ha, ganda2kan jela semua jam2 tu.

Mun kata MAHB ada this whole bukak booth hari Jumaat and tanya kalau aku free nak join. Aku mana pernah free. Tapi disebabkan aku rasa GMO dah lama tak bukak booth, aku pon agree jela.

KHAMIS

Demi 14 buah filem yang tak ber-review tu, aku pun menapak semula ke CO. Tapi bila aku sampai je, editor aku kata dari 14 movie tu cuma tinggal 1 je yang belum review............................... memang ada rasa macam bunyi cengkerik dalam hati aku masa tu, cam, aku tinggalkan kerja aku yang melambak hanya untuk diberitahu kerja aku tinggal satu je? Bukan sembilan atau sepuluh... tapi satu?

Lepak kat pantry berburak dengan Kak Ani tentang kehidupan (hahaha) sementara tunggu si Mun datang (aku kena gi umah dia untuk assist prepare GMO product for the next day). Kak Ani dah menggunakan falsafah baru iaitu "Lantakkanlah. Aku buat kerja aku, kau buat kerja kau. Akhir bulan dapat gaji." 

Petang tu pergi rumah Mun dan habiskan the whole night menyiapkan 70 pieces of crumbles, 5 pies and 40 chocolate moist cake (oh cake tu Mun handle sensorang). Tapi disebabkan aku memang insomnia setiap malam, penat camana pun, aku still takleh tido dgn tenang. Sempat plak tu siapkan 4 news.

JUMAAT

Bukak booth kat MAHB. Nusara nak promote catering so kitorang jual both product GMO dan jugak Beriyani Kambing Nusara. Memula agak slow dan kitorang risau gak. Tapi tetibe bile orang balik solat Jumaat, tetibe tak menang tangan. Aku punyela penat dan haus, aku berjaya habiskan sebotol air mineral, setin air Sprite, sekotak teh ais lemon dan sebotol 100Plus. Pergh, macam tangki ah badan aku hari tuh. Maria called tanya fasal pie sebab nak sambut birthday maknya. Since Nad tengah busy adjusting to her new job, aku cadangkan yang the pie dideliver terus ke Subang Jaya through Mun and suruh Adam amik.

Balik rumah terus lembik. 

SABTU

Memula macam nak demam. Aku tak rasa demam tu sebab penat kerja. Demam tu just sebab aku guan energy lebih daripada recharge energy. Tapi sebab dah janji nak jumpa Liza (Nur), petang tu aku gagahkan diri jugak ke Pesta Buku Selangor. Lepak kejap kat situ, lepas tu pi makan kat Secret Recipe sambil berborak pasal hidup (ye, aku mmg suka berborak fasal hidup. hahaha). Lepas Liza balik, aku and kaklong beli stuff and balik umah.

Sementara tunggu dijemput, adala sorang budak umur dalam 3 ke 4 tahun main-main kat tepi aku. Aku tak pedulikla pasal dia berlari-lari melompat2 tuh, tapi yang buat aku tergelak sensorang ialah budak tu menyanyi lagu "Ice ice baby... ding ding ding ding digeding ding..." Macam dah berkurun kot aku tak dengar lagu Vanilla Ice tu and tetibe budak yang memang belum dibuat lagi (probably bapak dia pon baru pandai mengeja masa tu) pada zaman Vanilla Ice popular nyanyi lagu tu.

AHAD

Menyiapkan kerja subtitling yang maha dahsyat. Sebuah filem tahun 1980-an lakonan Rano Karno dan Marissa Haque yang bertajuk KEMBANG SEMUSIM. Sampai sekarang aku belum siap buat sebab:

a) Istilah remaja pada tahun 1980-an, mana aku nak tau. Nak research pun tak ada kat internet.

b) Cerita to reminisce to stuff Khadijah Hashim would write in those days, like a one location movie ala2 "GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER" lakonan Sydney Poitier tahun 60-an dulu. Agak penat nak tengok sebab tak banyak bergerak. Plot is more or less talking at the same spot for more than an hour.

Ha, siap kau.... aku punye diary kehidupan minggu lepas. Lain kali aku menulis macam ni jela eh? Hahahahaha.

Author of Desperation

Writer : Yours truly

Editor: Nor Hawanis 

Graphic: Hazleza Halidi

Price : RM19.90

Nothing scares a writer more than a new book, especially when the former one had a great year. She will start to think too much into it and worry if people don't like it. But Masni gave me a good advice. She said that no matter how it turned out, no matter if people like it or not, no matter what people say, I have to stay true to myself and what I write, and that I should not think about whether people will like it or not.

Which makes me think, maybe that is why certain indie writers/artists/etc prefer to stay underground rather than go mainstream. It is easier when there is no expectation. I think I worry too much now about what people will think, about reviews and stuff when the reason I started writing was to write what I like and what I want to read and to stay true to that and that alone.

I guess it gets to me too much. I used to be JUST a writer. No media promotion whatsoever. My book is known from words of mouth instead of from paper or the TV. But these past couple of months I have been doing lots of that and somehow the idea of trying to please people gets into my head and plays with my mind. I was also nervous because this is the first time I work with another editor. Before this, Ecah edited all my books and she has been doing the 'anything-goes' style (i.e; "...just let Shai do whatever crap she wants with her writing as long as she will not put me into trouble"). This is also the first time my book is under Grup Buku Karangkraf instead of just Buku Prima. It's dealing with the biggies that gets into my head.

I think the moment I turn my blog into my professional blog and my NSK fb into a professional account, I started to realise that my books are actually read and get feedbacks from people in Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei. Oyh, stress alert. Thinking too much. Must eat.

Oh, my interview with Majalah RAPI will be in stores 15 May. Again, I will be attending booksigning on 24th with my dearest sister, Zara Amani and I will be there on 23rd to see my old podnuh-in-crime Kak Siti Rosmizah launch her new book and just check on Dhuha and Liza while I am at it.  

Hey, do you think if I write in the US, Leonardo Dicaprio will read it? Hahahahaha. Berangan.

It's all about the movies

Sure. Aku tak ada idea nak tulis apa dalam blog and while reading Amir's book "120 MALAY MOVIES", aku teringat ada satu draft entry about movies aku tak published. So, I rewrite again, and here it is:

(sebenarnya kalau nak dilist-kan, aku tak rasa 3 for each category cukup, tapi kalau panjang2 nanti korang muak nak baca).

1. FILEM YANG AKU TAK BOLEH TENGOK SEBAB MENGGANGGU EMOSI AKU
(why God why???)

i. Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
- seriously. Sampai sekarang pun aku masih sebut aiskrim as "aisekeriiimu" disebabkan Setsuko. She's just too adorable that when she died, I hated the Americans.

ii. Singapura Dilanggar Todak (1961)
The movie shows how sikap berdengki orang melayu sangatlah teruk, to the extent they kill a young boy just because he seems like a bright kid to come up with the solution on how to elakkan diri dari kena sambar todak. When they throw Hang Nadim (played by Allahyarham Bat Latiff) chained to the rock into the sea, I just can't bear to watch it. Kudos to Bat for his horrifying scream.

iii. Ibu Mertuaku (1962)
If your MIL is one heartless bitch, do you think that cucuk mata sendiri dengan garfu is a wise decision? Shouldn't you be gouging HER eyes instead? He was being sardonic, you know. Like, "My God, woman! You are so annoying I'd rather be blind then be you son-in-law." But then again, you should just say it, not spray it!

2. WEIRDEST FILMS I HAVE EVER WATCHED
(2 of them comes from Japan... they're a weird bunch)

i. Uzumaki (2000)
Okay, so I'm gonna be annoying and say that the manga was better. But Uzumaki memang the type of movie that makes you go "What the F----". How screwed up Junji Ito as a mangaka, to be scaring people with such mundane stuff like a spiral? FYI, you will be very aware of the existence of everything spiralling in your life after watching this movie.

ii. The Human Centipede (2010)
Like i have bebel about it before, cerita tentang mad scientist yang nak his own human pet and torture people to be one - it's very Junji Ito-ish but at the same time, very European. Can you imagine what Junji Ito would do if he lives in the Third Reich era?

iii. Marebito (2004)
Takashi Shimizu's more 'meaningful' horror just made me go "Heh?" but at the same time, aku tak dapat keep my eyes away from the screen. Macam kena sumpah tengok cerita ni sampai habis and think "Can't the dude just give the girl some decent clothes to wear, and not his blood?"

4. FILEM2 MELAYU YANG PALING KELAKAR (in a positive way)
(comedy cara terbaik untuk sindir orang)

i. Seniman Bujang Lapok (1961)
Seniman Bujang Lapok makes fun of almost everything from the fact that drama purba buat skrip mengarut (makan belacan pun kene ceraikan - like how the king execute the girl for eating his fruit dalam "Sultan Mahmud Mangkat Dijulang") to the fact girls just don't like clingy guys ("Jaga2 Cik Salmah!".

ii. Man Laksa (2006)
Man Laksa is like reading Lat's comic. You have to watch and observe everything in one frame. Nothing cracks me up more than seeing how big the flower on Apek's batik shirt just because he's the leader of the AJKs and then Man pakai bunga tu after watak Apek pengsan. So much fuss about the flower, macam politician Malaysia rebut kuasa.

iii. Ali Baba Bujang Lapok (1960)
Sindiran tentang isu labor, dan sangat banyak worthy quotes dalam filem ni, like "Kami tak boleh kerja Ahad, sebab Ahad public holiday" or the fact that the rich man mintak dirompak sebab dia tak nak bayar cukai (he must be heavily insured).

5. FILEM2 MELAYU YANG PALING KELAKAR (not in a positive way)
(they made my home video looks like art)

i. Rahsia Hatiku (1970s)
Sinema Malaysia put the tarikh tayangan sebagai 1959. Kepala otak die ahhh. Citer ni dah tahun 70-an - boleh dilihat dari seluar diorang dan the fact that Sharifah Hanim dah tua sikit dan masih tak pandai berlakon. Almost everybody tak pandai berlakon dan kalau nak tahu apakah itu 'macam kayu' - this movie can be the best reference. Imagine a sick dying kid pura2 batuk every few seconds and go "Kak, saya sakit kak." dengan nada suara yang tak sakit langsung. I don't even know what the plot is all about. It seems that the movie was so mesmerised by the fact that they're in colour, that the only thing colourful in this movie are the clothes, and not the actors. The acting is first and foremost - black and white (range of emotion ges from too happy or too sad and nothing in between)

ii. Cinta Fotokopi (2005)
Here's the art of mengangkang in a movie. You be slutty in an art movie, your sluttiness is an art. But be slutty in a Razak Mohaideen's movie, and the next five years people will only remember you as the poor girl who makes drag queens look more graceful. Zarina AF, I believe, has learned her lesson.

iii. Mendam Berahi (2002)
Where do I start? Rita Rudaini would cringe and burn this movie. Eizlan Yusof would do the same. The model who became actress in this movie? Anybody knows where she is? Poor poor girl. Nothing attracts more laughter than tengok scene di mana the girls merangkak atas pasir pantai di tempat luas terbuka sambil memakai baju askar di siang hari for everybody to see. That is as irrelevant as Pierre Andre bukak tingkap dan bumbung, only to trap the evil inside a bottle dalam "Jangan Pandang Belakang".

6. FILEM ASIA YANG BUAT AKU NAK THROW UP
(practically, bukan literally)

i. Ong-Bak 2 & 3 (Thai)
Ong Bak patut stop pada first movie je. Tony Jaa (who looks like Fizz Fairuz' more muscled twin) can't really act. That's why he finally quit. Those two movies sangat teruk if you remove all the fight scene.

ii. Burn (Thai)
Filem horror thriller yang tak tahu sama ada dia nak jadi horror, thriller, artsy fartsy atau 'based-on-true-story'. Kalau hell itu boleh diterjemahkan - hell would be sitting in a room with cockroaches sambil TV tunjuk filem Burn berulang kali.

iii. Jeritan Kuntilanak (Ind)
The only thing that I can remember horrifying about this movie is the size of Jupe's boobs. It must be hard to act with her and NOT try to look at it.

7. FILEM YANG AKU TENGOK BERKALI2 DAN STILL TAK RASA NAK MUNTAH
(some movies are just classic)

i. Gone with the Wind (1939)
Kalau aku gush about this movie one more time, you guys will puke.

ii. Pride and Prejudice (2005)
Matthew Macfadyen. Looking at him tak pernah membosankan aku, except when he was in "In My Father's Den". Sila kurus balik, Mr Darcy.

iii. The Dark Knight (2008)
Tak perlu penjelasan. It's like trying to explain why the sky is blue or why the Everest is tall.

8. HORROR GEMS
(there's something about the Brits)

i. Eden Lake (2008)
British movie! Seriously, at first I thought "Damn, another crappy horror with shrilly woman protagonist." Wrong. EL sangat gooooood in a sense that bukan sahaja anda rasa terrified, tapi marah and geram at the same time. I mean, if you think teenagers are annoying, wait till you meet teenagers that burn other teenager's head. Damn hooligans.

ii. The Descent (2005)
British movie! Boring first 15 minutes and then suddenly hentaman monsters!!!!! Damn gile. Then movie number 2 keluar and you think "Sequel... blaaah." But no. Hentaman monsters!!!!!! The cave monster is one of my nightmare other than the white thing from "Marebito" dan the red bitch dalam "Kowai Onna".

iii. [REC] (2007)
Spanish movie! Europeans are the best at violence. I mean, benua mana yang paling banyak peperangan? 30 Years of War, 100 Years of War, Perang Dunia, Perang Salib... heck Scandinavians might look like the most peaceful people, but have you read any stories about the Vikings? Norwegians makes good horror too! I mean, if Grecian and Roman gods tak ada kerja lain selain punish people and gaduh sesama sendiri, imagine the people. That's what makes them so good at making horror movies.

9. WHY LEO MAKES ME WANT TO KISS THE SILVER SCREEN
(he needs a malay girl, seriously)

i. Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Biasanya aku tak berapa go sangat dengan filem Spielberg, tapi this one is an exception. Leo made me want to marry a pilot, a doctor or a lawyer. Yes, dalam aturan itu.

ii. Body of Lies (2009)
"He had me at Assalamualaikum"... damn, kalau itu je sebab orang jatuh cinta dengan foreigner, patutlah negara Islam asik kene bom je. Hahahahaha.

iii. The Man In the Iron Mask (1998)
Sebenarnya aku suka filem ni sebab ada Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich. Only years later I thought that hey the dude yang main Titanic and Romeo and Juliet tu sebenarnya boleh tahan gak ye? I used to hate Leo because he was too famous. I mean, do you see me drool over Jay Chou nowadays? That is because he is too darn popular now, liking him is meaningless. I used to like him when he was just a skinny lad from Linkou. who plays mean cello.

10. WHY CHRISTOPHER NOLAN MAKES ME WANT TO KISS THE SILVER SCREEN
(because he's a geunine genius, that's why)

i. Memento (2000)
There is one Aamir Khan movie yang tiru cerita ni (of course "inspired by", because Bolly directors tak pernah rasa diri diorang plagiat). But Memento still the best just because of the narration and technique penceritaan that makes you go "Oooooooowwwww..."

ii. Inception (2010)
Nolan plus Leo plus Page plus Cotillard plus Gordon-Levitt plus Hans Zimmer punya tracks, ini je movie dengan star-studded cast yang aku rasa tak suck big time. Kalau cuma ada Nolan dan Leo je pun aku rasa dah cukup. I am so biased about this movie, I can hit those who think it stupid.

iii. The Dark Knight (2008)
Tak perlu penjelasan.

11. NON-P.RAMLEE MOVIES
(bukan P.Ramlee je yang pandai buat filem in the 60s)

i. Singapura Dilanggar Todak (1961)
Movie ini menunjukkan everything that is wrong with bangsa melayu. I wonder if any of us learn anything from it? Or even watch it?

ii. Anak Buluh Betung  (1966)
It's just so damn cool the fact that buluh tu pregnant with a kid. Hahahahahaha.

iii. Dayang Senandung (1965)
Not to be mistaken with the drama kat TV3, this movie ada Sarimah playing black girl - racist kalau difikirkan... tapi different than DANDAN SETIA (where the girl direbutkan  bila dia putih balik), the prince actually loves Dayang despite her charcoal darkness (maybe sebab dia baca Quran sedap, or maybe sebab putera tu tau behind that colour is actually Sarimah).

12. FAVOURITE MOVIES YANG BUAT AKU RASA MEN ARE SEXIST SEBAB RASA IT'S WEIRD THAT A WOMAN LIKES IT
(sejak bila pulak movies ada gender stratification kan?)

i. Pulp Fiction (1994)
Samuel L. Jackson using the word motherfucker. And great soundtrack. That does it for me. "Say what again. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker." <- donnit sound romantic?

ii. The Godfather (1972)
Satu-satunya filem Marlon Brando yang aku tengok (*cue my dad not approving it. He thinks you should watch all Brando movies*). Aku memang suka dengar cara Sicilian mafia bercakap, that's that. Why do you think I watch BOARDWALK EMPIRE macam orang hisap dadah?

iii. The Magnificent Seven (1960)
Remake of Akira Kurosawa's "7 Samurai" tapi dalam bentuk koboi. Ada Yul Brynner pun dah cukup meyakinkan aku - the sexiest baldy, hands down. Have you seen him play King Mongkut? Damn hot. Kalaulah X-Men wujud tahun tu, Brynner would have been a great Professor X.

13. THE ONLY LIGHT TEEN MOVIES WORTH WATCHING
(Or maybe because I love Tina Fey, Emma Stone and Heath Ledger. I can be biased...)

i. Mean Girls (2004)
"It's just high school." kinda wraps up the whole movie. A conclusion. And the girl who says that she's not a slut but she just has a wide vagina to the principal buat aku tersembur.

ii. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
Adapting "Taming of the Shrew" and casting Heath Ledger as Patrick Verona sudah cukup untuk menjadikan filem ni worth watching, sekalipun the late Heath kata it was not his cup of tea.

iii. Easy A (2010)
I think this is more watchable than "The Scarlett Letter" with Demi Moore.

14. STUPIDEST "ADAPTATIONS"
(don't bother la kalau nak mengarut2)

i. The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)
New Yorkers playin Brits? I rest my case.

ii. The Confession of a Shopaholic (2009)
I just don't understand it. I mean, Sophie Kinsella is one of the writer untuk the movie tapi kenapa it was bad?  Tak chic, lost its tongue-in-cheek, dan jadi sgt cliche.

iii. Bride & Prejudice (2004)
Oyh, don't try untuk Bollywood-kan PNP boleh tak? Aishwarya terlalu cantik untuk jadi Elizabeth dan too preachy jugak. The Bolly songs yang dinyanyikan dalam english sounds teruk gila, apatah lagi Baywatch babes yang menari ala Bollywood di tepi laut. I stil have nightmares about it.


15. MOVIES THAT SPEAKS TO ME
(because it is so damn true!)

i. Particles of Truth (2003)
"I am so bored I'm depressed, I'm so depressed I'm bored." - and that quote from Elster sudah cukup. Cuma sedih je the next big thing for Gale Howard was playing Susan Mayer's lover in "Desperate Housewives". How can you go from POT to THAT?

ii. Stranger Than Fiction (2006)
"Running into your insurance agent the day your policy expires is coincidence. Getting a letter from the Emperor saying he's visiting is a plot. Having your house eaten by a wrecking ball.... is something else entirely."
The movie satisfy me as a writer, a translator, a reviewer and as a person.

iii. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
"I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours."
I just want the machine. I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it.

16. AWARD WINNING MOVIES THAT MADE ME GO "I DON'T GET IT."
(everything is political)

i. The Kids Are All Right (2010)
It's very Hallmark-drama. You turn it gay and suddenly it's award worthy? Script-wise, acting-wise maybe, but the plot is just so-so.

ii. Magika (2010)
I watch it once and I fell asleep. It reminds me of a pantomime I wrote when I was in form 3 about Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup. Goes to show it's a lame idea - I ALREADY DID THIS!!!

iii. Evolusi KL Drift 2 (2010)
I just don't understand anymore, man... It was so Bade meets Yusof Haslam. And it makes me think, how can these kind of movies dapat sampai 7 ke 8 juta? Berapa banyak mat rempit dalam Malaysia ni sebenarnya?