The only way for them to cut my belly is by a sword... (my hospital story Part 1)

Pada asalnya aku tak nak menulis pasal surgery aku. I mean, fine, when it was about my dad, I have no issue writing about him because writing about my dad's CKD and sharing his photos on Instagram tak ubah macam satu terapi untuk aku. In the future, I want to go back and think about it with fondness, and to see all the photos, to see how much we have gone through on the road to his recovery.

When it comes to my own health issues, I would rather keep it to myself.

Tapi bila aku fikir balik, masa aku duk Google pasal treatment aku, aku tak jumpa banyak blog yang cerita pasal benda ni, at least bukan blogs yang ditulis oleh someone in Malaysia, yang boleh aku jadikan rujukan. Kebanyakannya ditulis oleh orang luar, yang dapatkan treatment hospital luar. Jadi aku piker, tak apalah. Let's share this, since whenever my friends sent me texts asking me about it, they all have the same question : How did you detect it? How can I detect it?

So first and foremost, why was I in the hospital? Oh, it was something trivial. It was ovarian cyst. To describe it further, it was a 10-cm ovarian cyst the size of a blood orange (I have thought of other fruits, but I just think that the word "blood orange" is most suitable for it ahahaha).

Let's go back to the start.

For the past few months since late 2018 aku memang ada syak something wrong. I would have this throbbing contracting pain on my lower left side. Sakit tu datang macam dua ke tiga jam, excruciating throbbing pain macam something menolak2 atau mengembang. Tapi masa tu bapak aku asik ulang alik hospital, jadi aku macam malas nak deal dengan penyakit sendiri. Kalau dibuatnya gi doktor dan dia kata kena warded, pening kepala family aku nak ulang alik dari satu hospital ke hospital lain. I would take ENO, lepas tu tidur, dan it would go away.

On 8 February 2019, I started to feel that throbbing excruciating mind-numbing pain again. Aku cuba ENO, tak jalan. Tapi tak berani amik painkiller sebab aku syak it got something to do with my kidneys (bila bapak ko CKD, kau jadi hyper aware dengan kesihatan buah pinggang kau). The same day, kucing aku mengamuk dan gigit tangan aku, dan it went numb. So memang makcik terseksa weh. Perut belah kiri sakit gila, tangan kanan tak boleh genggam. Sepanjang waktu tu duk Google penyakit, walaupun kau tahu jawapan kepada sakit ialah "jumpa doktor". A slew of results came out for "excruciating lower left abdominal pain". There were diverticulitis, appendicitis, batu karang, CKD, ovarian cancer (but of course, all roads to health-related Google will end up to with the C-word).

Sabtu 9 Februari. Sakit tak hilang, so aku pon pergi AVISENA. Bukan sebab aku kaya, tapi sebab tak tertampung sakit ni nak tunggu orang ramai kat hospital kerajaan. Buat urine test, doktor kata okey je. Dia bagi ubat untuk buang angin, tetanus shot for my numbing hand from the cat bite, and antibiotik (itu pun untuk cat bite). Bam, RM210 dia charge. Balik rumah, makin sakit lagi ada la. At 4.30pm, I could no longer hold it, so I asked my sister to take me to AVISENA again. This time to the ER.

Blood test, urine test again. Doktor kata ada blood in urine. The last urine test probably silap sebab diorang tak explain betul2 how it should be done. You actually have to pee a bit, stop, then pee again. The second part baru kumpul. Don't ask me why that is. That's what the doctor told me. Doktor kata suspect batu karang.  Ironiknya, dua minggu sebelum tu, kitorang baru melawat Kakdik, jiran kitorang kat AVISENA yang kena undergo surgery batu karang. Tapi a call with my aunt, who said that she had a cyst and it was the same symptom, made me believe the latter. Truthfully, aku lebih prefer the latter, sebab batu karang is a nuisance.

Went for X-ray dan CT scan. Akak aku uruskan kemasukan wad. I have two takafuls. Prudential and Ikhlas (yes, hidup makcik terseksa nak bayar insuran, tapi at least makcik ada dua insurans. ahahah). Fortunately, with Ikhlas, aku ada medical card, which means that I can just get hospitalised tanpa perlu piker pasal nak bayar macam mana. Amik bilik sorang, RM195 per night (takaful cover), , deposit RM500 . Yang kelakarnya, sebelum ni jiran aku dapat bilik 317. Aku dapat bilik 316. Even kat hospital pon, bilik kitorang berjiran.

My room. Meja untuk makan dah jadi meja untuk laptop sebab takde makna aku nak baring je tak buat kerja

The first night, Dr Jamil from gastroenterology datang. He explained that I have bacteria in my urine and low red blood count. Scan showed inflamed ovaries blocking the view of my bladder. Jap... dalam BM - "ada bakteria dalam air kencing, kurang darah merah, ovari bengkak menyebabkan dia tak nampak pundi kencing dan tak boleh nak decide sama ada batu karang ke bukan batu karang." Jadi kena la buat test lagi sekali dan ada gynae akan datang untuk check about the ovaries.

10 February. Tim dan Nad datang melawat kat hospital. Dinie, who is also my Takaful agent (haha) datang melawat malam tu dan gave me some tips. Dr Norleen from OB/GYN datang check perut, tekan2 tapi tak rasa macam ada something wrong. But she still scheduled me for an appointment on Monday. Dr Jamil datang lagi dan kata aku kena CT scan sekali lagi.
***Katering datang hantar makanan dan menu untuk esok. I was like, cool, a menu. Otak kekonon nak makan apa aje yg ada, tapi tetibe rasa pretentious gila jaga kesihatan dan pilih makanan yang rendah kalori. Hipokrit nakmati.

11 Februari. Pagi tu ultrasound with Dr Norleen in the morning. Katanya cyst in my left ovary 7cm. Let me tell you something. Aku sangat tak suka pergi Gynae clinic as a single woman who is diagnosed with cyst. Pregnant people annoy me with their happiness. One girl was trying to chat with me, and all I could think of was "Oh my God, get away from me you happy woman!" (I was in pain, I was annoyed that I have to take a break from work walaupon aku ni seorang freelancer yg kais pagi makan pagi, aku rimas dengan branula kat tangan. Happy pregnant women are the most annoying thing I could ever see at that moment. I know she wants me to ask her about her pregnancy, but my evil mind was like, "No, I will not give you the satisfaction". It was really mean, I know. It was the painkiller, I tell you. It makes me an evil person (alasan)).

Dr Norleen tanya nak balik rumah bincang dengan family dulu ke nak surgery terus. Bincang? For what? Surgery terus! scheduled for me to have a pelvic CT scan with another doctor. Dr. Thanee, at 12pm. He checked. It was 10cm. And then he laughed about it, so I laughed about it, and feel okay again. I mean, I guess that's all I needed at the time. Someone to make a joke about it. He asked me nak surgery esok ke lusa. Aku nak esoknya, tapi OT penuh, so dapatla Rabu. I was not happy, because it means that I have to stay one more day. He asked nak laparoscopy ke laparatomy. Laparascopic cystectomy bermaksud dia akan tebuk empat lubang around my stomach, dua bahagian untuk masukkan the knifey thingy amendetah (makcik bukan doktor, tak kuasa nak explain), dan untuk masukkan kamera. They will pump in gas, he will cut the cyst sikit for biopsy, and selebihnya dia akan pecahkan, siat keluar daripada ovary, clean everything up, jahit balik, masukkan the remaining cyst inside a plastic and keluarkan. It would take shorter time to heal, boleh keluar hospital in one to two days, but it would cost dalam RM23-25k.

Below is a whole video of how a laparoscopy is done if you're that sort of people - like me - who likes to torture themselves.

Laparotomy is... well, belah perut, keluarkan cyst. The healing time would take a lot, like maybe two weeks more of ward time, dan a month of recovery. But it costs less. Dalam RM10k.

Adakah aku yang kena risaukan berapa harganya sedangkan aku dah beberapa tahun terseksa bayar insuran? Of course not. I let Takaful Ikhlas deal with that. So I said yes, a thousand times yes, to laparoscopy. The only people I would let cut my stomach would be a) a doctor getting a baby out or b) Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as Jaime Lannister slashing my belly with a sword. I would die for Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. I don't mind.

Tim datang melawat lagi lepas habis waktu sekolah. That's how I know I have the best of friends.

Puasa sampai pukul 3 sebab kena buat CT scan lagi sekali. A special one at that - 3D scan yang lebih jelas. This time, kena minum setengah jag oral contrast. Anggapkan oral contrast ni macam sejenis "water colour" untuk warnakan organ2 kau supaya bila doktor tengok, diorang boleh nampak ketidaknormalan isi dalam kau dengan lebih jelas.

Apa rasa oral contrast? Macam lemon-infused water. Satu cawan is fine, tapi setengah jag tu macam satu seksaan. 30 minutes later, masuk bilik for CT scan, diorang shoot lagi oral contrast ke dalam branula (which made my arm all numb and cold). Lepas tu, halfway through the scan, masuk lagi ubat lain plak dalam branula, This time it stings! Dah tu nurse pulak tetiba kata, "Nanti badan akan rasa panas tau. Jangan panik tau."

Hakak, kalau taknak saya panik, janganlah sebut perkataan panik...

Ubat yang masuk kali kedua tu memang buat bahagian dalam badan kau rasa panas, seolah2 organ2 kau dipanaskan dalam microwave. Tgh scan tetiba rasa nak terkencing sangat. Adalah sesungguhnya perasaan nak terkencing while kau atas mesin CT scan itu adalah seksaan sesungguhnya.
Balik ke bilik, bilik penuh dengan sedara mara. Ahahaha. With my grandma, and my paklong and maklong, and makkak, Liliee and her three kiddoes (my beloved nephews Uwais and Uqail and lovely niece Layla). Diorang tengok aku balik ke bilik dengan muka relax, sume cam konpius, "Ni sakit ke tak ni?"

These two weirdos are the light of my life. 

Masa tu memang tak sakit, sebab berapa tan painkiller pulak diorang dah bagi aku. Pills, shots. It was like a rave party in muh body............ that sounds terrible.

Dr Jamil datang sekali lagi, confirmkan yang aku akan undergo surgery Rabu under gynae. Dia kata dia akan confirm balik sama ada aku ada batu karang ke tak. I said "Okey!" dengan penuh riang, and he was like... mengapakah perempuan ini terlalu riang ria nak surgery?

Oh, and my sister was taking care of me the whole time (I mean when she was not at work), even berkampung kat hospital. Partly sebab aku meyakinkan dia yang it would be more peaceful to sleep at the hospital daripada dia duduk rumah menghadap pergaduhan harian mak bapak aku ahahahaha. Kat hospital boleh mandi air panas and boleh pergi beli ice blended coffee kat Gloria Jeans bebila aje nak, atau jalan kaki pergi menyeberang ke Vista Alam untuk makan Cibiuk atau mee goreng mamak. She was influenced. Heck, kalau aku pun aku akan pilih untuk jaga aku daripada duduk rumah. Ahaha.

To be continued....