Of relationships and flirtations

These past few weeks, I have listen to many opinions about relationships. It is weird because most of them are telling me to keep a guy waiting and anticipating.

It reminds me of an episode of HIMYM (what? You use HIMYM as your textbook now?). I mean, Ted was telling his children about hooking someone. He was hooked by a girl who kept using him whenever she is lonely, while he himself hooked another girl to keep waiting for him hands and foot. It is one giant circle. 

And I don't think it is fair. Why do you hook someone to you and use them whenever you want and make them think there is something between the two of you? For me relationship should be something that is entered when both individual found love, not forced to find or not find at all but just keep cruising on "just in case". Friendship maybe, but relationship filled with flirtations?

Have you ever been the person who was hooked? Or the person who saw how it did to the person who got hooked? I have. I have been both. I have been the hooked, the one who keeps hoping and being promised of hope but in the end didn't get what she hoped. It hurts so bad and I never want to do it to anybody. I also have been the person looking at a person getting hooked. It hurts me too because they will come to me with such pain, although at the same time it annoys me so, thinking that why is it people always want something they can't have and then get hurt and find me to comfort them, get healed and chase the same thing all over again like they never learned anything at all?

I would rather be friends with people without giving hope or breeding hope. People's feeling is not a plaything. It is not something for you to just play with when you are bored or when you're lonely. I don't think all of us wanted to be in that position at all. To me, words means a lot. It's not only because I am a writer but it is also because I am a normal human being with feelings.

Like I say before, jodoh and all those things are about clicking. You don't let people tailing behind you just as a spare-part just in case you won't find someone better. You should let them be free with their feelings and if in the meantime, they found someone else, they will not have to think twice about breaking up or making the wrong decisions or getting stuck in a dead-end relationship.

I have a friend who is stuck in a marriage with a guy she didn't love and whom she marries because she thinks that's how to resolve a problem when you are heartbroken.

I have a friend who marries someone he didn't love because of the same thing, always thinking about the one who got away.

It is always about them and never about the person they hurt, who they think of as the 'excess baggage' - how those people feel when they are considered just the 'supporting cast' when the real 'hero' or 'heroin' cannot be found. As someone who always be the person behind the screen - thinking and perceiving, it disgusts me.

Be honest with people. If you think of them as friends, say it. If you really love them, say it. Don't dilly-dally or  saying maybes and make them wait for you. Be someone's investment, not someone's gamble. The first is a person with knowledge, the second is just selfishness. If you can't promise anything to someone, just be a friend. No flirtation, no saying sweet nothings. Just straight-up friends.

And that is how I roll.

*** heck if u dun understand what I am saying, menjadi pelaburan seseorang ialah pastikan orang tu tau yang masa dia luangkan dengan kau tu akan membuahkan sesuatu suatu hari nanti. Menjadi perjudian seseorang ialah membiarkan orang tu meluangkan masanya untuk kau tapi sebenarnya kemungkinan dia untuk dapat kau tu adalah sangat tipis.  

Santai Bersama...

That is all I can say. If you are going to watch it tomorrow, whatever it is, well, in my defense... I drank too much teh panas before that. Hahahahahaha. 

Will talk about this later on. Got a novel I have to finish in two days. Frakks.

I AND EFF PEED

I went out today.

It was freedom in the best sense. 

Okay, so memang aku dah selalu keluar. Tapi kali ni macam satu freedom yang lain machammmm. Padahal takla ke mana sangat pun. Pergi Semua House, tengok2 barang kawin... nope, not me... just temankan Mun beli barang catering dia. Shoot, barang2 kat Semua House memang sangat best. It makes you wanna get married just so you can buy those stuff. 

Then pergi beli steam iron and buat lawak fasal mannequins kat situ. Certain mannequins look so life-like while some of the others look just so-so and even to a point of retarded. Then pergi KK HomeDeco sebab Mun nak beli ranting kayu.... Yes, you read that right. 

Whatever pounnnnnssss...

Selain daripada menjadi one of my bestfriends, Mun juga someone yang easy to talk to and inspire aku menulis. We almost always experience things at the same time dan even melalui terrible breakups at the same time so banyak yang aku cuba sampaikan atau yang aku rasa, Mun akan faham dan vice versa. And being someone of the INFJ type, she kinda caters to my need for food of thoughts, me being an INFP and all. SO biasanya keluar lepak2 dengan Mun inspire me with my work as a novelist. Even certain stuff yang I wrote in my books datang dari Mun, like one of the quotes yg my readers think memorable:

"Tak nak menyakitkan hati orang sampai menyakitkan hati..."

Bila aku keluar with friends, that is what I need. I need the ability for the other person to counter argue or refute my words. I also need the person to listen to me and not jump into my words before I finish them so that I can present my thoughts. Usually when people jump at my words before I finish them, I ended up just agreeing with them because I'm just too lazy to debate it again.

So yeah, usually aku just join any of Mun's working trip (ke tempat2 aneh macam kilang plastik, kedai perabot, gudang barang borong, kilang buat papan tanda, syarikat percetakan) because that gives me more inspiration in my writing than anythin else. 

Anyways. What is INFP? 

INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities.

INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--her own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse:

"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..." (the Skin Horse)

INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.

Rest you, my enemy,
Slain without fault,
Life smacks but tastelessly
Lacking your salt!
Stuck in a bog whence naught
May catapult me,
Come from the grave, long-sought,
Come and insult me!
--(Steven Vincent Benet, Elegy for an Enemy)

Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response:

"I say, Queequeg! Why don't you speak? It's I--Ishmael." But all remained still as before. ... Something must have happened. Apoplexy!
... And running up after me, she caught me as I was again trying to force open the door. ... "Have to burst it open," said I, and was running down the entry a little, for a good start, when the landlady caught me, again vowing I should not break down her premises; but I tore from her, and with a sudden bodily rush dashed myself full against the mark.--(Melville, Moby Dick)

Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale,Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

HIT IT

This is the 4th week aku tak ke mana-mana except untuk pergi mencari duit, bertemu lawyer atau untuk kesihatan badan (like attending press screening and conference di Mid Valley atau berjogging di FRIM). Sebenarnya bila dah lama tak keluar ni aku rasa kerja aku banyak yang siap.

Novel dah siap, tapi kena tambah 100 page lagi bagi cukup, so in theory dah siap la, cuma kena tambah baru boleh bagi editor.

Tapi tahun ni memang dimulakan dengan kesibukan. Aku kena ubah mentality. Tahun lepas aku perlukan banyak  fresh air sebab nak counter that whole legal suit drama and hutang issues yang berlaku pada awal tahun. I mean, I had a rough 6 months of my life, I needed the other 6 to refresh myself.

Now I'm refreshed and ready to get back to work. Lepas siap novel ni, aku ada sekuel AKN yang aku nak buat, then projek Zara Amani/Liza Nur, selain one more novel and a teen book. Termasuk itu juga adalah kerja freelance aku yang lain - my press previews, my shirt stories yang Kak Eton dah tanya (dah lama gila tak menulis cerpen untuk DBP) dan juga kerja subtitling. Tahun ni jugak aku nak start buat transcribing, insya Allah.

Gotta widen them expertise, man. A girl gotta live.

Tahun ni kalau nak buat aktiviti pun aku nak carik things yg can make me sweat - stuff like hiking, joging, rafting, boating, climbing. Lepas jog kat Kepong arituh aku sedar aku punya stamina mengalahkan orang ada sakit kanser paru-paru. It's so damn bad. I told Mun I am a 27 year old who thinks like a 35 year old, looks like a 23 year old with a stamina of a 62.

Damn bad.

Tahun ni umur saya 28 tahun. And to tell you the truth, I really like the number. It sounds so lean and mean and spells CAREER. Member aku tanya sama ada aku baru putus cinta ke, tetibe je serius gila fasal career. Taklah. That was 2008-2009. It's 2011 now, it's the year of the clacking (the sound of heels). I just want to be a SALI.

(aku dah bekerja sepanjang malam ke siang, energy aku is over the roof)

Entah kenapa in the end ia menjadi Leonardo DiCaprio

Aku main tag je sekarang sebab jawab soalan lagi mudah dari create tajuk sendiri. Aku Kan Malas.

Cara-cara: Copy Tajuk entry “sepuluh” dan paste di post anda..

Sila jawab dengan jujur..

[#1] Siapakah diri anda di rumah?
Orang yang selalu end up saying "Ah, screw it." Dulu rajin nak berdebat atau bertekak. Tapi sejak akhir2 ni aku rasa kalau aku bertekak dengan orang tua atau adik-beradik pasal hal2 bodo cam nak tengok TV, dahla buang masa, berdosa plak tu. Baik aku buat kerja je.

[#2] Siapakah diri anda disamping rakan?
Manalaaaa aku tau. Pi la tanya kengkawan aku. Mungkin "Ah, screw it' jugak kot. Entah.

[#3] 5 benda yang anda idamkan tetapi masih belum tercapai
1. Menang kes. Or even kes difailkan di mahkamah. File the case, man!

2. Kedai buku di Prague. Heck, bukak kedai buku kat Mesia pon belum tercapai, apatah lagi kedai buku kat Prague.

3. Royalty RM30,000. Hahahaha. You just can't be cult and achieve that much. You're not Sam Raimi.

4. Novel diadaptasi jadi filem oleh Dir. Wan Hasliza. Yes, THAT specific. I'd rather not be adapted at all if Razak Mohaideen wants it.

5. Dapat Pullitzer Prize. Hahahahahahaha. Heck, people only get Pullitzer if they question their own religion and tradition in the way the west likes. I'm not gonna sell myself out.

[#4] Siapakah nama pasangan anda? 
Leonardo Di Caprio............................. =_=

[#5] Ceritakan 5 perkara yang anda paling suka tentang pasangan anda
1. The Man in the Iron Mask
2. Gangs of New York
3. Revolutionary Road
4. Catch Me If You Can
5. Inception
(Best kan 5 perkara aku tu... hahaha)

[#6] Bila tarikh anda couple?
The day I saw him in "The Man in the Iron Mask".

[#7] Apakah kenangan pahit anda bersama pasangan anda?
The day he became too popular in that stupid Titanic movie.

[#8] Lagu tema cinta anda?
Lagu tema Inception. Hahahahah.

[#9] Apa perubahan yang ingin anda lihat dari pasangan anda?
Nothing. You're so amazing, just the way you areeeeee (Bruno Mars)

How I Met HIMYM

I spent the whole day watching HIMYM Season 5.

Something Ted Mosby said makes a lot of sense to me.
"When people experience a breakup, there are only two ways they use to cope. Some, focus on their career. The other half, focus on more mindless relationship." (rephrase)

That is why I love HIMYM so much. It is different from FRIENDS or any other ensemble sitcoms. If you are used to reading my books, you would know I make loads of theories about life. My type of women theories, my type of people you might meet in the college theories, my relationship theories, and my heartbreak stage theory (oh, that will only be revealed in the new book... sorry about that). So to watch something that has the same feel to what I write is really2 great.

For example, Barney. Yes, he is a chauvinist and should be hated, but serrrriously, his theories about women are so funny I just had to laugh and love the dude.

LIST OF HIMYM QUOTES THAT I LOVE

Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward. (TED MOSBY)

The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do. They'll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life. You have to take action. And you will! But never forget, that on any day, you could step out the front door, and your whole life could change forever. You see the Universe has a plan kids; and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It's a scary thought, but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working... Making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be.. exactly when you're supposed to be there. The right place. At the right time
(TED MOSBY)

It's funny...when you date someone, you're taking one long course on who that person is, and when you break up, all of that stuff is useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree.
(TED MOSBY)

Ted! Look: our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness! Not the "sit-around-and-wait" of happiness! Now if you want, you can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day, *or*, you can *lick* the Liberty Bell! You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it!
(BARNEY STINSON)

Ted, dude! I had this whole thing where the Golden Rule is "Love Thy Neighbor", so bear with me, okay? You know the Golden Rule, but what you don't know is that there's a rule above it, The Platinum Rule: You can love your neighbor, but under no circumstances do you ever, ever, ever, ever *love* thy neighbor.
(BARNEY STINSON)

If I could nail any celebrity, it would have to be Scarlett Johansson. She's hot, she's talented, and any woman who does that many Woody Allen movies has to have major daddy issues.
(BARNEY STINSON)

Ted: You know what? I'm done being single, I'm not good at it. Look, obviously you can't tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can't. I'll tell you something though, if a woman, not you, just some hypothetical woman, were to bear with me through all this, I think I'd make a damn good husband, because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser...
Robin: Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.
Ted: Oh, I've got references.

There's 9 million people in New York. 4.5 million women. Of course, you want to meet someone roughly your own age - let's say plus, minus 5 years. So if you take into account the most recent census data that leaves us with 482,000 women. But wait! 48% of those are already in relationships and then you have to eliminate half for intelligence, sense of humor and compatibility. And then you have to take out the ex girlfriends and the relatives. And, oh, you can't forget those lesbians. And then that leaves us with 8 women.

OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not. And dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this; my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?
(LILY ALDRIN)

Ted: Barney, I'm starting to think about that theory.
Barney: Ted, if you want to know how old a woman is check her elbows.
Ted: Not that theory.
Barney: Oh, you have to be more clear. I have so many theories.

Ted: Okay, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I'm waiting for it to happen and I guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.
Stella: You know how I talked my way out of a speeding ticket?
Ted: Really?
Stella: I was heading upstate with my parents, I was doing 90 on the country roads. I got pulled over. So this cop, gets out of his car, swaggers over and he says, 'Lady, I've been waiting for you all day.' And I said, 'Sorry Officer, I got here as fast as I could.'
Ted: For real?
Stella: No, it's just a joke. [pause] I know that you're tired of waiting. And you may have to wait a little while more but, she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.

Let's talk about food

Survey fasal makanan. My most favourite kind of tagging game. Ahahahaha

1. namakan 3 makanan yang korang paling suka dan bagi spesifik nama makanan tersebut dan da way u like it

a) Nasi dengan ikan keli goreng minyak berlada OR asam pedas ikan patin, ayam goreng kunyit, kerabu mangga, daun selum, sambal tempoyak. Pehhhhh....

b) Gua salmon lover. Salmonella betol. Huhu.

c) Lambchopppppppp~

(makanan2 itu punca aku kene jogging dengan jitu sekarang).

2. jenis air apa yang korang paling suka?

a) Ice blended chocolate stall kuning pasar ahad stadium shah alam.

b) jus apple + limau + kedondong

c) floats. mi lovs floatttts...

3. which type of food yang korang paling prefer? pilih 3 : malay, chinese, japanese, western, italian, mexican or arabian?

Malay. Japanese. Italian. Atau lebih dikenali sebagai pakej Awang Takeshi Corleone.

4. apa makanan yang korang paling expert masak? dalam kata lain takyah tengok resipi tapi at da same time bila orang lain rasa orang lain akan kata..."wah, sedap gila~!!"

Nak suruh aku angkuh ke apa? Biasanya baked or steam stuff. Aku tak suka menggoreng. Yes, even after 27 years, I still hate oil. So people usually love my baked salmon with cheddar, my meatballs with parmesan, jacket potato, my quezo balls tapas, plum cake, chocolate moist cake, talapia kukus ala Wong-style. Nobody liked my cinnamon rolls. Even I hate them. Keras berdenting boleh buat baling anjing.

5. semahal mana korang bayar makanan korang?

Paling mahal aku pernah makan ialah bento salmon variety Sushi King harga RM25. Aku tak makan lebih mahal dari tu. Kepala hotak ah. Makan nasik lagi kenyang and lagi murah.

6. beri nama restoren feveret. apa nama makanan paling sedap kat situ.

Restoran Nasi Lemak Cinta Sayang Section 7 Shah Alam has the best nasi lemak kukus.

Naluri Cafe Section 9 Shah Alam has the best tacos.

Western Food Junction Mid Valley the best lambchop and salmon skillet spaghetti

Kafe Suka2 Catering has the best ayam kunyit

Ruby's Cafe Matrics IIUM, SS17 PJ has the best ikan keli berlada

Restoran Munawwarah, Sect 9 Shah Alam the best chinese food 

Gerai Asam Pedas Melaka UNITEN the best asam pedas ikan patin.

HAJIME Ampang makes the best sushis

7. ayam, kambing, lembu, itik, burung puyuh, burung wak2, landak, ayam denak, mana satu yang korang suka? kalo ada lain yang korang suka aku tak list korang bitau jelah.

Kambing la. There's a reason the prophet loves it so much. Kambing eats 99 types of grass (although I am not sure a goat realises that it eats 99 types of grass) and when you feel hot after eating it, be reminded that it means that the meat is working its way in detoxing your body. Makan kambing. Good for your health. Jangan baham macam rimau dah la.

8. restoren/cafe pertama korang dating bersama pasangan anda. dan makan minum apa? kalo korang ingatla..

Pfft.

9. apa makanan yang selalu remind korang terhadap pasangan korang. kenapa?

.....................

10. kalo korang pergi rumah orang, korang harap tuan rumah tu hidang apa?

Coklat Ferrero Rocher. Hahahahahahaha.

11. makanan yang korang tak boleh telan langsung..samada tak sedap or tekak korang dah kembang..

Bahagian dalaman. Paru I can accept but otak? hati? jantung? limpa? Yucks....

12. menu raya paling disukai?

rendang ayam uwan yang masih basah lagi. Uwan suka rendangnya kering, so sebelum it gets too dry, makcik will angkat separuh because we hate the dry ones. "Aiyo, ghondang minang kono la koghing!!!" bebel uwan.

13. jajan or cekedis feveret?

Pringles, Cottage Fries, Chachos, Rocky perasa strawberry. Dulu suka Super Ring, sekarang dah muak. Hahaha.

14. beri 2 makanan yang emak korang masak korang suka.

Mak makes this one weird lauk that is between rendang, kari and gulai lemak. It's like her specialty and she creates it herself. We love em.

The other one would be rendang la. Rendang puyuh. Pehhhh, terangkat.

15. makanan paling pedas korang makan..sapa masak?

Masa form 2, Kak Sal bawak soto yang makcik dia masak. Pale otak punye pedas. Makcik dia letak cili akar instead of cili api, which makes it even harder. I mean, cili akar beb. That's like 2/3 of a habanero.

16. kalo korang jumpa orang yang tag ni apa yang korang nak beli/belanja?

Belanja amende. Haktuih la.

Ole La Carnivale

Yeahhhh... ignore my past entry. I was under stressed mode after the 15th time repeating the same thing to people asking where the hell is my book. Yes, when you have exceeded not just deadline but also have hundreds of pages to go in the midst of bosses not yet paid you and jobs not coming in, you will snap.

But anyways.

After the entry, I have found a way to tell people how to find my book. It's called:

"Mencari novel"

Yeah, it's not really much of a title. Hahaha. But I realised readers are keen on sharing the location of the book. So the next time you can't find a novel, you can just shout at Facebook "I AM LOOKING FOR PLAIN JANE" or "SAYA MENCARI SOALNYA HATI" and we will locate them together. It is better if we do it more precise, like "SAYA MENCARI SOALNYA HATI DI SHAH ALAM" atau "I AM LOOKING FOR AKU KAN NOVELIS DI AREA WANGSA MAJU".

And if I get an info where to find it, I will tell you guys too.

But for now:

You can find all of my books, and also other writers' book here. Lotsa thing happenin at the Karnival. Last year I bought one whole grilled chicken and Nad took a pic with her family at the photography booth. 

Di mana PLAIN JANE?

Masalah menulis aku nombor satu ialah mood.

Mood menulis aku datang dengan statement royalti.

Ya, memang menulis itu satu passion dan hobi. Tapi bila anda bekerja bebas, passion dan hobi anda akan tertumpu kepada statement yang anda dapat setiap 3 bulan itu. Sama macam orang kerja di pejabat. Kalau gaji mereka RM1000 bila mereka ada sarjana, anda tidak boleh meminta mereka membuat kerja-kerja tambahan secara percuma. Anda akan mendapat hasil kerja yang sama nilainya dengan RM1000.

Bila statement sampai dan tidak menunjukkan jumlah yang baik, sebagai seorang penulis anda tidak ada semangat nak menulis. Buat apa? Baik buat kerja bebas lain yang sah-sah akan memberikan anda wang dari mengerjakan sesuatu yang tak pasti kan? (huh, kerja selalu siap lambat ada hati nak membebel.)

Kemudian mood datang kembali bila ramai yang bertanya tentang novel terbaru.

Senang kata, tenaga aku adalah pembaca, dan kryptonite aku adalah komen tentang buku yang tidak ada di pasaran - yang mana aku rasa menjadi penyebab kenapa statement royalty aku menunjukkan jumlah yang (tidak) tertera di atasnya.

Contohnya, aku periksa ONLINE STORE MPH. Aku taip nama aku. Senarai online store MPH hanya mengeluarkan tajuk SOALNYA HATI dan AKU KAN NOVELIS, seolah-olah aku tidak pernah menulis PLAIN JANE.

PLAIN JANE menjadi masalah besar bagi aku. Ramai yang bertanya tentang Plain Jane dan betapa susahnya mereka nak menemui tajuk tu di kedai buku. Lalu aku bertemu dengan pekedai yang aku kenali di PKNS dan aku tahu dia selalu menjual buku aku. Belum sempat aku tanya pada Mak Cik Kamsiah, dia tanya pada aku, "Tak ada buku lain ke yang keluar selain Soalnya Hati?"
"Ada dua, mak cik. Mak cik tak dapat ke?"
"Tak, diorang hantar buku-buku yang ada dekat display tu jela. Mak cik tak tau buku apa yang terbaru, jadi apa yang diorang hantar, itu jela yang mak cik jual."

Aku terkejut, walhal masa tu buku aku yang ketiga baru tiga bulan masuk pasaran. Maksudnya, masa PLAIN JANE baru keluar, mak cik Kamsiah tak dapat buku tu, dan masa AKU KAN NOVELIS baru keluar pun hal yang sama juga?

Susah untuk aku terangkan pada pembaca bila mereka tanya mana PLAIN JANE. Kalau soalan itu ditanyakan masa buku tu dah dua tahun keluar mungkin aku boleh jawab susah nak jumpa di pasaran sebab dah lama. Tapi soalan mana PLAIN JANE ni dah ditanya sejak buku tu baru keluar pada tahun 2008. Kalau memang tak laku, aku boleh accept. Tapi kalau aku kumpul soalan mana PLAIN JANE ni dari tahun 2008 sampai sekarang, aku rasa cukup dah untuk buat PLAIN JANE dicetak lagi sekali. Dan kalau aku nak promosikan PLAIN JANE, bergunakah kalau ia masih tak dipamerkan di kedai buku?

Aku pun letih juga nak meminta pembaca lakukan perkara yang sama yakni pergi cakap sendiri dengan orang kedai yang mereka nak PLAIN JANE sebab aku juga seorang pembaca dan aku tahu corak pembaca ni macam mana. Kalau aku nak sesebuah buku tu, dan aku tak jumpa buku tu, aku akan tanya orang kedai. Orang kedai akan cari dan kata buku tu tak ada atau dah habis. Lepas tu aku akan beli buku lain. Sekalipun aku nak berfikiran romantik bahawa orang ke kedai buku atas tujuan nak beli PLAIN JANE and kalau tak ada diorang akan buat demonstrasi besar2an dalam kedai, hakikatnya tidak.

Kalaupun aku kata aku NAKKKKK juga PLAIN JANE, dan aku beritahu orang kedai, orang kedai tu cuma pekerja biasa. Kalau aku pekerja biasa, aku tak ada tekak nak pedulik sama ada buku tu ada atau tak, asalkan gaji aku berbayar tiap bulan. Pedulik apa kalau kedai tu maju ke tak ke, bukannya aku yang kaya, betul tak? (macam tulah pemikiran bebudak lepasan SPM yang kerja di kedai buku). Lagipun apa ke hal aku nak peduli pasal sebijik buku bila aku jual beribu-ribu buah buku yang lain, kan?

(Mungkin aku patut sasarkan Kalashnikov di dahi pengurus kedai?)

Jadi bagaimana PLAIN JANE nak terjual?

Soalan Chaq semalam:
"Buku ko laris sangat ke sampai aku tak jumpa kat mana-mana kedai?"
"Pfft. I wish."

Aku tak kisah jadi cult writer. Aku suka jadi penulis yang tidak begitu difahami atau diminati umum. Ia buat aku rasa macam Jennifer Elster dan bukan Michael Bay. Hahahahahaha. Tapi biarlah ia kerana pengikut aku memang sedikit, bukan disedikitkan.

Aku juga dah jadi macam fellow writer yang lain, penulis pesta buku. Buku hanya boleh  dijumpai di pesta buku. Kasihan kami ini.

2010 - in an epic proportion (Partos Uno)

Friends asked me why I haven't written an entry/summary of my 2010 experience or even one on resolutions.

Well.
a) I don't have any resolution. I have resoluted, no I have resolved, no, determinedddd that I will not make any of those dumb dumb things. If I have had any in the past years or so, that was me being romantic. We got past that already.

b) Do you really want to hear about my 2010? 2010 was the worst year of my life. Hands down. Except for those moments after my KK trip, the whole of it was a fiesta de la destruccion. Oyh. It starts with:

i. Finding out that the franchisor got no license. Ironically, I got the Houston-we-got-a-problem thing AFTER I quit from my freelancing work with CO. That was the moment I realised that God has a sense of humour.

ii. The domino effect that came after. Okay let's put it the way my good friend Ismah did:

JANUARY
It starts with "Dude, which part of we're not in any way associated anymore do you not understand" event. It was friggin mind blowing. I mean, I can't have a... how do you put it in words... 'an unmutual understanding of acquaintanceship' at the same time when I have a business issue. You can't make me have both personal and career dilemma all at the same time. It was nonsense. And having friends who keep telling you stuff you don't want to know is another thing. I mean why would I want to hear about other people's girlfriend now, when I have a T-Rex-size of a business problem that involves RM80,000 going down the drain in my head?  I had no where to turn to except back to the One. Only He knows how much tears I have shed and of how many times I asked Him to give me amnesia. Hahaha (it was not funny then).

FEBRUARY
Agent called and asked when we'll be paying our rent. Oh you know, the rent for those two lots we should be using for our kindergarten? Yeah, the RM1800 a month times two. It was the start of a beautiful hostile relationship between me and my cellphone. I had to scrape of RM3600 from my own account to pay the rent.  Yes, scraping money when you don't have them is like scraping the blackboard with your nails. It hurts so bad, I would say even heartbreak doesn't feel that painful. Lawyer said that we have to wait for 2 months according to the agreement for their part to mend the issue and thus we can't let go of the rental for fear that we had to go on with it. What mending? We want off. And maybe OFF WITH THEIR FRANCHISING HEADS!!!!!

MARCH
Cellphone rang every day. I think until today, I am still paranoid every time I heard Muse's "Undisclosed Desire". It was my ringtone at the time specifically dedicated for the agent. And I had to scrape another RM1800, which was my pay for translation of the month - where I work every single day and even back at home on Saturdays and Sundays. I found another RM800 and beg my friends to try get the other RM1000 so that I can live peacefully for another week before agent attacks again. Got a letter from the franchisor. Was so scared they found a solution, but instead they deny all claims. Assholes.
Swee Wei called and told me how she missed going to Singapore with me now that I have resigned and start with my business. I told her the whole ordeal and she was so excited (yeah, you have to be cruel to be kind) because it means that I can do reviews again. Ex-editor called the next day and give me my old job back. At that precise moment I just wanna die.
Lawyer sent termination letter to franchisor. We had until late next month before it finalised.

APRIL
Nad delivered a good news. Not THAT great because it was a news that she will borrow money from her dad to pay March's rental. Mun came up with the idea that we sell stuff from the kindergarten to pay for April's rental. Took pictures of stuff and then post it at Mudah. It was not mudah at all. Wordplay! I finally found the guts to call the owner and told them we had to stop renting. Found out that they are the kindest people you will ever meet, the Wongs and the Foos. They made everything easier with one condition - that they don't want to have anything to do in court. Hahaha. I made that promise. Signed sealed delivered.

MAY
Start to clean up the mess. Had to sell the doors and the fans to get extra money to pay for stuff. For mypart, a lot of papers and letters and phone calls with the bank I had to do in order to get rid of all this pieces of the horrifying puzzle. We finally signed off the deal. No more rentals.
Dinie called and wanted to have a karaoke session. And that was the start of another chapter.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Kita Tag sebab Kita Malas.

Ya, saya pemalas. Saya malas nak tulis blog betul-betul, jadi saya buat tag sahaja. Ini satu berita yang baik sebenarnya, sebab ia menunjukkan saya tak menggunakan thinking time saya untuk perkara lain kecuali menulis novel. Encik Glen juga sudah semakin berhabuk kerana tidak dipetik (apatah lagi dengan tali tangsi yang berpura2 macam ia tali gitar sebenar itu), dan saya masih ada 150 page lagi untuk ditulis sebelum boleh menghantar novel kepada publisher saya. Sasaran terbaru: Hantar masa Karnival Karangkraf (hooo, korang balas dendam kat aku sebab tak siapkan novel, so tak ajak aku pergi yeeee.... akakaka).

Baik. Tag Time.

3 names in your message in your message inbox
Oh msg inbox NSK amatla rahsia. Maka kita guna msg inbox Shai Laden.
1. Mohd Khairul Farhan yang bertanyakan novel terbaru saya.
2. Masyitah Zainuddin yang tanya bila saya nak turun Kelana Jaya
3. Jismin Yusoff yang mintak no akaun MBB saya

your main ringtone

Liyana Fizi's "TEDUH"

what u did at 12 last night?

Menulis novel sambil chatting dengan Mun fasal makanan, jogging dan kenapa aku kena minta maaf dengan Fer.

who was the last person you went out with?where?

Mun jugak. Pergi carik running shoes di GIANT tapi last2 beli sushi. Pastu singgah The Mall di KL carik kasut lagi tapi Mun je yg beli, aku last2 beli ice blended corn kat Nelson's and solat Zohor. Pergi jumpa lawyer di Ampang. Pastu singgah makan di Mr Teppanyaki di Carrefour Wangsa Maju dan menemui kasut untuk aku. Then gi FRIM di Kepong untuk berjogging dan solat Asar & Maghrib di sana. Pastu balik rumah dan tulis novel. Lengkap perjalanan hidup aku Isnin lepas.  

the colour of t-shirt you're wearing now

Black. Because my father's car is Black!

the last thing you did

Menulis novel dan membebel tentang Food Court Desa Sri Hartamas yang dah demolished yang menyebabkan aku terpaksa rombak satu chapter.

3 of your everyday favourite items

1. Encik V - Sony VAIO E Series.

2. Nokia Xpress Music yang dah rabak. Sekali pandang macam Two-Face dalam bentuk telefon bimbit. Dua kali pandang, macam The Joker pon ye jugak. Sedih btol situasi telefon bimbit aku. Tapi dah tak jadi feveret item sgt. Asik kacau orang.

3. Berus gigi berteknologi Nano yang berharga lima hengget. 

the colour of your bedroom

Pudar. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

how much money in your wallet now?

RM20. Aku biarkan je. Kang aku tambah isik wallet tu tau2 je tinggal RM20 balik. Baik jangan tambah.

how's life?

Boringly amazing. Or amazingly boring. Take a guess.

your favourite song

There's a reason my ringtone is a Liyana Fizi's song. 

what will you do next weekend

Same ol same ol routine until this damnation called new novel siap.

when was the last time you see your mum?

*Pandang mak* 0.01 seconds ago.

where is she now?

Tengah tengok sinetron. Biarkan.

when was the last time you talk to your parents?

"Mak!"

"Hmm?"
"Takde. Saja panggil."
A seconds ago.

who is the last person that talked with you last night?

My brother, who tries to tell me something about his new girlfriend, in which I don't care, because he will end up breaking up with her in 6 months time. 

the last surprise you got?

Just now.

"Dik?"
"Apa?"
"Ko saja2 panggil mak, mak saja2 panggil ko balikla."

last thing you borrowed from your friend?

Pinjam tudung Dinie untuk pergi wedding. Pehh, gile lama aku tak meminjam.

Who is your bf/gf/husband/wife?

Not interested at the moment.

what do you feel right now?

sleepy

wanna share with who?

share what? MY sleepiness? I don't share.

who know your secret?

My bestest bestfriends

they keep your secret?

They better be

are you angry with someone?

I am suing them, so...

what do you order at Mc'D?

Double cheese. Saya tak suka sangat makan McD sebenarnya. Ramly burger is the best.

The last time you feel so sad?

Malas nak ingat. Citer lama.

Mahu Tag?

Tiada sesiapa kok, nek.