Shai : Your bored Indonesian-Slang malay translator

It's your "Learn Indonesian slangs" day again.

Slangs. Ya. Bukan bahasa kamus ya, anak-anak. Sebab kau cariklah sesetengah perkataan ni dalam kamus Indonesia, memang tak akan jumpa punyalah. These are equivalent to an urban dictionary. Tapi jangan risau. Kak Shai, the almost-always stressed translator will guide you through <- ayat bajet pakar.

1. GR (pronounce Ge-er, short for Gede Rasa... with e taling. Kalau tatau e taling tu apa, aku tataulah apa cikgu BM korang ajar masa sekolah dulu.)
Means: Arrogant, berlagak, cambest la sangat.
Contoh ayat: "Ngga mau? Jangan ge-er lho. Gue cuma canda aja kok."
("You don't want to? Don't be too arrogant. I was just kidding."

2. Gebetan
Means: Minat ala2 cam secret admire.
Contoh ayat: "Lho gebetan ma cowok cakep itu? Udah, bilang aja kok."
("You're interested in that freakishly handsome dude, dontcha? Just say it.")

** errr... maafkan translation english saya yang memang kadang2 over-the-top itu.

3. Telmi (short of "Telat Mikir")
Means: Slow, lembap
Contoh ayat: "Kok ngga' ngertiin lagi? Telmi banget jadi orang."
("You still don't get it? You are so slow.")

4. Matre' 
Means: It's just short form of materialistik.
Contoh ayat: "Kalau jadi orang ngga usah matre' dong."
("Don't be such a materialistic person.")

5. Ngedance
It's just the slang for dancing. But usually if they ask one to dance, they said "Turun yuk", more like, "Let's go down to the floor and shake whatcho mama gave ya...".... okay, that's a bit of an overreaction.

6. Ngedrug
Slang for doing drugs

7. Ngafe
Slang for going to the cafe

8. Jayus
Means: Lame, uncool
Contoh ayat: "Udah deh, jangan ngedance kayak Jupe lagi. Jayus, tau ga'?
("Stop dancing like Jupe. It's lame.")

9. Cokli
..................................................... I don't want to translate that for you. That's between men and what they do to pass time.

Ngga usah nanya kok. Gue ga tau kenapa muka2 ini yang gue taruk

The true measure of a man is not by his knowledge of couple shirt

This may be a bit offensive for some couple, and some might throw accusations at me, like "Shut up, you spinster you" or "That is why you're still single" and the whole lot. So ("yes" and "yes" to both accusation), let me put this question on the line.

Why do you have to emasculate a man when you're in a relationship?

Not only nowadays I have the urge to kick a lot of men's ass due to the spread of Kpop viral trend that makes all men gay, colour their hair blonde and thinks they're "bring it", even normal men are nowadays being thrown into the web of nincampoopsy (sorry, I don't really know the noun of that word) when they are in a relationship. These are shown through certain stuff which includes:

i. Wearing matching shirt with the girlfriend
I am sorry. Everytime I see that, I call the man a wimp. If you love a girl, give her chocolate, send her SMSes for all I care but do it at your own boundary of privacy. Because wearing a Mr. and Ms. Sunshine shirt, or those arrow thingy that says "I'm with her" serves only for men desperate to please. Or like Masni said, the only time worth wearing matching outfit, is on your wedding, because a blue baju melayu and a white wedding dress goes together only if you're a Chelsea fan.

ii. Nicknames
In the olden days you only call people by their nicknames when in bed (strictly for married people only). Then we adapt it to the unmarried couple and it is strictly done within the comfort of each other's house where nobody can hear you. Go crazy. Call him "Pumpkin shmumpkin", "lougoooooong", "anje cayang" and whatever creepy nicknames you guys can think of. But to see a guy being called "I-ish" (if his nameis Faiz, for example) just makes me vomit in my mouth.

iii. Cute faces
Being cute with your girlfriend for me is a given. But there are two types of cute. One, the charmer. Charmer makes a manly face looks cute (in the eyes of the girlfriend, I mean) with their longing sight and gentleman smile. But then there's the Look-At-Me-I'm-Cute face, where the dude pouts in front of the camera and widen their eyes. Everytime I saw those kind of pictures, I felt like beating someone to a pulp. Usually Kpop idols.

iv. Conversation piece
My usually silent brother suddenly rambles on and the topic was how he was annoyed at his roommate for talking on the phone four hours straight only to discuss the topic of "Whatcha eating?" with his girlfriend. Ajik said, "Kitorang nak pergi makan, lepas tu dia kata jap, aku call girlfren aku dulu tanya dia makan apa. Lepas tu die borak lama jadi kitorg tinggalkan dia. Kitorang dah makan dan da balik, tgk die masih lagi kat atas katil citer pasal sarapan." I know that relationship is about getting to know your partner, but can't you KNOW your partner and learn something about architecture or the rise and fall of civilisation perhaps?

v. The requests
Girls makes dumb requests at times, and sometimes you just have to be true to yourself and said that it is dumb. You should not go pick her up somewhere in Puchong when you are living somewhere in Teluk Intan. That's not love. That's just irrational behaviour. And you wanna know something? Usually the girl knows that it IS an irrational request. They're just testing the water. If you fall deep, I tell you son, you are so gonna have that long argument in the long run after you're married about how you "...don't do all the romantic things you used to do. You don't love me anymore!" I'm tellin ya. Use your brain and you're happier in the long run. Use your dick and it's one argument after another.

There's a difference between treating your loved one like a queen, and being enslaved by a drama queen. "Arrijaalu Qawwamuuna alan Nisa'..." that is from surah An-nisa verse 34 and my overall political view. It means that "Men are the support of women". To be a support for women, you have to BE a man. And I am telling you, eating matching strawberry-flavoured ice cream when you actually wanted mint is really sad for the gender.


**Imagine a picture of two balloons in pink and blue with distorted face here. I am too lazy to google it to make it the official image for this entry**

Pencapaian Peribadi?

Tadi ada press preview. Filem Donnie Yen. "Wu Xia". Ya aku tulis dengan sentences pendek2. Takde alasan.

Aku jarang dapat chinese movies sebenarnya walaupun sebenarnya aku takda masalah pun nak buat review Chinese movies. Oh come on. Seorang Syahida (ya, perangai merujuk diri sendiri as the third person ni memang annoying) telah melalui beberapa tingkat obsession dalam hidup. Dia pernah gilakan filem Bollywood. Pernah gilakan telenovelas (especially Colombia punya), pernah habiskan banyak masa tengok telenovela Filipina, memiliki banyak koleksi anime dan drama Jepun/Korea dan juga pernah menjadi kipas-susah-nak-mati Jay Chou (bukankah aku sudah terlalu tua untuk menggunakan perkataan kipas-susah-nak-mati?)

Tapi ketahuilah sesungguhnya semua obsesi terhadap filem dan drama itu bermula dengan TVB dan filem2 Wong Jing. Ya, ibu bapa jenis apakah mak dengan ayah aku ini kerana membenarkan seorang budak menonton filem2 Wong Jing? Hahahaha. Meh sini aku bagitau. Mak aku gilakan Alex Man. Lepas balik sekolah je, pukul 7 tu mesti nak kena tengok drama TVB dulu, baru start mengaji (mak aku yang ajar mengaji sebab dia tak percaya dengan ustaz2 yang suka buat kelas beramai2 tapi sorang pun murid die tak lulus tajwid). Tahap menengok cerita cina mencapai ke tahap yang ekstrim bila adakalanya filem Ti Lung pun kitorang tengok, apatah lagi filem2 Run Run Shaw yang tak berapa laku tu. Kadang2 dalam filem2 Hong Kong era Run Run Shaw tu, mesti ada babak menyanyi dalam kelab, dan mesti ada lagu  yang bunyik familiar - in one film, the singer was singing "Getaran Jiwa" in mandarin.

.............................. apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan sebenarnya ni? Aku pun tak sure.

Novel yang sedang aku tulis berada di mukasurat 16. Tapi sebab aku taip menggunakan font paling kecik yang ada kat Word tuh, dengan saiz 8, single line, so kire sendirilah berapa page kalau ubah ke format novel. Aku ada tiga buah filem Indonesia baru yang belum diterjemah. Kerja news memang tiap2 hari ada, so citer panjang pun tak guna. Tapi semalam tepon Kak Ani tanya payment dah masuk ke belum. Lepas tu Kak Ani bagitau payment bulan lepas punya amount, aku gelak cam nak mati.

Sungguh ironik dulu aku kerja bagai nak rak sampai Sabtu Ahad pun keje jugak, tapi gaji aku yang dulu tu sama macam yang aku dapat untuk payment freelance bulan lepas. Memangla sejak freelance aku masih bekerja Sabtu dan Ahad, tapi aku kerja Sabtu dan Ahad tu sebab aku career-casanova yang kerja banyak tempat.

So kalau pencapaian orang lain ialah naik pangkat atau naik gaji, aku anggapkan pencapaian peribadi aku ialah mendapatkan amount freelancing dengan nilai yang sama gaji aku bekerja tetap suatu masa dulu dengan syarikat yang sama - cuma kali ni gaji tu aku dapat atas kerja aku sendiri, bukan campur dengan kerja orang lain yang aku kena siapkan, bukan campur kena marah sebab tak siapkan kerja (disebabkan buat kerja orang lain), dan buat kerja yang tak ada kena-mengena dengan department aku, dan keletihan duduk dalam kesesakan jalan raya every single day.

Yep. I have gone a long way (dramatik la tuh...)

The natural desire that I do not have

When I read that Tina Fey don't have a driver's license, I feel like yeah, at last! Someone like me! And my idol all the same!

Aku tak dilahirkan dengan keinginan untuk memandu, this is what I have told Liza last time. It's like how gays would say that they are not attracted to women, I have no interest whatsoever in driving. Yes, it is important that women can drive and all the hoopla. That is why I kept telling people that I will, it's just I don't have time to take the class.

But the truth is, I never had that urge to wanna drive. I am a walker since I can remember. Even when dad wants to pick me up at school, I would prefer to walk from Section 4 to Section 11, cut to taman tasik Shah Alam and watch the fishes, then play in the labyrinth near the mosque before returning home. When everybody planned to take driving class after SPM, Nurul Syahida Kamarudin tells her dear friend at the time, Tim that she will postponed on that.

I kept postponing on that because it feels like a drag. I DON'T want to be behind wheels. I DON'T want to put myself on the road and cause accidents. I mean, I die, that's fine. Other people die? I know myself pretty well to know that my spatial skill is as high as a Parkinson sufferer. The thought that kept running inside my head is this: Driving means class (money) and tests (money) to get license (money) where then I have to buy a car (money) and kept refilling the tank (money) and get insurance (money) and renew road taxes (money) and car services (money) and also pay for any damages that might occur, especially since I know myself and what a klutz I am, I would be having tayar pancit (money), fender bender (money), radio rosak (money), scratches from parking too near to the gate (money). Langgar someone and he die?

No amount of money can ay for my psychological being.

And if I buy a local car, by the time I would finish paying for the car for 6 - 9 years, it will already be in the junkyard. That's equivalent to renting a car for 6-9 years.

Yes, driving has a lot of pros. I mean, there is no train after 11pm (which is bullshit, because in other countries, train service runs 24 hours), taxis are rip-offs and buses annoy me witha capital A-N-N-O-Y. It sure helps when your friend is tired to drive and sure helps when it's emergency. But the problem is, money is not the biggest issue. The biggest issue is that I don't have that drive to drive.

Haha, no drive to drive.

If you're attentive enough, you would have known how not interested I am in driving when I answer "Kelisa" to the question "What is your favourite car". You know what kind of transportation that I am interested in? Scooters and mesin bajak sawah. I always wanted to drive one. But cars? Nope. Furthermore when cars are more of a liability than an asset. So I always question people whose "hobbies" and "interest" are cars because I seriously don't see any cash coming in from that. Like, it would be more logical for someone to collect houses (real estates!) and lands than cars. I am a firm believer of get something from your hobby - that is why I become a novelist, have two laptops but still using a dying cellphone.

I am not against drivers. I am just against myself driving. Someone who keeps accidentally knock her head on something, keeps making typo-error or kicked a rock on a white sandy beach should not be allowed to drive.  I believe that my not driving is a service to my country.

And if I give you excuses like "I have no transportation" it doesn't always connote the meaning that my not having a drivers license is making it difficult for me to go somewhere. Sometimes that's the truth. But usually it means that I am too lazy to go, that riding a bus to go is more or less like me paying for something I don;t want to in the first place.

They kept saying that a man will not want a girl who can't drive. Well, I'm sorry that you want to marry a taxi driver then. What are you? A transportation company? Of all the things I can do - write, make jokes, cook, sing (not promising a talent there or anything), dance, take care of a household, sue a company (yes, not joking there), swear at a real-estate agent, play politics with TNB to not cut the electric of my house, differentiate the cinematography of Francis Ford Coppola and Sam Raimi, translate a weird 80s Indonesian movie... men would not want to marry me just because I can't drive (and can't sew a button to save her life, I admit that) a car?

Oh screw them.

Seekor anjing bernama N

Aku tengah baca pasal benda ni:


6-Acetyl-2,3,4,5-tetrahydropyridine is responsible for the biscuit or cracker-like flavor present in baked goods like bread, popcorn, and tortilla products. The structurally-related compound 2-acetyl-1-pyrroline has a similar smell, and occurs also naturally without heating and gives varieties of cooked rice and the spice pandan (Pandanus amaryllifolius) their typical smells. Both compounds have odor thresholds below 0.06 ng/l.[3]
The browning reactions that occur when meat is roasted or seared are complicated, and occur mostly by Maillard browning[2] with contributions from other chemical reactions, including the breakdown of the tetrapyrrole rings of the muscle protein myoglobin.

Then aku cuba tengok gambar acetylpyrroline yang turut disertakan dalam penerangan tu. Ini gambarnya:

Tapi menurut mata kasar aku, aku cuma nampak bentuk origami seekor anjing bernama N.

Safiah menjawab...

Seorang member consult aku tentang perempuan. Soalannya, adakah perempuan lebih suka lelaki mengejar mereka atau lelaki yang tak layan.

Hmmmm.... lemme put myself into Safiah's mode:

"Dear bro.

Semua perempuan suka lelaki kejar mereka, dengan syarat mereka memang suka lelaki tu. Tapi kalau dari awal mereka tak suka lelaki tu, kau kejarla macam mana pun, ko hanya akan dianggap sebagai stalker. Ada tiga jenis lelaki dalam dunia seorang perempuan dan dengan menggunakan contoh PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (sekiranya andalelaki dan tidak tahu apa2 tentang buku tersebut, boo-hoo. I have no time for you), I will reveal it to you.

A. Lelaki yang dia suka

B. Lelaki yang dia rasa maybe

C. Lelaki yang dia tak suka

Katakanlah ada tiga orang lelaki, Dude X, Dude Y dan Dude Z. Gadis A (bukan nama sebenar) suka pada Dude X. Kalau Dude X tak chase after her pun, she will still like him. Kalau Dude X nak kejar, itu analoginya sama macam suka tengok filem dan lepas tu dibayar pulak untuk tengok. Contoh lelaki Dude X adalah Mr. Bingley to Jane Bennet. He likes her, she likes him and voila. 

Gadis B pulak biasa2 je dengan Dude Y. Mungkin Dude Y dah lama memendam perasaan pada Gadis B sebab Gadis B pandai jahit baju (bukan talent sebenar) tapi tak cakap. Tapi bila Dude Y luahkan perasaan pada Gadis B, Gadis B kata, "Bukan sekarang. Saya belum pulih dr kisah dulu." - sekalipun jawapan tu klise, sila note the word "bukan sekarang", which means she is saying MAYBE, bukan NO. Atau mungkin gadis B itu tak cukup mengenali  Dude Y, kerana itu tetibe mempropose kepadanya adalah sangat aneh dan menakutkan, jadi perlulah back off sedikit dan guna usaha lain. Oleh itu, mungkin dengan sedikit usaha mengejar yang jitu, gadis B akan menerima Dude Y. Namun ingat, sekiranya anda terlalu kejar, MAYBE akan bertukar jadi NO. Oleh itu, keep your pace. Contoh lelaki Dude Y adalah Mr Darcy to Elizabeth Bennet. He likes her, she's a bit unwilling, a lil bit of effort and voila.

Gadis C pula memang tak berminat dengan Dude Z. Mungkin dia anggap hanya kawan biasa atau memang tak berminat langsung2. Jadi Dude Z tidak boleh beranggapan bahawa gadis C akan luluh hatinya kalau Dude Z berusaha kerana sesungguhnya usaha tersebut is considered annoying. Gadis C tidak berminat dan selamanya tidak akan berminat sekalipun dia mungkin akan jadi andartu selepas itu. Jadi Dude Z haruslah segera cari wanita lain kerana anda punya notion of "the one" adalah salah dan tidak menepati sasaran. Contoh lelaki Dude Z adalah Mr Collins to Elizabeth Bennet. Man, he was annoy-ING.

Tapi ada juga special cases di mana gadis akan meminati seorang lelaki itu dan kemudiannya berubah apabila lelaki itu juga meminatinya. Itu bukan salah anda, bro. Itu salah gadis itu kerana dia hanya meminati lelaki tersebut melalui apa yang dia fantasise-kan dan bukan apa yang sebenarnya. Ia seperti orang yang rasa mereka minat Remy Ishak tapi lepas tu sedar mereka bukan minat Remy Ishak kerana diri Remy Ishak tu, tapi kerana lakonan Remy sebagai Adam dalam NUR KASIH.

Oleh yang demikian bro, know your place. Know which guy you are. It's not difficult. Dengan kewujudan Facebook, mengetahui hal tersebut menjadi lebih mudah. It's an unwritten rule that you can just learn by heart. And I said by your heart, not by your dick, excuse my French. Those are two very different thing.

Love is nature, but relationship is nurtured. Kadang-kadang you think you're the hero in your own story, but you end up becoming the villain or pelakon tempelan dalam kisah orang lain. Don't worry. In a failed relationship, you are not the protagonist, tapi you will be one when the time comes for your story to reveal itself.

Yours truly,

Safiah"

Senang betul aku melepaskan diri dari tanggungjawab menjawab soalan kan? hahahahaha. 

Thank you

Kadang-kadang, bila aku tengok kawan-kawan yang dah berjaya dalam hidup dan yang dah settle down, memang aku rasa jealous. It feels like, at least diorang dah bukak buku baru dalam hidup. Meanwhile aku? Masih lagi duduk di rumah menulis dengan secawan kopi susu kambing atau Oligo Cocoa di tangan. Tapi bila aku fikir balik, kenapalah tak bersyukur dengan Tuhan ye? Seingat aku, kebanyakan impian aku sebagai insan single, Allah dah pun makbulkan. Hahaha.

PART ONE: Aku dah jumpa dengan insan yang aku nak jumpa

Bukanlah semua orang. Aku redha la ada insan2 yang aku tak akan dapat jumpa even kalau mereka ni hidup pada abad ni pun (apatah lagi dah tak ada) sebab terlalu tinggi darjatnya bagi aku insan yang tak seberapa (Rasulullah SAW, Salahudin Al-Ayubi), dan juga tak jumpa sebab dah tak ada (Jane Austen, Clark Gable, John Lennon). Tapi sekalipun ramai lagi yang aku belum dapat jumpa face to face (Tok Guru Nik Aziz), tapi aku dah dapat jumpa mereka2 yang aku hormat ni:


i. Prof Emeritus Khoo Kay Kim : Aku pegi interview dekat  SUHAKAM dan ditemuduga leh beliau. Rasa sangat honoured dapat bercakap sendiri dengan beliau, shake his hands dan assured that they will call me if I'm pick. Aku memang tak terpilih pun, tapi at least Prof Khoo yang buat janji palsu tu kat aku. Hahahaha.


ii. Mamat Khalid : Pergi cover filem ESTET kat Kuala Kangsar dan dapat dengar sendiri idea dia tentang filem. Aku memang pengikut kerja dia sejak "Rombongan Kak Kiah ke Komanwel", jadi masa tu sekalipun atas tujuan kerja pun, aku still rasa sangat best.


iii. Rusdi Ramly: ........................ what? Dulu aku minat dia. Tapi lepas dapat jumpa, rasa biasa je. Hahaha.


iv. Suwit Mangkhala: Aku pergi interview kat Kedutaan Thai untuk jadi setiausaha dia........ Ok fine, dia bukan selebriti. Aku saja sebut nama dia sebab hensem tak hengat. Dahla kelakar, hensem, setiausaha politik plak tu. Berapa kali nak jumpa seumur hidup? Hahahahaha. Sebab tu Allah tak bagi aku kerja tu. Nanti aku berdosa je setiap hari drooling over the guy.


v. Mustapha Maarof: Dulu aku consider dia antara pelakon melayu paling hensem apatah lagi dalam filem BAWANG PUTIH BAWANG MERAH. Siapa pedulik Latifah Omar pakai kemban dalam cerita tu. Mustapha Maarof ah yang paling menarik perhatian sekali. Masa jumpa dia kat FINAS, aku cam "Wargh!! This dude married Roseyatimah! This is the sultan! The sultan!!!"


vi. M.Nasir: Ok fine, aku cuma pergi konsert dia je. Tapi still.... stillllll.... It's M.Nasir!

vii. Anwar Ibrahim: Aku jumpa masa kat sekolah dan Anwar masih Timbalan Perdana Menteri. Masa tu ada meeting amende tah kat sekolah aku... rasanya dipergunakan UMNO untuk buat mesyuarat ke apetah. Tak hengat. Tapi aku KRS dan kena jaga jalan (kenapalah diorang ni suruh budak sekolah jaga jalan untuk diorang instead o suruh budak2 belajar?). Anwar bagi ucapan dan aku dapat gambar dia walaupun twi years later aku kehilangan wallet aku yang simpan gambar tu. Sayang gila, sebab I think it is one of those last moments of Anwar as a Deputy PM. Tapi ironically, at the time I met him, I did not like him because of the whole purdah issue that he failed to address.


viii. Sharah Ibrahim: Betapa anehnya, satu masa dulu aku cuma dapat tengok gambarnya kat dalam majalah saja tapi akhirnya, aku dapat jumpa dia bukan sekali tapi berkali-kali sambil buat lawak tepape dan ditepuk belakang secara berkali2 sebab asik cakap benda yang mengarut dengan dia. Ya, bila aku jadi novelis untuk Buku Prima dan Karangkraf, akhirnya aku bekerja dengan dia.


ix. Kim Ha-neul: Dulu aku minat Kim Ha-neul. Tapi sayangnya aku cuma dapat jumpa dia masa aku dah tak minat dia lagi. Benda ni selalu berlaku kat aku. Aku asyik jumpa artis yang aku pernah suka dan tak suka lagi dah. Aku rasa one of these days mungkin aku akan dapat jumpa Jay Chou (sebab dah tak minat lagi).


x. Tok Guru Abdul Hadi Awang: Kitorang pergi rumah dia masa dia jadi Menteri Besar Terengganu. Hahaha. Kenapa? Sebab boleh. Kalau nak masuk rumah menteri besar lain pun semudah tu, dah lama kitorang masuk. Tapi dah banyak sgt protokol, takde makna la nak pegi. Ni tak, umah Hadi Awang ni, ko drive through je ala McDonald. Pagar pon tak kunci. Hahaha. Masa kitorang datang, dia tengah nak blah gi meeting.

Sekarang ni impian aku ialah nak jumpa Stephen King. One of these days, aku nak beli tiket carik dia kat Maine, stalk dia ala2 Annie Wilkes dalam MISERY. Muahahahaha.

Kalau aku letak tajuk pun, leh dapat award ke blog ni?

Minggu lepas aku sibuk tahap ba.....dak laut.

ISNIN

Aku tak ingat apa aku buat hari Isnin. Kehidupan aku agak vague setiap kali Isnin menjelma.

SELASA

Aku ada press preview dan press conference filem terbaru pengarah Singapore, Wee Li Lin, "Forever". I always have a soft spot for Wee Li Lin's movies. Sekalipun selama aku bekerja dalam bidang bidan terjun kewartawanan hiburan ni dah lama, tapi aku bukan jenis yang pedulik artis. Oleh sebab yang demikian artis pun tak pernah pedulikkan aku. Kami sama2 tak pedulik. Jadi aku bukanlah macam Michelle Melodi yang dikenali semua golongan artis. Tapi it's different dengan Wee. I can't vouch that she remembered my name, but for her to smile at my tiny camera despite of all the big DSLR around with that tiny recognition, I knew that she remembered me. And I have always loved her movies and her female voice - she is fun and flirtatious, intelligent and yet not too feministic. And her movies is how I want my novels to be remembered. Check out review filem FOREVER kat right side blog ni. 

Then pergi ofis untuk hantar press kit yang dah macam setahun bertimbun tu. Aku baru tak lawat opis tiga bulan, press kit macam tak lawat 5 tahun. Oh, untuk pemahaman umum dengan bahasa yang mudah, press kit adalah things yang pengedar filem bagi pada reviewer untuk dijadikan reference ketika menulis ulasan atau menulis berita. Think of "First Aid Kit" and buang the "First Aid" part of it. Yes, it means something like that without the peti and the bandage. Hahahaha (aku makin menyusahkan maksud benda tu je).

Balik tu aku teringat bahawasanya ofis satu lagi belum jawab soalan aku fasal 14 filem yang aku kena review. Jadi aku pun hantar SMS pada editor aku tanya apasai takdak sapa jawab email aku dari kamis lepas. Tapi dia kata suh datang dulu ke ofis untuk amik aku punye free passes dan baru bincang. Aku dah lupa pasal free passes tu sbb aku tau dah diri sendiri kalau dapat free passes memang tak pernah guna. Dulu aku ada free passes to any movie screening tapi aku langsung tak guna sampaila hujung tahun. Biasanya orang pergi kerja untuk dapatkan reward kan? Instead, aku kena amik reward supaya diberikan kerja. Tak dibuat dek orang. Tai rasa menyesal jugak sebab tadi dah pegi opis, and kena menapak lagi ke opis. Aku bukan gemar benor KJ tu. Kalau ada dua KJ yang aku tak gemar di dunia, itu adalah Khairy Jamaludin.... dan Kelana Jaya.

RABU

Aku cuba menyiapkan SAFA DAN MARWAH. Sejak bos bagi aku laptopnya, aku kena cue semua kerja translation aku. That means kalau biasanya aku amik masa sejam untuk translate, sejam lagi untuk edit - sekarang aku perlukan sejam translate, sejam edit, sejam masukkan dalam software, dua jam cue. Itu untuk show yang 30 minit. Kalau sejam? Dua jam? Ha, ganda2kan jela semua jam2 tu.

Mun kata MAHB ada this whole bukak booth hari Jumaat and tanya kalau aku free nak join. Aku mana pernah free. Tapi disebabkan aku rasa GMO dah lama tak bukak booth, aku pon agree jela.

KHAMIS

Demi 14 buah filem yang tak ber-review tu, aku pun menapak semula ke CO. Tapi bila aku sampai je, editor aku kata dari 14 movie tu cuma tinggal 1 je yang belum review............................... memang ada rasa macam bunyi cengkerik dalam hati aku masa tu, cam, aku tinggalkan kerja aku yang melambak hanya untuk diberitahu kerja aku tinggal satu je? Bukan sembilan atau sepuluh... tapi satu?

Lepak kat pantry berburak dengan Kak Ani tentang kehidupan (hahaha) sementara tunggu si Mun datang (aku kena gi umah dia untuk assist prepare GMO product for the next day). Kak Ani dah menggunakan falsafah baru iaitu "Lantakkanlah. Aku buat kerja aku, kau buat kerja kau. Akhir bulan dapat gaji." 

Petang tu pergi rumah Mun dan habiskan the whole night menyiapkan 70 pieces of crumbles, 5 pies and 40 chocolate moist cake (oh cake tu Mun handle sensorang). Tapi disebabkan aku memang insomnia setiap malam, penat camana pun, aku still takleh tido dgn tenang. Sempat plak tu siapkan 4 news.

JUMAAT

Bukak booth kat MAHB. Nusara nak promote catering so kitorang jual both product GMO dan jugak Beriyani Kambing Nusara. Memula agak slow dan kitorang risau gak. Tapi tetibe bile orang balik solat Jumaat, tetibe tak menang tangan. Aku punyela penat dan haus, aku berjaya habiskan sebotol air mineral, setin air Sprite, sekotak teh ais lemon dan sebotol 100Plus. Pergh, macam tangki ah badan aku hari tuh. Maria called tanya fasal pie sebab nak sambut birthday maknya. Since Nad tengah busy adjusting to her new job, aku cadangkan yang the pie dideliver terus ke Subang Jaya through Mun and suruh Adam amik.

Balik rumah terus lembik. 

SABTU

Memula macam nak demam. Aku tak rasa demam tu sebab penat kerja. Demam tu just sebab aku guan energy lebih daripada recharge energy. Tapi sebab dah janji nak jumpa Liza (Nur), petang tu aku gagahkan diri jugak ke Pesta Buku Selangor. Lepak kejap kat situ, lepas tu pi makan kat Secret Recipe sambil berborak pasal hidup (ye, aku mmg suka berborak fasal hidup. hahaha). Lepas Liza balik, aku and kaklong beli stuff and balik umah.

Sementara tunggu dijemput, adala sorang budak umur dalam 3 ke 4 tahun main-main kat tepi aku. Aku tak pedulikla pasal dia berlari-lari melompat2 tuh, tapi yang buat aku tergelak sensorang ialah budak tu menyanyi lagu "Ice ice baby... ding ding ding ding digeding ding..." Macam dah berkurun kot aku tak dengar lagu Vanilla Ice tu and tetibe budak yang memang belum dibuat lagi (probably bapak dia pon baru pandai mengeja masa tu) pada zaman Vanilla Ice popular nyanyi lagu tu.

AHAD

Menyiapkan kerja subtitling yang maha dahsyat. Sebuah filem tahun 1980-an lakonan Rano Karno dan Marissa Haque yang bertajuk KEMBANG SEMUSIM. Sampai sekarang aku belum siap buat sebab:

a) Istilah remaja pada tahun 1980-an, mana aku nak tau. Nak research pun tak ada kat internet.

b) Cerita to reminisce to stuff Khadijah Hashim would write in those days, like a one location movie ala2 "GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER" lakonan Sydney Poitier tahun 60-an dulu. Agak penat nak tengok sebab tak banyak bergerak. Plot is more or less talking at the same spot for more than an hour.

Ha, siap kau.... aku punye diary kehidupan minggu lepas. Lain kali aku menulis macam ni jela eh? Hahahahaha.