How to pretend to be philosophical?

Quotes and analogies are stupid.

I mean everybody can write them. All you need is a little bit of craphead and a lot of bullshitting. I seem to have both! Yay me.

I mean, you don't need to quote from other people as long as you can just think about something inside of its nature and link it to your life. It's not an art. It's not a skill. It's just 'thinking too much'. Yes, I got that too, so yay me again.

You can make 10 so-called 'analogies' about love from the most random things around. And it either makes people go, "That is so true...." and cry, or "That is so true...." and laugh. The keyword here is "linking".

Here are 10 examples of made up analogies from stupid things that came out of my head:

1. Jay Chou
Love is like Jay Chou. You can sing about it. Act upon it? Usually fail.

2. Muffin Recipe
Love is like a muffin recipe. The picture looks delicious and you crave for it, but then when you make your own, it's not as good. But hey, at least you tried.

3. Pamela Anderson
Love is like Pam Anderson's boobs. Hard to keep it to yourself, but makes you perky.

4. Handbag
Love is like a handbag. You pick the expensive foreign one, and you became obsessive and clingy to it. Pick a cheap one, it gets dirty easily and you will want to change it every few season. Just pick the local, at least you know which factory it came from.  

Hmmm... lemme look around.

5.Oh! Media's footage of two malay teens kissing near Pavilion
Love is like two dumb malay teenagers kissing. It's messy, sloppy and annoying. But hey, things happen.

6. Blood-red cotton shawl
Love is like a blood-red cotton shawl. You think you look pretty in it, but everyone cannot recognise you anymore.

7. Astro Beyond
Having love is like having Astro Beyond. You think you have more channels and viewing pleasure, but actually you have to pay twice as much.

8. Mario Puzo book
Love is like a Mario Puzo's book. You want it, you get it, but you don't actually read it. You just like to exhibit it. It makes you feel cool.

9. Clock
Love is like a clock. One face, 12 different shapes and hands that kept directing you to speed up your life. 

10. Butt
Love is like a virgin's butt. You know it's there, but it's not showing.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha, you guys. It's silence of the lambs.