That small old man...

Did I ever tell you the story of my father? I think I told the story far too many times, but what the heck...

My father, like most men born in the 40s and grew up in the 50s, were not a religious man. When he was studying in Indonesia, he was not serious about his deen. Everybody who knew him at the time will remember that he once said, "Aku akan berubah bila Sungai Ciliwung bersih"...

(Which is like saying, I will change when Sungai Klang is clean, which is a no-brainer).

But one day, when he returned from Indonesia and was repairing a television without switching the electricity off, he got electrically shocked. He fell down and fainted. After a while, he woke up and told my mother, "Tuhan masih sayangkan aku."

He changed from then on. He started going to usrahs, learn more about the religion and never once forgot to do his tahajjuds. He began befriended pious people, which include Haji Kamarudin and Pak Cik Syafril. He also started to read books and listens to sermons made by this one ustaz, at that time already known as Tuan Guru Nik Abdul Aziz. The man had already become a politician at the time, but not yet a Kelantan CM. At the time, Kelantan was still under the rule of Barisan Nasional.

So as it is, the first politician that I ever knew was TGNA, not Mahathir, Anwar Ibrahim nor Najib Razak. Not just as a politician, but as a teacher, a Muslim icon and the man who had an influence on my father's change. He was a small man, just like my father. I liked him almost instantly.

I was taught about patience from watching him - he was mocked, ridiculed, being called so many names, challenged, by those who hated him. And yet he persevered. He kept on going. No matter what people say, he continued on and said that it would be shameful for him to stop and fall victim by others' words, when the Prophet Muhammad himself was bashed with stones by people who hated him.

I learned that life is not simple, watching how he continuously being misunderstood, his words being twisted and turned to make him look like a crazy old Kaum Tua man who babbles on and on about things. But he didn't stop from expressing his ideas, accepting if he was wrong and stressing if he knew he was right.

I learned that he is also just a man, that sometimes can't help but feel hurt by the words of others. But that's the way it is. If it was too easy, then the world will not teach you anything and that you will be living in such a dreary life with no lessons learned.

And respecting him as a leader once upon a time caused me much misery too. Friends called me "traitor" and asked me to leave the country if I hate it so much, when I did was only stating that I  hoped to see what TGNA wanted to see in future.

He is old now and it's time to let him rest a bit. He may not be able to get to see and to govern in an Islamic state like he always wanted, but more or less, his hopes of seeing more ulama' being respected, more Islamic education, more people covering their aurah, have been realised. And I hope that even though that I will never be able to be one of the executors of his vision, I would be one of the people who will get to support and see it being realised.

Inshaa-Allah.

 
"Betul, Allah itu Maha Mengetahui. Tapi bukankah molek kalau kita luahkan permintaan dan aduan kita kepadaNya? Sebenarnya Allah Maha Mengetahui diri kita lebih daripada diri kita sendiri. Tapi Allah nak dengar daripada mulut kita sendiri. Allah nak tengok bibir kita digerak-gerakkan untuk meminta padaNya. Allah sebenarnya nak dnegar suara kita." - TGNA, BICARA INI DEMI ILAHI.