That I am not

The more I call myself a writer,
the more afraid I am
Afraid that I will lose my readers
afraid I will lose my fans
afraid to talk with ease
afraid to be blunt again
afraid to voice an opinion
afraid the thoughts of being banned
I'm afraid to be loved too much
As much as I am scared that I will be hated
The thoughts of being criticised gets into my head
The thoughts of being unoriginal crept through my mind
The thoughts that I have to give pleasure
Made me deaf, mute and blind
I am scared that I will be
the ones that write without a feel
the ones that formulate each passing plot
the ones that art don't mean a lot
And as time goes by
I pretend that I
am still the same witty sarcastic writer
that I am not.

NSK
1.25 am
Shah Alam