Of Older and

Contrary to popular belief, aku sangat suka menunggu umur aku 29 tahun. Dan sekiranya anda sangka ini sarcasm, hahaha, no.

Dan setiap kali bila aku kata aku dah makin tua, I realised that there are a lot of different reaction to it, mostly negative rather than positive.

For example, "Hish, janganlah cakap dah tua. Orang yang dah 30-an 40-an lagi terasa tau tak?"
Kenapa? Apa masalah dengan umur 30-an atau 40-an? Aku tak nampak apa masalahnya. Sebab when I am 30, I would say I am getting old. When I am 40, I would still say I am getting old. Since I was 25, I have been using that sentence. Why is it so difficult to accept someone that embraces getting older? I have no issues older people wanting to feel young. So why must people have this negative idea about me saying I am getting old?

"Because when you're 60, you will not be appreciating that word "old" anymore."
Yes, so why don't I use it when I don't feel sardonic about the word? These ideas tentang tua dan muda dah membentuk satu paradigma. Yes, I agree. At times bila budak umur 23 tahun kata "Takutnya. Dah tua dah..." you do feel like smacking them on their head. But that is because they use that whiny tone and it usually involves stuff like "What if I can't find my prince charming?" or "I can't rock Selena Gomez' look now I am an adult". Me? I love every second of it. And what I meant by "old" is actually "getting older". I mean...

Older means that every time I wear kain batik to sleep, I feel like a woman and not a girl pretending to be mature about life. Although thanks to Maya Karin, now it feels porno.

Older means when I say "I have been there done that", it's not a delusional been-there-done-that where you actually have not been there or done any of that.

Older means that when I gave you an advise, it's because I knew better, not because I think giving advises are "cool and so psychologist-ish" (which is not a word). And it means that I will NOT, I can't repeat it enough, NOT give advises to married couple.  

Older means that I can say "Ugh, kids nowadays..."

Older means that I do not want a club. As in, when I say "I am a loser", I do not want people to agree and say "Oh, totally. Me too!" and then started to join in and started to call ourselves "The Cool Losers". Nnnnnope. I am not making a statement and starting a trend. I was just stating a fact. Please do not try to make it cool, because trying to make being a loser cool is actually kind of multiplying the loser part by a dozen. That is when I say "I am too old for this shit" and then people start saying "Stop saying you're old, you're not." and that just gives me more headache. When I say I am too old for this shit, what I mean to say is that I am too old to do the whole proving-a-point thing. Just let me be a loser with dignity. That's the least you can do.

Older means that everything I do feels legit. Like, calling some people "buffoons".

So just let me embrace the fact that I am old, yea? It's not like I stop doing stuff I love because of it. I still love doing impromptu activities, I still love flying kites, boating, karaoke and I am still that person who can never go to a beach or a river and not get wet even though she has no change of clothes. And I will still be that person 40 years from now because age does not change who you really are.

Oh anyways, here's my pet peeve. You should never label yourself something because you think you are. You are something only when people label you that. For example, my friend Rabiey is a genius not because she calls herself a genius. And she never had. But it's because we all call her that. We all think she is. We all say stuff like, "Rabiey came to class and slept halfway through the lecture but she always woke up and ask the most intelligent question. That girl's a genius."... and that's how her label is "genius". We call Chaq as "mak cik gelabah" because she kept panicking at stuff, like "Alamak. Alamak. macam mana ni?" That's how she gets her panicky label.

So please, never call yourself sarcastic, complicated, "mafia" (I hate that label the most. Don't you think it's annoying that some girls keep saying, "Biaselah, aku kan mafia". No, you're not. You're scared of frogs and you whine about getting married every time I talk to you, for God's sake), pretty, awesome, football-lover, misunderstood, etc etc etc when none of your friends even realised it. It means you are not and if you're still adamant of using it, you're just a pretentious part of it. You're just imagining you're that. Ask your friends what is your personality and then find the most word they use.

And that would be you. Take it. Embrace it. Cherish it. Make it work.

And stop telling me "People just can't take my honesty..."
That is because everybody knows you were never honest, son.