Dalam masa yang sama, sesetengah pembaca (aku tak kata "ramai pembaca" because it would be lying...) tanya aku pasal karakter lelaki yang inspire aku. Ala, aku tau kenapa diorang tanya. Mesti sebab baca AKU KAN NOVELIS, lepas tu terpengaruh dengan Roul, lepas tu nak tau what was on my mind when I created Roul, kan? Kan? Ahahahaha.
So aku senaraikan di sini. Sebenarnya bukanlah "inspire" aku, tapi senang kata, aku suka kesemua karakter ni sebab dia ada depth, as in psychological depth, bukan cam being like it "just because" (although dalam entry ni, tak semestinya aku akan buat psychological analysis for every character... sebab aku manusia yang malas).
Ini Top 10 Karakter Fiksyen/Filem (Lelaki) yang bagi aku adalah genius:
1. Rhett Butler
("Gone with the Wind")
Ya, aku suka Scarlett O'Hara, dan aku suka saingannya, Rhett Butler. Apa yang aku suka tentang Rhett bukanlah the whole package - bad boy, wealthy arsehole, rides a horse like a boss. Tapi sebab dia saja yang boleh control Scarlett's unexpected behaviour. Control in this sense bermaksud Rhett is a man who has experienced the world dan tahu bila masanya Scarlett buat sesuatu bersebab dan bila masanya she was just acting on her whims. And that can be said in regards to his views about everyone. Dia sorang saja yang rasa this whole war business merugikan dan the South tak ada sebarang strategi tapi sekadar ego yang dipupuk dek semangat 'ketuanan' (atau erti kata lainnya, "Southern Pride"). He's not cynical. He's just being logical. And the others hated him for his socially-marginalised views.
(Sebab tu setiap kali aku dengar member2 citer pasal semangat ketuanan Melayu, aku teringat pada Rhett Butler's heated exchange with the overzealous South fanatic, Charles Hamilton)
Dan aku suka the fact that in the end, he left Scarlett. It shows that Rhett bukan karakter jiwang yang akan buat apa saja demi mendapatkan perempuan yang sah-sah tak tahu menghargai apa yang dia ada. He left her not as a lesson to her, but as a lesson to himself, that his obsession with her passion is poisonous.
Of course aku suka when they were together, because they're such an evil tag team, tapi aku rasa tak ada apa yang lebih hebat berbanding the last part when he left her despite her love confession. It made GONE WITH THE WIND a better story, because then you realised that the story is not actually about Scarlett and Rhett. It's a story about the rise and fall of civilisation yang dipercantikkan dengan kewujudan dua karakter tu. It was the age of civil war. It doesn't want to dumb readers with happily ever afters. (Sebab tu aku sangat benci novel "Scarlett" yang ditulis oleh Alexandra Ripley, sebab she just destroyed all the meaning from GWTW with her annoying happily ever afters...)
Oh, dan jangan lupa his most iconic statement yang suatu masa dulu pernah jadi aku punya title blog...
2. Richard Harrow
Harrow bukan watak utama dalam siri HBO pasal era Prohibition ni. Tapi as soon as the producers masukkan wataknya dalam siri ni, aku terus cam,...Hell yeah! Played by Jack Huston, cucu kepada THE John Huston, the first episode yang dia muncul, lookin' all "Don't-look'at-me" and "I-am-already-dead-in-the-war", aku terus rasa that I will like his character.
First of all, Richard Harrow ada dua personaliti. No, walaupun topeng dan kecacatan muka dia tu ala Two-Face, dual personality yang aku maksudkan bukan macam Two-Face. Harrow is a ruthless assassin who just wants to be normal. The death of Angela beri impak yang lebih besar kepada dia berbanding kepada Jimmy, which is her own husband, sebab Angela was his 'normal'. He was not in love with her, but he loves her for how she treated him as if he was whole (pun intended). The same goes to his loyalty to Jimmy, the only guy yang bercakap dengan dia tanpa mintak dia explain kenapa muka dia macam tu, and the fact that Jimmy shares the same misery with him - that they both think they've already died in the war, and they're only living the remnants of a meaningless life, makes them closer together. And it was super-badass tengok these two guys destroying people who got in Nucky Thompson's way earlier in season 1.
So bila Jimmy mati and Harrow returns to the Darmody mansion dengan his whole arsenal dan tembak semua orang (dengan penuh bergaya, because he's Richard Harrow, bitch!) semata-mata untuk stay true to his promise to Angela and Jimmy and protect their son Tommy, aku depan TV cam, "Yeah, shoot em all! Shoot. Em. All!!"
(okay, perangai suruh tembak orang ni just untuk televisyen. Aku tak condone the use of weapon towards anybody, criminal or not).
3. Mr. Darcy
("Pride & Prejudice)
Minat Mr. Darcy, oh sangat klise! Tapi I have to admit, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE was the only book yang boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk baca what happen next. Tak ada buku lain. Not even GONE WITH THE WIND boleh buat aku bangun pukul lima pagi just untuk tahu what happened in the second act.
Dulu aku anggap Mr. Darcy adalah watak yang paling perfect dalam dunia, tapi itu aku ketika berusia awal 20-an. Masa awal 20-an, rupa paras, kekayaan, dan the whole "I will do anything for her" shit macam sangat dreamy. Tapi di era ini, era aku selalu sakit sendi, banyak bil nak dibayar dan ada metabolisme yang menurun (haih...), Mr. Darcy macam satu fantasy yang tak akan jadi kenyataan. Tapi aku still kena masukkan dia dalam senarai sebab I even dedicated a whole book for Mr. Darcy in my second novel, PLAIN JANE.
The reason is the same with everybody - he is dreamy, complicated, misunderstood, yada yada yada. Next!!
4. Michael Bluth
Memang aneh untuk memasukkan watak Michael Bluth ke dalam senarai. Tapi aku tak kata ini senarai "lelaki idaman aku", just senarai karakter yang aku suka. Dan aku suka Michael Bluth (lakonan Jason Bateman) sebab dia ridiculous. He is adorable, yes... but ridiculous to boot.
I mean, he is a family man yang cuba nak satukan keluarganya tak kira betapa unworthy dan selfish sekalipun keluarganya tu. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, Michael sendiri bukanlah manusia paling baik dalam dunia. He thought he is. He thought he is the saviour who can unite the family. But he actually does it for his own ego. He can't stand it when he was not the go-to guy atau bila anak dia lebih worship GOB or Lindsay. Dia nak ada say in everything and keep using the word, "I have sacrificed a lot for this family".
Michael Bluth is actually the epitome of almost everybody in the world who think that they're doing something good for others or sacrificing for the sake of others, tapi sebenarnya ada ketidakikhlasan di situ, usually when they feel hurt that they're under-appreciated. Have you ever felt like that? Then, congrats, you're a Michael Bluth. Are you saying you're not? Tahniah, you are in denial, which still makes you a Michael Bluth.
5. Michael Corleone
("The Godfather, 1, 2 & 3")
Setiap kali sebut nama Michael Corleone, mula la otak aku main lagu "Speak Softly Love"... which is actually theme song untuk Don Vito, dan bukan Michael. Masa mula-mula aku tengok THE GODFATHER, aku terlalu muda untuk memahami the fact that the whole story is about Michael, not Vito.
Michael, macam Richard Harrow, cuma nak kehidupan biasa with his beloved, Kay, which in Mafia book means 'fantasy life'. Dia tak nak jadi sebahagian daripada the whole Mafia family, and Don Corleone pun harap yang his most favourite son will not be a part of the "family business". Tapi he was thrust into the criminal life when his father was nearly killed by Sollozo. It's like, he didn't want to join the life of crime because of his father, but he finally joined in because of him. Very Greek tragedy, no?
So here's a normal guy who wants no violence, but had to be violent due to circumstances... and choice. A choice he regretted later, but a choice he can't turn away from. Which is so similar to another of my favourite male character:
6. Walter White
Walter White, not unlike Michael Corleone, is a non-violent man who has to finally resort to violence. Cuma bezanya, even Michael Corleone tak berniat nak masuk ke dunia jenayah. Tapi Walter, the 50 year-old chemistry genius yang end up jadi under-appreciated chemistry teacher due to his own pride and greed once upon a time, end up menjadi drug kingpin sebab dia tak tahu when to actually stop.
Well, of course he started because he was diagnosed with cancer and will die in two years, so dia tak nak burden his family with debt dengan cara mencari easy money menggunakan kepakarannya dalam chemistry to create the purest crystal meth ever. Tapi Walter White yang itu cuma nak dapatkan duit dengan pantas tanpa keluarganya tahu tentang penyakitnya ataupun aktiviti haramnya. Masalahnya, the world that Walter was forcing himself into is not the typical demand-supply, buy-sell world. The drug biz is a multi-layered criminal world yang melibatkan cartels, which means a lot of additional crimes, death and much more. And he can't get his money by being Walter White, the wimpy high school teacher. He has to play a new role, of a cunning conniving kingpin with the pseudonym Heisenberg.
Apa yang aku suka tentang Walter White adalah the fact that when you peel all the layers, adalah lelaki yang mengalami krisis pertengahan usia. Students dia tak pedulik dengan chemistry, bini dia queen control and sedang pregnant, dia ada two jobs untuk provide for his family and pay the medical bills for his son yang ada cerebral palsy, kawan baik dia di universiti dah berjaya jadi billionaire through the company yang he helped created and he even named, and now he is dying of cancer and may die as an insignificant man despite his actual talent and intelligence.
Tapi once he became "The One Who Knocks", dia lupa diri dan his pride and greed takes over. Tapi the "geniusness" of this character (played by Bryan Cranston of "Malcolm in the Middle" fame) ialah, anda tahu dia sebenarnya evil, selfish, ego, tamak, angkuh... tapi somehow you root for him, because you know how it feels to be unappreciated.
7. Michael Scofield
Oh, tak payah cerita pasal Wentworth Miller gay atau tak. Itu isu lain. Kita bercakap tentang Scofield, dan bukan pelakon yang melakonkan watak Scofield. Scofield macam that one dude you hope to be with somehow cuz you know if something happens to you, he will do everything in his power to save you... and not in those cliched "Nah, aku beli syarikat ni so kau tak perlu dibuli lagi" sense, but more like, "See, I fake death and run into danger just to see you again..." ala-ala Shakespearean heroes.
I want to be all psychological about Scofield, but I just like him for all the obvious reasons, so macam pointless je nak pura-pura macam ada intelligent views about it. Ahahaha.
8. Sherlock Holmes
For obvious reasons, I will just say that I have all the Sherlock Holmes series, the book, I mean. That's how much love I have for the automaton of a man. People keep liking him for his less than interested view about the world. But to me, he is just an indifferent bastard who cares more about the how than the why.
Which is totally different than me, since I like to know why, before I even want to start to figure out the how.
9. Daryl Dixon
("The Walking Dead")
This is to show that I am a normal girl who does not only worship a 50 year-old crystal meth maker (macam Walter White) atau brooding half-faced assassin (macam Richard Harrow), but a normal woman who looks at Daryl Dixon and thinks, shit, I want one!
That crossbow, that bike, I mean, Daryl is his own video game character. In a way, he is like Michael Scofield. His brother is a goner, and yet he stays true to him. Dia yang hunts for food, dia yang ada weapon paling senyap dan efektif and he is not interested in the whole power struggles, sama ada antara Rick and Shane, atau Rick and the Governer. He's just minding his business like nobody's business.
I mean, kalau aku dalam Zombie Apocalypse, I want to be where he is. Macam lagu The Calling, "I'll go wherever you will go...."
10. Ustaz Ilyaz
("Dari Sujud ke Sujud")
Ini memang totally sebab character Ustaz Ilyas yang dibawak oleh Dude Harlino je, sebab dia nampak sangat meyakinkan sebagai seorang ustaz. Jalan cerita memang out. Aku rasa aku tengok sinetron ni hanya sebab Ustaz Ilyas dan Husna. Jalan cerita yang mengarut pasal the whole rape thing is just like, "What? You know there's an easy solution to the actual problem, right?"
It's not even Dude Harlino per say. I mean, I don't actually like his role as Shamsul Hadi in "Munajat Cinta". It's just that Ustaz Ilyas is familiar. It reminds you of your childhood and teenage years, bila ada ustaz muda mengajar kat sekolah and like, every girl in the school went totally nuts. Like, I remember there was this one ustaz... what was his name... but he was frikken gorgeous, and like, there were female students almost always in the teacher's room asking stuff yang konon2 tak faham masa dalam kelas. Or that ustaz when I was in UIA, not that good looking, but was quite popular with the girls that once a girl blocked me and went, "Ustaz, dah dengar lagu M.Nasir yang baru?" when I was right in the middle of answering his question about Heliocentrism or something (yeppp, nerd alert).
And Ustaz Ilyas reminds me of those ustazes (is that a correct plural?)... asatizes (dah jama' dalam Arab, nak plural english lagi... ish ish..)...in my growing up years. I mean, come on... you all go "Awwwweee....." bila dia sebut nama Husna dengan lemah lembut, kan? Kan? Kan?
And then when Dude goes back to his modern Dude Harlino look, you just want to go, "Duuude (as in duuuude, not Du-de), no. Go back to the pesantren look. It makes you YOU. Don't go back to the modern world. The modern world's an arse!"