Cover novel is out and I have been staring at it

So, as you all might have already known... or not... I am not sure actually... but... the sequel to AKU KAN NOVELIS will be out in April.

Semalam Buku Prima baru keluarkan cover and it looks like this:

Roul ada dreadlock? Nope. Just model hiasan semata-mata.

Ramai yang cakap kat aku "Kak, nape rambut Roul tak merah?"... tapi sebenarnya aku tak kisah pun pasal gambar lelaki dreadlock tu kat situ walaupun dah macam bekas opismet aku dah rupenye. Ahahaha. I think it's cool that the designer really committed to making it as close as I hope it would be.

Aku bagi tiga suggestions. Aku tak ingat one of them, but the other two is gambar perempuan with pen melirik ke belakang, and satu lagi gambar lelaki rambut panjang with jeans dari pandangan belakang tengah menghadap lukisan, you know, as if he was painting or thinking of things to paint. Though it wasn't sama sebijik macam aku cadangkan, it still has all the elements I asked for - a scruffy guy and a painting.

And hey, look. My name is bigger than the title. Yay! (sebenarnya memang mana2 penulis yang dah ada lebih lima buah buku dengan BP akan dapat font besar by the sixth book. Takyah poyo sangat, Shai. Ko takde la glemer mana...)

Kudos to the designer. I think last time aku tanya editor aku, tak silap aku dia kata designernya Nina (the same person who did SEKOLAH BANYAK PENUNGGU punya cover design). Dan kali ni editor aku bukan Che Puan Echah (yang edit Plain Jane dan Aku Kan Novelis sebelum ni), bukan Anis (yang edit Valentina Nervosa), atau Encik Ali (yang edit 3 Hati).

Editor aku kali ni ialah Sue, which is the person who edited my first book - SOALNYA HATI. So senang kata, I am just returning to day one.

And I like covers. I think I've said it berkali-kali. Aku sangat suka cover novel. Setiap kali lepas siap tulis novel, benda pertama yang paling aku tunggu-tunggu ialah cover novel. Adakalanya aku lupa pasal royalti atau pasal sign agreement. Aku sibuk tunggu cover keluar. Saya hantu cover. There. I said it.

Aku nak reminisce tentang pengalaman menulis AKU KELIRU! tapi sebab buku belum keluar lagi, aku akan save bebelan dan ucapan-ucapan syahdu tentang pengalaman menulis some other time. Right now, I am just going to stare at my book cover sampai muntah darah. Teehee.

Again, it will be out in April. Sebab buku aku salu keluar April. Jangan salah faham. Bukan BP lebihkan aku or anything (kalau BP lebihkan aku dari penulis lain, I would have been living in a bungalow right now... ahahaha). It's just that aku usually hantar manuskrip baru pada bulan Jun/Julai/Ogos. And usually by that time, the latter half of the year punya jadual dah penuh, and most of the earlier months have been taken. So in the end, memang April la jawabnya.

So for those who ask why the hell do I always get lucky and get my book out in April, the answer is: It's not luck. It's technicality. 

Same la macam "Kenapa Shai selalu ada kat event Buku Prima?". It's not because they prefer me over others. It's because I live in Shah Alam and the publishing company is in Shah Alam, son. Sometimes they didn't even ask me to come. I just happened to come. 

Adakalanya Aku dan Kau Sama-sama Perlu Ingat

Adakalanya... pehh "adakalanya"...

Okay serius.

Adakalanya, ketika kita berjalan menuju ke satu destinasi, kita terpegun dengan benda-benda yang ada kat tepi-tepi jalan. Mungkin gerai jual rambutan, mungkin kedai kopi, dan kalau jalan tu kat Jogja, mungkin angkringan (Shai is starting to deviate from subject again....)...

Tapi kadang-kadang dalam perjalanan kita tu, kita nampak ada simpang lain. Simpang tu tulis "SHORTCUT", atau simpang tu papan tandanya cantik sangat, atau nama tempat kat papan tanda tu menarik sangat, so kita belok. Instead of ikut jalan yang kita nak, kita melencong ke tempat lain. Mungkin lencongan tu membawa kita ke tempat yang sebenarnya lebih sesuai untuk kita, mungkin shortcut untuk destinasi kita, atau just a place that delay our travel.

Whatever it is yang ada kat lencongan tu, sama ada kita nak belok atau tak, itu semua keputusan yang perlu dibuat di simpang tersebut. Because You won't know if simpang tu kau boleh patah balik atau jalan sehala, dan kau tak tahu sama ada wujudnya simpang lain dan simpang tu akan membawa kau ke tempat yang sama dengan simpang sebelum ni kalau kau teruskan perjalanan ikut destinasi asal. Kat simpang tu la kau kena buat keputusan.

Kenapa aku buat analogi panjang ni?

Sebab adakalanya sebagai penulis, aku rasa aku sesat jalan. Ada banyak sangat simpang untuk penulis ni. Kadang-kadang kau jadi down bila novel kena kritik dan rasa profession ni tak sesuai dengan kau, atau kau jadi overconfident bila dipuji sampai kau rasa kau better than everybody else. Kadang-kadang kau tensen bila royalti tak banyak dan kau lupa apa objektif utama kau turun ke bidang penulisan sebab kau asyik tanya semua pembaca apa diorang nak baca instead of staying true to what you writ. Kadang-kadang kau sibuk mencari penerbit untuk buat adaptasi buku kau.

Tapi sebenarnya, kita irji' semula.

A writer writes.

We write about things that happened, we write experiences, we write lessons, stories, fantasies, imaginations, reality, wonders, sadness, happiness, woes, happily-ever-afters, horrors, thrillers, actions. We write things plainly atau dengan bahasa berbunga-bunga, bahasa pasar atau sastera, bahasa sinis atau ketegasan. Kita guna kata kerja, kata nama, kata sifat, pelbagai jenis bahasa. Kita serius, kita lucu, kita sarkastik...

Tapi yang nyata satu saja. Writers write.

Kita menulis. Itu priority. Kalau tak kita tak dipanggil penulis.

So ingat semula perjalanan kita. Where were we going. Why were we in this. Why did we write in the first place. There are a lot of more interesting things. There are too many things that entice.

But a writer writes.

SIM card aku rosak, so aku bermonolog tentang kehidupan...

Bila aku kata SIM card aku rosak, member aku cam....

"Nampak sangat ko single."

Ahahahahahahaha. Apa kaitannya? Banyak kaitannya. Hanya orang single yang sangat tenang bila SIM card rosak, fon rosak, atau apa2 hal kerosakan yang berkaitan line of communication.

Tapi it juga sangat berkaitan dengan orang yang kerja freelance-slash-novelist dari rumah macam aku (aku boleh je tulis freelancer/novelist instead of guna perkataan 'slash'.. saje menyusahkan diri).

Truth be told, I hate phones.

Aku terganggu bila dihubungi di telefon. Bila orang call aku, aku jadi blur, I say the stupidest thing that makes Snooki nampak bijak laksana (aku tak tengok "Jersey Shore" atau "Snooki & JWoww" pun untuk buat Snookie reference... which is actually a very very very old reference. I just have weird knowledge about reality shows). Apetah lagi bila aku tengah menulis. Cantik je aku punya flow, sekali tu ada bunyik lagu "Knights of Cydonia" berkumandang dengan dahsyatnya.

Hilang sume flow idea aku.

Satu lagi sebab aku tak suka mengikuti perkembangan zaman (kata seorang bekas student Political Science whose studies are more or less about the political progress of the era). Dulu aku suka tau apa nama model kereta terbaru dan main that game dalam keta with my sister where you pick a car of your choice and kira ada berapa banyak kat jalan raya and whoever pick the most, wins..... well, actually wins nothing except the right untuk berlagak.

Tapi sekarang ni terlampau banyak model kereta yang keluar, aku dah stop paying attention. Imagine playing the same game in this insufferable adult life.

"Itu Honda, kan?"
"Nope."
"How can that not be a Honda?"
"Itu Nissan Altima."
"Looks like a Honda to me."
"How can that look anything like a Honda?"

Yeppp.. I am crap at that.

Sama jugaklah macam brand telefon. A few weeks ago, telefon lama aku rosak, so I used my father's phone instead. Nad tanya aku, phone apa. Aku kata Samsung. Then dia tanya aku Samsung apa.

I don't know. Cheap Samsung?

Then Maxis hantar SMS configuration, saying "TQ, you'll receive settings for your Samsung S3850 Corby II soon..." and aku cam, Oh, so nama kau Corby... mmmkay.

Today, aku baca artikel tentang Chow Yun Fat. Chow Yun Fat is one of the highest earning stars in Hong Kong with wealth over HKD 1 billion... which is bersamaan dengan RM...... eh pi Google sendiri lah. And yet, dia pergi events naik public transport, jarang apdet baju2 yang dia ada, dan pakai henpon cikai. Why? Sebab dia kata dia boleh observe orang kalau naik public transport and people would not realise he's there at all sebab diorang sume busy tunduk tengok fon masing2. And why dia pakai fon cikai? Sebab dia suka fon cikai dia.

So I guess Fat Gor is my idol in that sense.

That brings me to the point... kenapa bila aku hidup dengan dhaif, some successful people kata, "Kau kena berubah" and bagi aku contoh-contoh orang-orang kaya yang berjaya macam Dr. Fazley atau Donald Trump sebab diorang dress and act for the job they want. And yet bila aku kata, "Christopher Nolan takde henpon", sume orang kata, "Kau mana boleh samakan diri ko dengan Christopher Nolan...."

How can you compare me to those other rich people who you think I should take as an example, but when I pick my example, ko kata tak bleh plak?

Jap, apa cerita aku tadi? Aku rasa aku dah keluar topik....

Oh well.

In reality, Fat Gor tak bakar rokok dengan duit though...

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Selamat Tahun Baru semua!
(Cis... punye la terlambat sampai 13 hari).

Or, more correctly, (sila baca lepas Maghrib) Salam Maulidur Rasul! Sallallahu 'Ala Muhammad, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Semoga kita tak berselawat hanya pada Maulud Nabi.

Anyways.
The new year has not been much different from what other years. I mean, aku masih buat freelance, aku masih seorang novelis, aku masih di Malaysia (walaupun dulu poyo buat plan nak migrate Aussie bila umur 30 tahun. Shai and her plans.....). Ya, not much difference. Aku memang dah berhenti making new year a big deal since I was 23. I found that pretending like I care and making too many resolutions only end up with me not doing any of those resolutions and doing the exact opposite.

Like, that time when I said I am done trying to slim down. Then suddenly aku lost 10kg. Then aku kata "Oh, this year I will work hard so that I can tone my body like those damn KPop girls"..... takde makne. Makin aku makan lagi ade la...

But there are changes among friends. Nad dah start pindah ke rumahnya sendiri. Tim is a mummy to a healthy baby boy. Masni dah married, fly ke Japan pregnant, all in a course of a few months (I assume). Jis pulak akan kahwin Februari ni. Shikin is married and pregnant. Liza beli rumah baru. Mun's catering business dah semakin maju.

Speaking of catering (ada kaitan ke?), Sabtu lepas, aku, Liza (Liza Nur) dan Shikin (Zara Amani) lepak sarapan kat Shah Alam Mall, saja update what's new. And somehow kitorang end up brainstorming dan came up with a new trio project. I am not sure whether GBK would want to publish us, since I don't think they're so keen about 3Hati... ahahaha... but still, we just love the idea so much, we're just going to do it in spite of.

Biasanya aku akan cerita apa the whole project is about, but since nowadays dah banyak sangat kes (yang aku dengar la) this writer curik this other writer's idea, and the whole shabang, aku rasa lebih baik kitorang keep it quiet for a while.

Adakah projek ini sebuah sekuel? NNNNNNope.

Meanwhile, novel sekuel Aku Kan Novelis dikatakan bakal keluar April ini (novel aku asik keluar bulan April. Senang kata, kalau nak novel keluar April, sila hantar around June or July the year before). Novel baru Liza Nur pulak, "Pabila Dia Tersenyum" (tentative title? Not sure) will come out the month before. As for Zara Amani? Entah. Tak siap-siap manuskripnya. Ahahahaha.

Clue for the next project?

*masukkan lagu Zaiton Sameon di sini*

Lama sungguh aku tak update blog.

Maafkan aku.

Bukannya aku malas, tapi aku tak sempat.

Banyak benda yang aku tak sempat nak buat.

Aku tak sempat nak update tumblr.

Aku tak ada masa enough nak update Page FB Liza Nur.Nurul Syahida.Zara Amani (which is our official page... yang aku sangka senang sikit kalau bertiga sebab that way boleh pastikan page tu sentiasa aktif... but somehow tak jugak... trust three novelists to actually find something to update!.. yeah, we shud've just hired someone to manage it...)

Malah season terbaru BOARDWALK EMPIRE dah stack up dalam koleksi things that I should watch but have yet to do so.

Lepas hantar AKN2 tempoh hari, aku start pulak menulis SBP2. Lepas SBP2, aku nak sambung manuskrip ILHAM AZIZA (temporary title) yang aku tinggalkan buat sementara. Malah aku berhutang tiga cerita kanak-kanak dengan editor Unit Kanak2 Buku Prima.

Jadi aku mintak maaf banyak-banyak. Aku akan cuba jadi manusia yang lebih pandai menguruskan masa selepas semuanya selesai.

PS: Mak kata inilah puncanya aku tak kahwin2. Ahahahaha. Aku kata, "Mak, jodoh tu kalau dah sampai, duduk lubang cacing pun jumpa bakal suami. Kalau jodoh tu tak sampai, muka cantik macam Miss Universe dengan skil rumah tangga level Martha Stewart pun still single..."

I don't always hate everything

People kept telling me: "Shai, banyak sangatlah isu kau ni. Itu tak suka, ini tak suka. Apa yang kau suka kalau semua benda tak elok je kat mata ko?"

You want me to list things? Fine.

BENDA-BENDA YANG AKU SUKA PART I

1. Nutella
2. Food made by people who want to impress you, not food made by people who want you to praise them. Yes, they are two different things.
3. Bunga kekwa
4. The kind of morning where your neighbour doesn't think drilling the wall would be a good idea
5. David Mitchell
6. Saying random things
7. Singing random things
8. Gone with the Wind
9. Writing and not being interrupted
10. Encyclopaedia
11. People who like me
12. People who do not hate me
13. Translating Spanish telenovelas
14. KFC
15. Breaking Bad
16. Quoting Liz Lemon
17. Seluar pallazo
18. Listening to Alanis Morisette while working
19. Surah Al-Adiyat
20. Stephen King
21. Books that are not about kahwin paksa atau kahwin vampire
22. Jane Austen
23. Cats
24. People who do not annoy me
25. Men being nice because they're nice, not because they want something
26. Cheap clothes
27. Cheap anything
28. Jason Bateman
29. Prague
30. People who look at me when I'm talking and not focusing on their gadget.
31. Talk politics with people who studies politics
32. Not talking about politics with idiots
33. Shah Alam at 2am
34. Gangster movies
35. Masak lemak labu

Top 10 Male Characters that I Can Watch Three Hours Straight.

I once wrote about what kind of fictional/movie character that inspires me to write, (which you all can read HERE).

Dalam masa yang sama, sesetengah pembaca (aku tak kata "ramai pembaca" because it would be lying...) tanya aku pasal karakter lelaki yang inspire aku. Ala, aku tau kenapa diorang tanya. Mesti sebab baca AKU KAN NOVELIS, lepas tu terpengaruh dengan Roul, lepas tu nak tau what was on my mind when I created Roul, kan? Kan? Ahahahaha.

So aku senaraikan di sini. Sebenarnya bukanlah "inspire" aku, tapi senang kata, aku suka kesemua karakter ni sebab dia ada depth, as in psychological depth, bukan cam being like it "just because" (although dalam entry ni, tak semestinya aku akan buat psychological analysis for every character... sebab aku manusia yang malas). 

Anyway,...

Ini Top 10 Karakter Fiksyen/Filem (Lelaki) yang bagi aku adalah genius:

1. Rhett Butler
("Gone with the Wind")

Ya, aku suka Scarlett O'Hara, dan aku suka saingannya, Rhett Butler. Apa yang aku suka tentang Rhett bukanlah the whole package - bad boy, wealthy arsehole, rides a horse like a boss. Tapi sebab dia saja yang boleh control Scarlett's unexpected behaviour. Control in this sense bermaksud Rhett is a man who has experienced the world dan tahu bila masanya Scarlett buat sesuatu bersebab dan bila masanya she was just acting on her whims. And that can be said in regards to his views about everyone. Dia sorang saja yang rasa this whole war business merugikan dan the South tak ada sebarang strategi tapi sekadar ego yang dipupuk dek semangat 'ketuanan' (atau erti kata lainnya, "Southern Pride"). He's not cynical. He's just being logical. And the others hated him for his socially-marginalised views.

(Sebab tu setiap kali aku dengar member2 citer pasal semangat ketuanan Melayu, aku teringat pada Rhett Butler's heated exchange with the overzealous South fanatic, Charles Hamilton)

Dan aku suka the fact that in the end, he left Scarlett. It shows that Rhett bukan karakter jiwang yang akan buat apa saja demi mendapatkan perempuan yang sah-sah tak tahu menghargai apa yang dia ada. He left her not as a lesson to her, but as a lesson to himself, that his obsession with her passion is poisonous.

Of course aku suka when they were together, because they're such an evil tag team, tapi aku rasa tak ada apa yang lebih hebat berbanding the last part when he left her despite her love confession. It made GONE WITH THE WIND a better story, because then you realised that the story is not actually about Scarlett and Rhett. It's a story about the rise and fall of civilisation yang dipercantikkan dengan kewujudan dua karakter tu. It was the age of civil war. It doesn't want to dumb readers with happily ever afters. (Sebab tu aku sangat benci novel "Scarlett" yang ditulis oleh Alexandra Ripley, sebab she just destroyed all the meaning from GWTW with her annoying happily ever afters...)

Oh, dan jangan lupa his most iconic statement yang suatu masa dulu pernah jadi aku punya title blog...

2. Richard Harrow
(Boardwalk Empire")

Harrow bukan watak utama dalam siri HBO pasal era Prohibition ni. Tapi as soon as the producers masukkan wataknya dalam siri ni, aku terus cam,...Hell yeah! Played by Jack Huston, cucu kepada THE John Huston, the first episode yang dia muncul, lookin' all "Don't-look'at-me" and "I-am-already-dead-in-the-war", aku terus rasa that I will like his character.

First of all, Richard Harrow ada dua personaliti. No, walaupun topeng dan kecacatan muka dia tu ala Two-Face, dual personality yang aku maksudkan bukan macam Two-Face. Harrow is a ruthless assassin who just wants to be normal. The death of Angela beri impak yang lebih besar kepada dia berbanding kepada Jimmy, which is her own husband, sebab Angela was his 'normal'. He was not in love with her, but he loves her for how she treated him as if he was whole (pun intended). The same goes to his loyalty to Jimmy, the only guy yang bercakap dengan dia tanpa mintak dia explain kenapa muka dia macam tu, and the fact that Jimmy shares the same misery with him - that they both think they've already died in the war, and they're only living the remnants of a meaningless life, makes them closer together. And it was super-badass tengok these two guys destroying people who got in Nucky Thompson's way earlier in season 1.

So bila Jimmy mati and Harrow returns to the Darmody mansion dengan his whole arsenal dan tembak semua orang (dengan penuh bergaya, because he's Richard Harrow, bitch!) semata-mata untuk stay true to his promise to Angela and Jimmy and protect their son Tommy, aku depan TV cam, "Yeah, shoot em all! Shoot. Em. All!!"

(okay, perangai suruh tembak orang ni just untuk televisyen. Aku tak condone the use of weapon towards anybody, criminal or not).

3. Mr. Darcy
("Pride & Prejudice) 

Minat Mr. Darcy, oh sangat klise! Tapi I have to admit, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE was the only book yang boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk baca what happen next. Tak ada buku lain. Not even GONE WITH THE WIND boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk tahu what happened in the second act.

Dulu aku anggap Mr. Darcy adalah watak yang paling perfect dalam dunia, tapi itu aku ketika berusia awal 20-an. Masa awal 20-an, rupa paras, kekayaan, dan the whole "I will do anything for her" shit macam sangat dreamy. Tapi di era ini, era aku selalu sakit sendi, banyak bil nak dibayar dan ada metabolisme yang menurun (haih...), Mr. Darcy macam satu fantasy yang tak akan jadi kenyataan. Tapi aku still kena masukkan dia dalam senarai sebab I even dedicated a whole book for Mr. Darcy in my second novel, PLAIN JANE.

The reason is the same with everybody - he is dreamy, complicated, misunderstood, yada yada yada. Next!!

4. Michael Bluth
("Arrested Development")

Memang aneh untuk memasukkan watak Michael Bluth ke dalam senarai. Tapi aku tak kata ini senarai "lelaki idaman aku", just senarai karakter yang aku suka. Dan aku suka Michael Bluth (lakonan Jason Bateman) sebab dia ridiculous. He is adorable, yes... but ridiculous to boot.

I mean, he is a family man yang cuba nak satukan keluarganya tak kira betapa unworthy  dan selfish sekalipun keluarganya tu. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, Michael sendiri bukanlah manusia paling baik dalam dunia. He thought he is. He thought he is the saviour who can unite the family. But he actually does it for his own ego. He can't stand it when he was not the go-to guy atau bila anak dia lebih worship GOB or Lindsay. Dia nak ada say in everything and keep using the word, "I have sacrificed a lot for this family".

Michael Bluth is actually the epitome of almost everybody in the world who think that they're doing something good for others or sacrificing for the sake of others, tapi sebenarnya ada ketidakikhlasan di situ, usually when they feel hurt that they're under-appreciated. Have you ever felt like that? Then, congrats, you're a Michael Bluth. Are you saying you're not? Tahniah, you are in denial, which still makes you a Michael Bluth.

5. Michael Corleone
("The Godfather, 1, 2 & 3")

Setiap kali sebut nama Michael Corleone, mula la otak aku main lagu "Speak Softly Love"... which is actually theme song untuk Don Vito, dan bukan Michael. Masa mula-mula aku tengok THE GODFATHER, aku terlalu muda untuk memahami the fact that the whole story is about Michael, not Vito.

Michael, macam Richard Harrow, cuma nak kehidupan biasa with his beloved, Kay, which in Mafia book means 'fantasy life'. Dia tak nak jadi sebahagian daripada the whole Mafia family, and Don Corleone pun harap yang his most favourite son will not be a part of the "family business". Tapi he was thrust into the criminal life when his father was nearly killed by Sollozo. It's like, he didn't want to join the life of crime because of his father, but he finally joined in because of him. Very Greek tragedy, no?

So here's a normal guy who wants no violence, but had to be violent due to circumstances... and choice. A choice he regretted later, but a choice he can't turn away from. Which is so similar to another of my favourite male character:

6. Walter White
("Breaking Bad")

Walter White, not unlike Michael Corleone, is a non-violent man who has to finally resort to violence. Cuma bezanya, even Michael Corleone tak berniat nak masuk ke dunia jenayah. Tapi Walter, the 50 year-old chemistry genius yang end up jadi under-appreciated chemistry teacher due to his own pride and greed once upon a time, end up menjadi drug kingpin sebab dia tak tahu when to actually stop.

Well, of course he started because he was diagnosed with cancer and will die in two years, so dia tak nak burden his family with debt dengan cara mencari easy money menggunakan kepakarannya dalam chemistry to create the purest crystal meth ever. Tapi Walter White yang itu cuma nak dapatkan duit dengan pantas tanpa keluarganya tahu tentang penyakitnya ataupun aktiviti haramnya. Masalahnya, the world that Walter was forcing himself into is not the typical demand-supply, buy-sell world. The drug biz is a multi-layered criminal world yang melibatkan cartels, which means a lot of additional crimes, death and much more. And he can't get his money by being Walter White, the wimpy high school teacher. He has to play a new role, of a cunning conniving kingpin with the pseudonym Heisenberg.

Apa yang aku suka tentang Walter White adalah the fact that when you peel all the layers, adalah lelaki yang mengalami krisis pertengahan usia. Students dia tak pedulik dengan chemistry, bini dia queen control and sedang pregnant, dia ada two jobs untuk provide for his family and pay the medical bills for his son yang ada cerebral palsy, kawan baik dia di universiti dah berjaya jadi billionaire through the company yang he helped created and he even named, and now he is dying of cancer and may die as an insignificant man despite his actual talent and intelligence.

Tapi once he became "The One Who Knocks", dia lupa diri dan his pride and greed takes over. Tapi the "geniusness" of this character (played by Bryan Cranston of "Malcolm in the Middle" fame) ialah, anda tahu dia sebenarnya evil, selfish, ego, tamak, angkuh... tapi somehow you root for him, because you know how it feels to be unappreciated.

7. Michael Scofield
("Prison Break")

Ah, what is a list of top men without our darling Scofield, eyh? A frikken genius? Checked. Smooth-talker? Checked. Must be filthy rich being one of the best structural engineer around? Checked. Masuk penjara demi abang? Checked. Brooding much? Checked. Origami expert? Checked. Making low latent inhibition sexy? Checked. Menjadikan blueprint penjara seni tatu yang cantik? Checked. Deep blue eyes that you want to swim in? Checked.

Oh, tak payah cerita pasal Wentworth Miller gay atau tak. Itu isu lain. Kita bercakap tentang Scofield, dan bukan pelakon yang melakonkan watak Scofield. Scofield macam that one dude you hope to be with somehow cuz you know if something happens to you, he will do everything in his power to save you... and not in those cliched "Nah, aku beli syarikat ni so kau tak perlu dibuli lagi" sense, but more like, "See, I fake death and run into danger just to see you again..." ala-ala Shakespearean heroes.

I want to be all psychological about Scofield, but I just like him for all the obvious reasons, so macam pointless je nak pura-pura macam ada intelligent views about it. Ahahaha.

8. Sherlock Holmes

For obvious reasons, I will just say that I have all the Sherlock Holmes series, the book, I mean. That's how much love I have for the automaton of a man. People keep liking him for his less than interested view about the world. But to me, he is just an indifferent bastard who cares more about the how than the why.

Which is totally different than me, since I like to know why, before I even want to start to figure out the how.

9. Daryl Dixon
("The Walking Dead")

This is to show that I am a normal girl who does not only worship a 50 year-old crystal meth maker (macam Walter White) atau brooding half-faced assassin (macam Richard Harrow), but a normal woman who looks at Daryl Dixon and thinks, shit, I want one!

That crossbow, that bike, I mean, Daryl is his own video game character. In a way, he is like Michael Scofield. His brother is a goner, and yet he stays true to him. Dia yang hunts for food, dia yang ada weapon paling senyap dan efektif and he is not interested in the whole power struggles, sama ada antara Rick and Shane, atau Rick and the Governer. He's just minding his business like nobody's business.

I mean, kalau aku dalam Zombie Apocalypse, I want to be where he is. Macam lagu The Calling, "I'll go wherever you will go...."

10. Ustaz Ilyaz
("Dari Sujud ke Sujud")

Ini memang totally sebab character Ustaz Ilyas yang dibawak oleh Dude Harlino je, sebab dia nampak sangat meyakinkan sebagai seorang ustaz. Jalan cerita memang out. Aku rasa aku tengok sinetron ni hanya sebab Ustaz Ilyas dan Husna. Jalan cerita yang mengarut pasal the whole rape thing is just like, "What? You know there's an easy solution to the actual problem, right?"

It's not even Dude Harlino per say. I mean, I don't actually like his role as Shamsul Hadi in "Munajat Cinta". It's just that Ustaz Ilyas is familiar. It reminds you of your childhood and teenage years, bila ada ustaz muda mengajar kat sekolah and like, every girl in the school went totally nuts. Like, I remember there was this one ustaz... what was his name... but he was frikken gorgeous, and like, there were female students almost always in the teacher's room asking stuff yang konon2 tak faham masa dalam kelas. Or that ustaz when I was in UIA, not that good looking, but was quite popular with the girls that once a girl blocked me and went, "Ustaz, dah dengar lagu M.Nasir yang baru?" when I was right in the middle of answering his question about Heliocentrism or something (yeppp, nerd alert).

And Ustaz Ilyas reminds me of those ustazes (is that a correct plural?)... asatizes (dah jama' dalam Arab, nak plural english lagi... ish ish..)...in my growing up years. I mean, come on... you all go "Awwwweee....." bila dia sebut nama Husna dengan lemah lembut, kan? Kan? Kan?

And then when Dude goes back to his modern Dude Harlino look, you just want to go, "Duuude (as in duuuude, not Du-de), no. Go back to the pesantren look. It makes you YOU. Don't go back to the modern world. The modern world's an arse!"

Assholes 101 - Part I: Impatient drivers

From this day onwards, I will try to make one special segment called "Assholes 101", speaking to you all about the people that annoy the crap out of me.

And oh yes, though I did say that I will try to be a good human being that doesn't swear a lot and using the F-word, C-word, B-word (I don't even know why the B-word is considered a bad word. Just don't eat it, you don't need to cuss it) and the whole alphabetical.... thing... word... (huh?).
But if there are words that I will never promise not to use, they would be:

a. Asshole
b. Douchebag
c. Incomprehensive arse

I love those words. Fullstop.

But anyway. The first asshole I want to talk about is the kind of assholes that caused this:

No, I don't mean the video guy. I am talking about these:

Might I inform you that the correct lane is the left one...

No, not just the two cars (aku malas nak kaburkan nombor plet diorang). But the whole lot in front and behind them. You see, the Kuala Pilah - Ulu Bendul road is actually what we call jalan kampung. Which also means that it has only two lanes going for two opposite direction. And for people coming from, let's say, Sri Menanti (like moi), we don't have any other road but this one. It's either that, or we have to surrender to a verrry verrry long journey using the other road.

So, it is normal for bad traffic when the festive season arrives. It has been that way for the past, I don't know, 60 years? Let's not rant about what the Negeri Sembilan state government has been doing and just focus on the micro. Us.

People. just. got. to. be. patient. 

The two photos that I took (because we were freaking mad inside the car), depict the cars in the wrong lane - impatient people who are using the opposite lane to cut the existing traffic. What's wrong in this picture is not just the fact that the road only has two lanes and they are simply cutting off the road for the opposite traffic, but they have also obstructed the ambulance, fire truck and the tow truck from coming and going.

Not like they didn't see or hear those nenong nenong sound, which of course indicate that there is trouble in front. Normal people with good hearing and sense would know that the sound and the inevitable red truck with the word BOMBA in lopsided spelling means there is something bad that has been delaying others.

I mean, what is wrong about waiting? I know it has been two hours. But as far as I am concerned, if you are stuck in traffic for more than two hours, all you have to do is just turn back. Or if it doesn't move at all, ask one of your passenger to get out, and try to find what the issue is and find the solution from there onwards. Cutting the line is just asshole-ish (that's not a word), ESPECIALLY when the accident (in this case, involving a white Kelisa, a cement truck and two Aerobacks, resulting in eight injuries and one death) happened BECAUSE one of the car (in this case, allegedly the Kelisa) tried to cut the line and couldn't avoid the incoming truck, causing the truck to lose control and hit the two Aerobacks. 

It's like, you are seeing the consequence of being impatient just in front of you while you are doing the same thing. It's moronic.

Here's the thing. When I told people that I don't want to get a driving license because I don't believe that I will be a good driver, people kept telling me, "Oh no, you need one. All you need is practice. I was bad at first too". But most people are actually bad drivers who cut lines, who would speed up and cut several lanes because they were on the wrong one, and making u-turns at traffic lights. What is the problem of me trying to avoid being a nuisance on the road? I know my full potential and my thought processes. They are not good for the longevity of mankind!!!

There was a comedian who said that people who failed their driving test more than three times should not be given another chance. And somehow I think it's true. I mean, I even believed that drivers should not only take driving license but psychological tests. There are lots of crazy people on the road, I mean like:

1. Women putting make-up while on the road

(Seriously? Your beauty is more important than others' safety?)

2. Line-cutters

(You will not explode into tiny bits even if you wait a little)

3. Signal seniles

(The signal sticks are there for a reason, you know)

4. The cussing crap-asses

(Yes, there are people who drive stupidly, but you don't have to call them by their reproductive system)

...and my most favourite one of all: THE CHALLENGER

Those people who, upon being wronged by another driver, thinks that "Hey, I will now follow you closely and chase your tail and make threatening sounds with my car because in my head that's so intimidating and all."

Forgive and forget, will you? Why would you even want to follow them, make them only the more anxious and cause another accident, o you incomprehensive arse? Stop it. You won't win any Noble Prize in doing so. 

Assholes...

    

Read the accident news -> HERE

I would also like to express my condolences to the family of Allahyarham Rahmat Jamaludin, the man who was victimised by others' lack of tolerance and bad decision, be it the person who made the choice to cut the line that resulted in the accident that took his innocent life, or the other line cutters - who slowed down the rescue team that were trying to save him and his family.

A monologue

Bila orang lain buat benda pelik, semua sedara mara aku hairan. Tapi kalau aku buat benda pelik, dia orang kata, "Biasalah kakngah ko tu."

Adik aku suka kata, "Kakngah punya kawan pelik-pelik", while kawan-kawan aku kata, "Kau yang suka kawan dengan orang pelik-pelik."

Masa dekat sekolah, kalau aku cakap sesuatu, Ustazah Ann Surina akan kata, "Ada-ada jelah kamu ni, Syahida!"

While Ustaz Nasser di Matrics UIA pernah suruh aku duduk depan dia and told me, "You have a certain style, Syahida. You just don't know it."

Editor aku kat CO pernah ping aku kat MSN Messenger and kata, "Wow, you are more drama than me!"

While kawan-kawan baik aku, especially Mun dan Nad, percaya yang aku memang tak berapa nak 'normal' berbanding orang lain.

Mungkin itu yang menjadikan aku seorang novelis. Jangan salah faham. Bukan maksud aku orang normal tak boleh jadi novelis. Boleh. Maksud aku ialah, orang normal boleh jadi novelis dan benda lain. Orang pelik cuma sesuai jadi novelis.

Sebenarnya sampai sekarang aku tak tahu apa yang menjadikan aku 'pelik'. Mungkin sense of humour aku. Mungkin benda remeh pada orang lain yang aku ambik serius (like how I hate malt drinks and think it's just intentional for them to make it look like beer. What's the problem of designing a less ambiguous design rather than having the same font and shape like a beer?)... atau benda serius pada orang yang aku amik remeh (to tell you the truth, I still think Alvivi's recent action was just a joke-gone-wrong rather than a-slap-to-Muslim's-face).

Mungkin sebenarnya aku tak pelik. Mungkin aku cuma duduk di negara yang salah. Mungkin di UK, atau Uganda, atau Cuba, atau Australia, cara aku berfikir ini normal. 

Mungkin aku dikelilingi kawan-kawan yang sama anehnya sebab kami kekurangan orang yang berfikir dengan cara yang sama. Mungkin kami normal, dan orang lain yang pelik.

Jika ditanya apa yang pelik sangat, aku tak tahu apa nak jawab. Adakah cuba berinteraksi dengan kucing dengan cara duduk seperti kucing dan menghabiskan masa selama lima minit merenung mata kucing itu dikira pelik? Kalau itu pelik, ya aku pelik.

Adakah berfikir tentang keajaiban alam dengan cara membuat analisa tentang tahi keras dan tahi cair itu satu kepelikan? Jika itu pelik, ya aku pelik.

Adakah  keengganan membeli beg tangan yang nilainya lebih tinggi dari isi dompet itu dianggap pelik? Kalau ya, maka aku pelik.

Adakah memilih untuk menterjemah maksud "Forgive and Forget" secara harfiah, lalu memaafkan seseorang dan berpura-pura seperti insan tersebut tidak wujud lagi dikira satu kepelikan? Jika itu pelik, maka aku pelik.

Mungkin aku terlalu banyak berfikir. Mungkin tindakan berfikir lebih lanjut tentang isu ini menunjukkan aku tidak pelik. Mungkin orang akan salah sangka yang aku anggap 'pelik' itu satu pujian. Mungkin orang fikir aku cuma mahu distinguish diri aku sebagai insan yang berbeza dari orang lain. Mungkin aku perasan.

But I wish I was normal. I wish I get angry at Alvivi, or buys Prada without thinking, or just met any guy who wishes to meet me, or wake up every morning knowing what to do and sleep at night thinking I just did what I had to do today and I will do it again tomorrow, or buy a house when the price goes down, or drive a car, laugh when I feel like it, cry when I feel sad, listen to other people, write what others want, think about weddings and kids names, enjoy the moment, eat, pray, love.

But I can't. Semua harus ada makna dan tidak ada makna dalam masa yang sama.

Mungkin kerana itu mereka kata aku pelik. 

THE SELF-OBSESSED TRIVIA 6: Things you should know about 3 HATI

After much persuasion, we finally have it!

* Sebenarnya kitorang bagi banyak pilihan tajuk kepada editor, like "Trenologi", "Madchen & Madness", etc etc. In the end, editor pilih 3 HATI.

* Buku ni diedit oleh Encik Mohd Ali. First time for NS, but since Liza n Zara memang biasanya diedit En. Ali, so secara tak langsung, En. Ali edit NS punya sekali. Although En. Ali yang found NS and took NS under his wings, actually novel NS tak pernah En. Ali yang edit (selama ni editor NS adalah Sue, Che Echah, Anis n Poja).

* Our beloved Ms. Syreen yang buat cover novel. Memula kitorang mintak three girls in the train, to signify the only time the three of them met each other, tapi sebab ada protocols and trademark BP kena stick to, so dapat kasut. But we still got the polkadots we wanted so much. Yay.

* The inspiration we got to write together and actually bincangkan the whole plot adalah masa meeting Grup Buku Karangkraf. Orang semua pergi makan, kitorang lepak dalam audi bincang pasal jalan citer. That was in... 2010? 2011?

Liza Nur on Lea

1) Kisah lembu terbabit dalam drama Lea dan Noah masa kecik...lembu juga ada dalam Panggil Aku Kiah sebab Liza pernah bercita-cita untuk menjadi penternak lembu semasa kecik...

2) Sebab kami bertiga nak wujudkan karektor yang personaliti yang berbeza, Liza terpaksa ambil watak yang paling lembut hati sekali...takkanlah nak tulis semua heroin yang balas dendam, kan? Kena la variasikan...

3) Ada banyak maksud tersirat dalam Lea... Trimas kepada yang sudi menelaah maksudnya... bagi yang tidak suka juga, terima kasih kerana membuatkan kaki Liza sentiasa berpijak di bumi...InsyaAllah, akan berusaha lagi di masa depan...

4) Kenapa Liza namakan hero Liza, Noah? Liza pun tak tau. Ia terjadi secara random... Liza cuba turutkan kemahuan pembaca yang merasakan nama-nama watak novel Liza terdahulu terlalu panjang...

5) Liza tau Lea watak yang sadis... Bagi Liza, menghidupkan satu watak begitu adalah satu cabaran..Kalau anda merasakan Lea ‘menyedihkan’ sebab sayang gila kat Imran dan sangat melodramatik, maknanya Liza telah berjaya memenuhi misi Liza dalam menghidupkan karektor Lea dan mengalunkan kisah ini dalam 3 Hati...

Nurul Syahida on Wulan

1. While Lea's story is about heartbreak, acceptance dan epiphany, Wulan's story is about revenge and karma. More towards her break from auto-pilot lifestyle to actually understanding what she wants in life rather than who she ends up with.

2. Nama Wulan aku gunakan sebab aku memang sejak dulu aku suka nama tu. It is so nusantara. And aku memang suka kisah cinta Jaka dan the angel Nawangwulan, especially the part where the relationship between the two is full of deception. Nawangwulan sangka dia jatuh cinta pada manusia yang selamatkan dia, without knowing that Jaka was the one yang halang dia dari kembali ke dunianya by stealing her selendang. Meanwhile, nama Neal aku amik dari that divorce lawyer, Neal Hersh masa aku tengah buat artikel pasal perceraian di Hollywood... dan Henry pulak... I just like the name Henry. It's so.... Henry? Oh, dan Wai Ting, kawan baik Wulan di ofis pulak sebenarnya nama sebenar former intern masa aku kerja CO who is now a journalist kat NST.

3. Lagu "On the Street Where You Live" adalah antara lagu muzikal dari filem/teater "My Fair Lady" yang aku sangat sangat sangat suka. Aku memang sangat nak masukkan lagu tu somewhere to tell people how I frikken love it (the simple lyrics, the beautiful melody, the "awwww" factor) and hope that they love it too as much as I do. So,...

4. Why Kota Kinabalu? Sebab when I was at my lowest, the lowest point of my life in 2010, my best friend Tim bought me a ticket to Kota Kinabalu. Aku selalu rasa those movies where you go away for a vacation changes you tu macam sangat klise, but it did change me. If you ask my friends, who I was before KK and after KK adalah sangat berbeza. After KK, I seemed to be able to cope with stress better. Kota Kinabalu was a turning point for me. So I made it a turning point for Wulan too. 

5. Aku jadikan stress ball permulaan kisah sebab masa aku menulis Wulan, ada stress ball kat sebelah aku. Masa aku mula-mula kerja dulu, aku diberi work station. While getting used to the place, aku bukak laci dan jumpa stress ball tu. Mungkin ditinggalkan oleh the person before me. Setiap kali aku ramas stress ball tu bila aku stress (stress call manager artis tapi tak angkat, stress kena pergi event masa ko takde mood langsung nak interview orang, stress kena buat mcm2 jenis kerja sekalipun ko kerja editorial), aku terfikir, adakah orang sebelum aku jugak meramas stress ball ini dan fikir benda yang sama yang aku fikir? Bila aku berenti kerja, unlike Wulan, aku bawak balik stress ball tu ke rumah dan it kept me company while I was writing about Wulan and her own stress ball.

Anyway, small explanation pasal Neal dalam 3HATI and his playbook. I've read some comments saying that Neal was plagiarised from Barney Stinson of "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER". Though I admit that certain characteristics of Barney ada dalam Neal, you have to understand one thing - All. Players. Are. Like. That. The ones I spoken to during my interview for the book have similar characteristics, and they exist even before Barney was televised. They like shock values, they like surprises, they're not really into candle light dinners (those are amateur wannabe player). They all have the same dream of publishing their own playbook. Sorry if you think I am plagiarising a character from a sitcom. My friend Adrian will be pissed if you compare him to Barney again. Ahahaha...

Zara Amani on Nini

1. Nama Nini dan Acik ni sebenarnya nama kawan ZA yang telah menuntut nama masing-masing diwartakan dalam mana-mana karya ZA. Makanya, Fatin Zubir and Achik Ashraf, belajar rajin-rajin. Wedding gua nanti datang eh. Haha... Watak dalam cerita ni langsung tak sama dengan empunya diri. ZA pakai nama je without prejudice. Watak adalah rekaan ikut suka semata-mata.

2. ZA cuba menerapkan elemen kejujuran dalam setiap tindak tanduk kita. Antara sedar atau tak, ramai antara kita yang takut berlaku jujur sebab nak menjaga hati dan terlebih jujur sebab juga nak menjaga hati. Hmm.. ZA personally tak setuju dengan dua-dua tu. Kita mesti jujur untuk satu perkara yang kita tidak akan kita sekali-sekali kesalkan. Itu prinsip ZA.

3. Kisah payung terjun dalam tu sebab waktu tu memang gila buat payung terjun dan nama-nama watak dalam tu 98% adalah benar mengikut perangai masing-masing. Pendek kata, cerita tu adalah dedikasi untuk kawan-kawan yang menceriakan ZA sepanjang tahun 2011/2012.

4. Nini ditunjukkan sebagai gadis yang tabah dan merasakan dia mampu berdiri sendiri tanpa sesiapa. Tapi hakikatnya, dia tidak mampu hidup bersendirian seperti yang termaktub dalam firman Allah swt, lelaki dan wanita itu diciptakan berpasang-pasangan. Dalam cerita Nini dan Achik, Nini bertindak menjadi Mars manakala Achik yang lebih mellow menjadi Venus.

5. Nini cuba diterapkan sebagai seorang yang berani membuat keputusan sendiri biar pun dunia membangkang sekerasnya. Yang dia akan kesalkan adalah jika dia tidak berterus terang sekiranya dia mempunyai peluang. Betul atau salah, kita hanya tau jika kita mengambil langkah untuk ambil tahu. Kalau betul, alhamdullillah. Kalau salah, kita belajar. Jangan takut mengambil risiko. Bangkit jika kita jatuh. Jangan takut orang mengata. Masuk cerita Asyraf Muslim kahwin kat Thailand lenyaplah gosip-gosip sebelumnya itu. Yang penting, kita tak ada apa nak dikesalkan.

Realiti hari ini, ramai gadis atau wanita yang menjadi Mars kerana status lelaki berkualiti yang kurang. Tetapi semakin lama ZA perhatikan... Wanita adalah Mars... banyak menyumbang pada masalah sosial. Bila dikenangkan balik.. Allah itu sememangnya Maha Adil lagi Maha Mengetahui. Next novel, kite revise balik pemikiran macam tu. ;)

Untuk mendapatkan 3 HATI, anda boleh membuat pembelian di --> ARRAZI.

**To check out previous trivias untuk buku-buku lain, click SEKOLAH BANYAK PENUNGGU, VALENTINA NERVOSA, AKU KAN NOVELIS, PLAIN JANE, dan SOALNYA HATI.