Pokes at Puns before the Rising of the Sun

Here are some of my stupid jokes... yes, I know... I'm sorry, but it's 5am and my mind always runs around at 5am thinking stupid puns. I'd rather share it with people. I wanna make em FB stats, but then again it's boring when you get the wrong feeds:-

How to detect a stupid person? Try asking their opinion about Anesthesia and they will tell you that they haven't heard the new album yet.

"Pro Bono" means professional work undertaken voluntarily and without payment as a public service. For me, it just means you love U2.

Yes, the "Devil May Cry" if he watches "Resident Evil 4".

A normal person would know that a candy striper is a volunteer at the hospital. A pervert would think it's a stripper named Candy.

"in loco parentis" - in Common Law means, "the legal responsibility of a person/org to take some functions of a parent". In Shai's Law, it just means I am living within the proximity of a crazy parent.

A bird in hand, worth two in the bushes........ isn't that something a prostitute would say?

You should never marry a girl who thinks being called "La Conchita" is a praise. She may be ignorant of the meaning in which it means she's naive, or she might knew the meaning and just think it IS a praise, which means she's a slut.

My dad was upset that for a polsc grad, I can't differenciate a roundhead, a jarhead and a squarehead. I'm not sorry for it though. I'm a bighead.

What SM Nasarudin and a bank have in common? They both have money. And they both have "Caunter". (Oyh, this is my lamest pun ever)

A friend in need is a friend in debt.

Is it called 'hypothermia' because only hippopotamus can stay in water THAT long?

Adam is the first man of existence. The first man in the world. The ultimate. The purest of all man. Try telling that to Lambert.

What doesn't kill you, will only increase your hospital bill.

"A boob" means an idiot. "To boob something" means to make a mistake. That is why a boobjob always makes a woman looks stupider.

Never marry a man who thinks that a woman should only knows how to cook. They are the ones who only knows how to eat.