Author of Desperation

Writer : Yours truly

Editor: Nor Hawanis 

Graphic: Hazleza Halidi

Price : RM19.90

Nothing scares a writer more than a new book, especially when the former one had a great year. She will start to think too much into it and worry if people don't like it. But Masni gave me a good advice. She said that no matter how it turned out, no matter if people like it or not, no matter what people say, I have to stay true to myself and what I write, and that I should not think about whether people will like it or not.

Which makes me think, maybe that is why certain indie writers/artists/etc prefer to stay underground rather than go mainstream. It is easier when there is no expectation. I think I worry too much now about what people will think, about reviews and stuff when the reason I started writing was to write what I like and what I want to read and to stay true to that and that alone.

I guess it gets to me too much. I used to be JUST a writer. No media promotion whatsoever. My book is known from words of mouth instead of from paper or the TV. But these past couple of months I have been doing lots of that and somehow the idea of trying to please people gets into my head and plays with my mind. I was also nervous because this is the first time I work with another editor. Before this, Ecah edited all my books and she has been doing the 'anything-goes' style (i.e; "...just let Shai do whatever crap she wants with her writing as long as she will not put me into trouble"). This is also the first time my book is under Grup Buku Karangkraf instead of just Buku Prima. It's dealing with the biggies that gets into my head.

I think the moment I turn my blog into my professional blog and my NSK fb into a professional account, I started to realise that my books are actually read and get feedbacks from people in Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei. Oyh, stress alert. Thinking too much. Must eat.

Oh, my interview with Majalah RAPI will be in stores 15 May. Again, I will be attending booksigning on 24th with my dearest sister, Zara Amani and I will be there on 23rd to see my old podnuh-in-crime Kak Siti Rosmizah launch her new book and just check on Dhuha and Liza while I am at it.  

Hey, do you think if I write in the US, Leonardo Dicaprio will read it? Hahahahaha. Berangan.